How often have you set a New Year’s resolution that you will stick to for a week, two weeks, or maybe just a day before it’s out the window? Want to know why this seems to happen every year? When setting New Year’s resolutions, you're focusing only on the end goal and forgetting about the process of getting there. Goals are great for setting an intention, but ultimately, the day-to-day choices you make toward that goal will determine your success and your willingness to stick to your resolution.
If you’re ready to find a New Year’s resolution that you will stick to, try this fool-proof method:
BRAIN DUMP NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION: What do you want to achieve in the coming year?
What goals do you have? What would make you so freakin’ happy? Grab a blank sheet of paper or pull out your note-taking app and begin to list everything and anything you want in this new year. Don’t get caught up on the how; that is irrelevant now. Just get your thoughts down on paper.
CIRCLE: Look at your list, and circle your number 1 New Year’s resolution.
From the list, you created, what is the most important New Year’s resolution for you to achieve? What would it be if you focused on just one thing? Now, circle that goal!
DEEP DIVE: Why do you want to achieve that New Year’s resolution?
Let’s make sure your ‘why’ for this resolution isn’t misguided (hint: this is a HUGE reason why so many New Year's resolutions fail!) Why do you want to achieve this goal? Then ask yourself why you want that. Then ask yourself again why you want that. Repeat this at least five times. This 5th ‘why’ should be pretty powerful.
NOTE: If you’re struggling to find your ‘why,’ this may signify that you don’t want this goal (and that’s okay!). It may be something you feel like you should want or should do. If that’s you, take a step back and circle another goal before moving forward.
REFLECT: What type of person would you need to become to achieve this resolution?
How would you need to think, act, feel, behave, and show up? Who would you need to be? If you don't know, think about someone who embodies these traits, and ask yourself, who are they?
Example: If you resolve to stop binge eating. You need to become the type of person who cares for and respects your body — someone who addresses their emotions and prioritizes their needs.
GET CLARITY: Would living this way long-term make you happy?
Let’s make sure this is a goal that would benefit you. From the list you just created about the kind of person you would need to be to achieve this goal, ask yourself: would living this way long-term make me happy (keyword LONG-TERM)? Why or why not?
*If you answered no, that’s a good sign that this might not be your best goal. Pause, and circle another goal before moving forward.
FIND YOUR INTENTION: Would you still succeed if you completely ignored your goal and only focused on your behaviors?
If yes, what needs to continue? If not, what needs to change?
TAKE ACTION: What is something you can do today to get one step closer to becoming the type of person who achieves this New Year’s resolution?
Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection. But if you want to change your life, you must take action. Commit to something you can start doing daily to get one step closer to becoming the type of person that achieves this resolution. Notice I didn’t say to achieve this resolution but rather to become the TYPE OF PERSON that achieves this resolution. Focus on who you want to be and commit daily to becoming that person. That will change your life, and THAT will allow you to ultimately stick to your resolution.
To Summarize:
If you can’t figure out why your New Year’s resolutions never seem to last more than a couple of weeks, it’s time to take a new approach. By following this method, you can identify your goal based on the person you want to be and the steps it takes to get there. It’s not about the outcome; it’s about the process.
Ready For More Change? Keep Reading:
- 9 Sneaky Habits Preventing You From Binge Eating Recovery
- How To Set Boundaries Others Will Actually Listen To
- Why You Know What To Do To Change, But You’re Not Doing It
