Ahh, the catch-22 of ‘I know what to do to change. I just don't know why I won't do it!' Have you ever thought about this? It is incredibly frustrating, right? You know you have the information, but there's a block. If you're nodding your head, you're in the right place. Here are 5 reasons why this might happen and what to do about it!
01. More healing needs to happen before this change can happen.
If we seek a significant change, sometimes we need to start 4 steps back before moving forward. If the destructive behaviors you engage in result from unaddressed emotions, an experienced trauma, or hardships you've been through, then you will not be able to move forward until those past wounds are healed.
What to do: Get curious about the healing that needs to happen first. Then dive into that.
02. You want the change but don't want to do the work it takes to get it.
Ahh, the ‘I want the outcome, but not the struggle.' I get it; change is hard. Doing the work is hard. However, the problem with not finding joy in the result is that if you knuckle down and do the job to change but don't enjoy the journey, it will never stick.
What to do: Revisit your why or embrace that you might not be ready yet!
03. A part of you doesn't feel deserving of this change; therefore, you're self-sabotaging.
If you think about it, like really think about it – could there be a subconscious thought that you don't deserve this change? If so, then you will continue to self-sabotage as a way to protect yourself.
What to do: Address why you don't feel deserving. Then heal that. I HIGHLY recommend reading The Mountain Is You by Brianna Weist.
04. Maybe what you're trying to change isn't supposed to change.
I am incredibly introverted, meaning I LOVE downtime, alone time, and mellow time. And I used to think I wasn't fun because of this. So I tried to change it. I wanted to force myself to go out more, spend less time alone, and do more. And the more I tried to get myself to do this, the more challenging of a time I had doing it. It took me a long time to learn that maybe I am not meant to be someone who is super social and goes out all the time. Perhaps this isn't supposed to change because it isn't me. So I let it go. And suddenly, I could focus on what made me happy instead of trying to change something I was never supposed to.
What to do: Let go of trying to change this.
05. You're trying to change your behavior without changing your thoughts
This is the BIGGEST mistake I see so many make when trying to change. If we do not modify our thoughts, every behavior change will require willpower. And what does this mean? Whenever you're having a tough day or life throws you a curveball, this effort will go out the window.
What to do: Start by working on your thoughts!
If you know what to do to change, but you're not doing it, odds are there is something deeper happening. When you figure out what that something deeper is, THEN you can address that and move forward.
Podcasts To Help You Ponder This Further:
- Is the problem your life? OR the way you think about your life?
- Why was I so disciplined around food before, and now I can’t stick to the diet?
- 5 Healthy Habits that Changed My Life