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Negative thinking is something that affects all of us and is ultimately unavoidable. However, I promise you, we are not a hopeless cause regarding negative thinking. Here’s the thing, we cannot always control our automatic thoughts in response to a trigger. However, we can control what thoughts we choose to think instead of and behave afterward.
Here are the four steps I use to defeat these negative thoughts:
01. IDENTITY THE PROBLEM – WHAT HAPPENED?
Problem: Something triggering happened.
Solution: Figure out what exactly happened that was triggering.
Action: Spend about 10 minutes reflecting on what happened. Ask yourself: Why was that so triggering? What did that event bring up for me? Why did that event have such a major shift in my thought process and mood?
02. WHAT NEGATIVE THOUGHTS CAME TO MIND?
Problem: This event triggered major negative thoughts.
Solution: Think about how you interpreted this event.
Action:
- Grab a piece of paper.
- First, list all of the negative thoughts this event triggered.
- Next, list out how these thoughts made you feel. How does it feel reading those back right now? Would you ever say those thoughts out loud to somebody else? Write it all out – every emotion, every feeling. (If you need help getting started, here is a list of common emotions: Fear, Joy, Happiness, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, Surprise, Contempt, Anxious, Depressed, Envy, and Courage.)
03. HOW DID THOSE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS MAKE YOU FEEL?
Problem: Now you are emotional AF, freaking out over “nothing,” and you have no idea why.
Solution: Your body is hard-wired to feel exactly how you are thinking; therefore, we have to change our thinking to feel better about what happened.
Action:
- Replay this event in your mind – think about how your day would have gone differently if you had different thoughts in relation to what happened.
- On that same paper, write an alternative ending to the event with you thinking differently and responding differently.
04. HOW DID YOU ACT THE REST OF THE DAY?
Problem: You became very unpleasant, and that isn’t you.
Solution: Change the ending of the story.
Action:
- Practice letting go
- Celebrate the little wins
I will detail how this works in the episode using a body image example. Again, we might not always have control over our automatic negative thoughts – but we DO have control over how we respond to them!
