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Connect with Marissa

📲 Instagram: @marissamarsh_

🖥 Website: LifeDreamToday.com

Episode Transcript

Ryann

Hello and welcome back. I am so excited for today’s episode. I have Marissa here and we are going to be talking about all things mindset. So Marissa, thank you so much for being here and coming on the Coffee Talks Wellness Podcast today.

Marissa

Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here.

Ryann

Ah, all right. So for anybody who doesn’t know you, hasn’t found you on Instagram yet, which we will lead them to at the end of this episode, tell us a little bit more about who you are and what you do. Awesome.

Marissa

So hi everyone, I am Marissa Marsh. I am currently living in New Hampshire and I am a self-love wellness coach. So within that, I am an NLP practitioner and also a fitness expert. I really specialize in coaching on healing while having fun and teaching the skills behind a growth mindset while creating self-care protocols to reverse the side of side effects of burnout because burnout is not fun at all. So my coaching is actually focused on creating daily routines within my four pillars of health. And these are structure, emotion, environment, and nutrition, and this allows us to be fully seen. And I know we’re gonna talk about this later on, but I truly believe that there’s a solution for every single excuse. We just have to shift our mindset and our priorities and use our mind as a muscle, not a weight.

Ryann

I love that. So what do you mean by growth mindset?

Marissa

Yeah, so this is just always looking for a solution and the opportunity to go to the next step instead of running in circles.

Ryann

Okay, perfect. And can you give me an example of what a growth mindset would look like compared to a closed mindset?

Marissa

Yeah, absolutely. So for example, let’s go to the gym. The hardest part about the gym is getting in that front door. The growth mindset person is going to be prepared to go through that journey, and that means getting their workout clothes ready, getting their water bottle ready, scheduling it in. And even though that day might have not gone well, the growth mindset person is going to make sure that they follow through and walk into the gym door. Somebody who doesn’t have a growth mindset, if they had not a fun day, they’re probably not going to do that and they’re going to fall back into their old patterns. And so this would look like you going home after work and just sitting on the couch and opening a bag of chips.

Ryann

Yeah, yeah. And that is something that I feel like is not really taught what the difference is. And sometimes like if that’s not something that we’re aware of, we don’t even realize that there’s a difference between growth and close and how to Navigate that and how to figure that out. And then you also said NLP. What is NLP?

Marissa

Yes, NLP is Neurolinguistic programming. So those are big words. Let’s break it down Neuro is how the brain controls our actions So that’s what’s going on in our head and the self-talk, right? And so that leads us into linguistic. Linguistic is how our words control our action. What are we saying to ourselves? What are we saying out loud? How are we talking about our body? And then programming, this is looking at what we were taught and the rules that we live by. And programs are going on every day. I like to talk about this like we were watching TV. It’s called programming, right? Because the TV is programming us to go in a certain direction. Our brain works the same way.

We go through these different programs and we can switch them on and off, switch to the next one. And we learn these before the age of five years old. So these stories become a reality. And so if we’re learning all of these things before the age of five, well, we got to look at what was our environment like when we were five. How are we being taught? How are we being going through all of the things that we do as a kid? Are we learning to ride a bike? Are we getting up and being proud of ourselves for getting on that bike instead of being upset with ourselves that we fell? So we’re just really looking at how the brain works, how our language is communicating with ourselves because our mind, like I said before, is a muscle. So we got to use it and we got to learn the new skills around it so that we can grow it.

Ryann

Totally. So give me an example of what an NLP exercise would look like in reference to maybe body shame.

Marissa

Yeah. Awesome. So typically when we have body shame, we’ve had it for a long time. By the time that we are ready to address it, it’s been a few years. It’s not something that we really start looking at until it’s been several years, right? Is that what you find? Yeah, definitely. So we have to actually look at where did it start? And so one of the NLP techniques is going back and finding the earliest age that we can remember body shaming ourselves or someone else teaching us to body shame. And so once we go through that and figure out where that is, we then bring us back to reality, to the day today, and we ask ourselves, is this real? Is this our truth? Is this what we want to believe now? Because if we’re trying to grow and stay in that growth mindset, then we just need a new skill to unprogram ourselves that that reality isn’t true anymore.

Ryann

Yeah. So going off of that, if somebody had an experience where they were body shamed growing up, and for most of their life, they have been talking to themselves terribly, how does that affect this process and how does somebody break out of that kind of negative self-talk by using NLP or mindset work?

Marissa

Yeah, so I have a real easy, simple thing on how to actually use this one. What I find is that we look at our problems and we like to expand them and think that the world is coming crashing down on us if we don’t fix this one problem. And typically, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s just what we’ve brought to the forefront of our head repetitively, so it’s become a big thing to us. So I like to call these negative thoughts in our head ants, automatic negative thoughts. So what do ants typically do? They have a community and they’re running around like crazy, right?

So if we have ants running around in our head constantly, well, we’re actually getting a dopamine hit from those ants. We get a dopamine hit from the negative thoughts and the positive thoughts. And so now if we’re having those ants run around and we’re used to the dopamine hit from the negative, we actually just keep going on that route. So what we need to do is what I call delete, delete. Anytime we have an ant pop up, we’re gonna say delete, delete and find a positive version of it. So this could be something like, oh my goodness, I hate how I look in these pants. Delete, delete. I love that my body is taking care of me and my legs get me through the day and I can walk on them.

Ryann

I love that so much. And I think recognizing the fact that they are automatic, but we have the choice from there whether to hold on to them or delete, delete and replace. I love that so much is the difference and what can be so powerful. And I feel like with so many people that I’ve seen and I know myself included, it’s so hard not to get caught up in those negative thoughts. I love how you call it, Ant, in regards to it being in a community, because that’s so true, where it’s like, once it starts, it’s like all of a sudden you have all of these at the same time. And so, when we can kind of break them apart and start deleting one by one and replacing one by one, it becomes way less overwhelming. Oh, that is so good.

So going off of that and going back to this body shame piece, I know that you work a lot with people with trauma, either past trauma or like processing trauma. So if somebody experienced a lot of trauma in regards to their body growing up, a lot of body shame or never feeling like they were enough, or maybe they did experience something traumatic in regards to their body growing up, how do you help somebody start to process that and let go of that?

Marissa

Great question, and I love this question. I actually get it quite a lot. And one of the things that I actually recommend if we are in a kind of circle of body shame is to really start to move. That’s the first thing that I recommend people do is they start moving their body. So if we have all these ants running around and we know that they’re coming from a trauma place, well that’s just gonna spiral and we know that because it’s been happening for us for years, right? So the first thing that we need to do is pull ourselves out of our head and create a movement, non-negotiable action thing that we can do. So whether that’s going to the gym, whether that’s walking for 10 minutes a day, whether that’s just having, I like to do toothbrush dance parties in the morning.

And so we’re starting our day brushing our teeth and having a little dance party and making ourselves giggle just in the beginning to get some movement going. Because as soon as we start focusing on how do we move our body and exercising, our brain can’t do two things at once. We can’t focus on those negative ants and move our body. And so that’s the number one thing that I tell all of my clients is that we have to start creating a non-negotiable movement throughout every single day. So, when we’re looking at trauma in the body, the body always keeps score. And I love that book, The Body Keeps Score, if you haven’t read it, I highly recommend.

And so it basically says that whatever has happened to us, no matter if it was five minutes ago to five years ago, the body’s gonna keep score of that. And so that trauma is held in our body somewhere if we’re not processing it. And so we have to look at, okay, are we processing things in a positive way or are we just creating more ants in our head? And so really just shifting and creating a new program for ourselves. So earlier I was talking about how TV, that’s called programming, okay? So I like to think of TV, magazine, ads, all of those things are programming us because because they want us to be thinking in a certain way. And typically they want our ants running rampant because that’s when they can sell you something. And so our environment has to be something that we’re aware of. What are we spending our days doing? What are we allowing in our environment?

Who are we allowing in our environment? What are we allowing ourselves to focus on? Is that something that is creating a negative ant? Is that adding to our ants or is that letting our ants jump off the deep end and creating a positive one, right? So really looking at what is our day-to-day life. So that’s movement and environment. And so I’m just going to base this off my four pillars of health because it really comes down to trauma. It’s not just, oh, here was a traumatic experience. It’s taken over our everyday life. So we have to look at all of the four pillars.

So then emotions, are we, are we processing them? Are we putting them in the box and putting them in storage and then allowing storage to take over? So do we have any way to process them? And then nutrition, do we have enough water in us so that we’re not stuck in a fight or flight response? I always like to remind people that fight-or-flight response has two other responses. So we have fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. And majority of people nowadays are those fawn responders, and that’s a people pleaser. And so if you’re a people pleaser, then you typically are in a trauma response right there.

So you’re in a stress response and your body isn’t even allowed to calm down and relax and heal itself. So we’re holding onto that trauma like it’s our lifeline instead of releasing it and letting it go healing so that we can start supporting ourselves. So that’s kind of where we can look at trauma and see what can we take personal responsibility for and then start shifting those things so that we no longer are holding on to the trauma with a lifeline. I think I answered your question there, but let’s ask it again.

Ryann

Yes. So interesting. I love everything that you said. So if somebody, let’s say, is in a position where they can’t just go to the gym, or it’s freezing and they can’t go for a walk, or anxiety and these negative thoughts Yes. Anxiety and these negative thoughts are overwhelming in the middle of the night. What do you recommend for movement or maybe something else to do to help the body move when you’re not in a position where you can do a ton of movement?

Marissa

Yeah, great question. I totally think that breath work is the next best thing. And so I teach real simple box breathing. So you just inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. And you repeat this box breathing, and you really make sure you’re getting deep into your diaphragm instead of just breathing in your chest. One of the things that my clients say when they’re in an anxious state is their breathing speeds up, right? When we’re in a stress response, our breathing speeds up. And so what that does is the diaphragm, I like to think of it like an umbrella over all of our vital organs.

And if we’re not actually allowing that umbrella to open and close, then we’re not actually doing anything except for squeezing our vital organs. And so that there puts us in more of a stress response. So the box breathing allows that diaphragm to really open and close and brings us back into our body without even having to move. I mean you can do that when you wake up in the middle of the night and not even get out of bed.

Ryann

That is huge and two, that is one of those things where it kind of like takes you out of that automatic pattern and makes you think about something different. And so I think that you know whether that is the movement where you can go for a walk or if you can’t having the breathing exercises like having those two in your back pocket are so huge.

Now back to processing trauma. I feel like what sometimes gets people caught up in this or where the struggle kind of happens is indirectly with some self-sabotage where it’s like, I don’t feel like I deserve to have something because of what happened to me in the past, or maybe I don’t deserve to feel this way because what I experienced isn’t maybe as bad as what somebody else experienced. So, can you talk to me a little bit about what self-sabotage is and why people self-sabotage?

Marissa

Yeah, absolutely. This is such a good question. I love it actually. So self-sabotage is when we aren’t following what we say we want to do. That’s what it comes down to. And typically we aren’t following what we say we want to do because we don’t have any self-worth. So we create a self-sabotaging situation to pull ourselves back and into a limiting belief. So this is really common when we’ve given up on dreaming in general. So we don’t have any dream of what we want to do. We have nothing to be excited about and we’re not romancing our life. We’re not finding the fun in it. When you’re drinking a cup of water, do you look at this cup of water and say, oh my goodness, my body is 80% water and I’m fueling it with more nutritious water? Or are we like, oh, I gotta drink some water again and upset with ourselves. Right? That is one situation where one is self-sabotaging because we’re creating ants in our head and upset where the other one is like, oh my goodness, this is my lifeline.

This is amazing, I’m supporting my body, I’m loving my body. So just something as simple as being intentional with what we do every single day and the things that actually push us forward closer to what we wanna be doing. And on the flip side of that, do you know what you wanna be doing? Do you know what your days are like and do you know what you want them to be like? And what’s the difference? Because if we don’t have that kind of next level that we’re growing to, we’re definitely not in that growth mindset, right? So examples of this could be loose boundaries and not actually providing the relationship where boundaries are a good thing, not scheduling something for yourself, like making not making time for that 10 minute workout, not making time to eat, not making time to have a breather between sessions of work. Right.

This could be procrastination. If you’re procrastinating something, well, that’s that’s a form of self sabotage. But here’s where it gets really fun. Self-sabotage could also be something like migraines. What I’m finding nowadays is that people create a situation where they don’t feel good so that they can get themselves out of something they don’t want to do. And that’s a form of self-sabotage when you are just creating a negative situation with your mind and then you don’t have to do something instead of having a clear boundary and saying, look, I’m not interested in this and this isn’t the best thing for me. That’s one quick sentence that we can say instead of creating a train of situations.

And I find this a lot with my clients who get migraines is they are creating that situation for themselves. And so with self-sabotage, we want to make sure that we have something that is reminding ourself of our self-worth, and if we don’t, we need to look at who is surrounding us and get some new people in there. Because we sometimes need that support from outside of ourselves to remind us how amazing we are.

Ryann

Totally, and that is how powerful the brain is. I was watching this TikTok video the other day and this girl was like, you know, I had a thought the other day, our brain is so powerful that it allows us to do these crazy things when we think negative things or like those examples where the adrenaline kicks and people can like lift up a car to like save a child or something. And she’s like, why are we not using that to our advantage? Like we’re using that against ourselves and we have this like powerful tool right at literally at our fingertips and yeah, why are we not using that? And I think that that is, it’s just so interesting. So you talked a little bit in the beginning about limiting beliefs. What do you mean by that?

Marissa

Okay, so limiting beliefs are basically a wall that we run up against. So I like to think of life, we’re constantly jumping through hoops, but at one point the hoop just disappears and there’s a wall. And sometimes we need to lean on that wall and rest and recover, but other times we need to look at that wall as something that we can climb over and just move past. So limiting beliefs are something that we create in our head, a rule that we create in our head that we can’t move forward.

Ryann

Yeah, so interesting. And you talked a lot about how self-sabotage really stems from having no self-worth. So how could somebody begin to rebuild self-worth as they’re working through this?

Marissa

Yeah, absolutely great question. I like to use affirmations a ton for this. And this is where we have a short sentence that we say to yourself, and that we are very intentional and really process it and believe it when we’re saying. So this could be something, and I love this one, and my English people, you guys are gonna be like, ah, this isn’t right, but how the brain works, we need to say it this way. So the affirmation, me love all of me, is fantastic for people who have no self-worth because they need to come in and remind themselves that they are love and they love themselves. And so that one could be something you write on your mirror.

I love using Expo markers to write on mirrors so you can constantly change that affirmation. Another really cool thing with affirmations is we all have phones nowadays, right? We all have those beautiful notifications that pop up and usually create an ant afterwards. So let’s shift that and make a notification a positive and actually put our affirmations in our phone and have them pop up at certain times throughout the day to remind ourselves that we are loved, we are supported, we are worthy to be here and we can do hard things.

Ryann

Yeah, so what was that, me love all of me?

Marissa

Correct.

Ryann

So, for somebody who has a lot of negative self-talk towards their body, what are some Are there some positive affirmation examples that they could use to smash those or put in their phone or write on their mirror? Do you have anything that you like to use?

Marissa

So just saying the reason why that part of the body is there. So for example, if it’s your stomach, your stomach actually digests the food that you eat so that you can have nutrients in your brain. Your liver feeds your brain from your nutrients. So just looking at what is the fundamental of that part of your body and reminding yourself of that and being thankful that it functions for you without you having to do anything. That’s a gift. Not everyone has that all the time, especially if we get injured, it’s a gift to be here and we have to be present with that.

Ryann

Totally. And then this is, this is totally out of order but going back to when you were talking about self-sabotage, you said something about like struggling to figure out what you want when you don’t know what you want. And I feel like I’ve noticed that a lot and I experience that personally in the sense that our values make up who we are and kind of define what we want. And so when we strip away those values of I’m no longer basing everything off of my body and now I don’t know who I am when I’m not so focused on my body, how do you figure out what it is that you want or like do you have any exercises or any like questions that you could ask yourself when that is something that maybe you haven’t thought about for a long time, or you just literally don’t know?

Marissa

Yeah, that’s a great question. So how do you start dreaming, right? Is that kind of what you’re asking?

Ryann

Yeah.

Marissa

Yeah, awesome. So think back to when you were a kid. If you haven’t thought about it in a while, when did you stop thinking about it? And then go a little bit before that, when you still had that inner child happiness. And really ask yourself, what was I wanting to do? What made me happy? What were things that just made me giggle? And go and find those things again. So that could be something as getting yourself flowers. It could be something just like going and enjoying walking. Like simple things to remind yourself of happiness first and foremost.

And really bringing that joy inside of you. And then, this is one of the perks of our world nowadays, we’re in the technology era. Go and make sure your social media is filled with people who are positive, and find somebody who is doing something that you’re like, oh, that’s interesting, how do they do it? And then ask them, ask them questions, because I feel like nowadays, social media, we have it, and we can utilize it, because there are a lot of people who are putting out some positives and you wanna find the people so that you can ask those questions and see what they did because they might have a similar journey as you.

Ryann

So good, okay, I just have so many questions for you. So how do you use NLP to help with comparison?

Marissa

Okay, yeah, so if we’re comparing, we’ve put somebody up on a pedestal and that means we’re low on a Pedestal you’ve put somebody above you so we got to pull them off the pedestal and put ourselves back up Just because we’re all humans. We’re all Experiencing things in our head that are different, but at the end of the day, we’re all humans trying to figure out this journey together. So if somebody’s on a pedestal, that means you need to increase your self-worth, increase your growth mindset, and really pay attention to your environment and what you are allowing to be programming you. So just really looking at, okay, who am I happiest around, and then who am I not happiest around, and then going back. And it puts a lot of personal responsibility on us. Whenever we have any excuse, that means that excuse is a limiting belief that we are allowing into our life instead of just saying, hey, we need to prioritize ourselves first.

Ryann

Based on everything that you’ve shared and kind of the approach that you take, I know that you said in the beginning of this episode that we need to start using and thinking about our mind as a muscle and not a weight. Tell me more about that, what do you mean by that? I feel like that is just such a powerful statement.

Marissa

I love this one, I really love this thought process and it was something, so background on me, I’m a classically trained ballerina. That’s what I went to school for, I went to conservatory, I went to high school for it, that was my dream. And so using things as a muscle and growing a muscle is where my brain always goes to. How can I improve this part of my body in a positive way? And so when we started talking, when I started learning about NLP and mindset and how it can be a skill that we grow, I started looking at people use their mind as a weight. They use it as something that is holding them back. And in reality, we don’t use the majority of our minds, we kind of just numb ourselves out.

And so we want to shift that, we want to use it as a muscle and grow it, and find the space to expand it, because we all have the same 24 hours in the day. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. I said that one twice because it’s so important. And so what are you allowing in your day? What are you wanting in your day? And where’s the unevenness there? And really looking at, I really love this exercise. You basically get a piece of paper and you write down the time that you wake up and then in 15 minute increments, you write out what you’re doing throughout the day. And I can guarantee that people find a ton of time wasted at that point.

And so if we just start shifting that wasted time into a productive activity that supports ourselves and reminds ourselves of the joy and the gratitude that we can have, then we get to expand our mind and it’s no longer a paperweight. It’s actually something that we can dive into. And that’s where I really love meditation and breath work because our mind will always have something else to say. And it’s there to create us on a path of safety. And so, yeah, it’s going to pop up some negative things and making sure that we’re safe, but how can we find the joyous things within that and say, thank you, mind, for keeping us on track and running this amazing, beautiful body, but let’s try a new way that maybe somebody else is succeeding with and I want to try it. So that’s why you’re really like using it and thinking about it as a muscle instead of what controls us.

Ryann

I feel like if I did that exercise it would really it would really show you a lot of stuff like wow I have check an Instagram on there a lot or you know that would be that’s really powerful and it is true like how much time we waste that we’re not even aware of and I feel like that is where just bringing mindfulness into your day and kind of just like paying attention to what it is that you’re actually doing. That’s where the stuff gets real. So with that said, I feel like one of the hardest things about maybe switching to this using your mind as a muscle.

One thing that maybe keeps people into using it as a weight is holding on to fear. And especially the clients that I work with or the people that I connect with and something that I struggle with a lot is fear of gaining weight. Fear of what will happen if I gain weight, fear of the judgment if I gain weight. But the thing is, is to let go of food and body struggle, we have to let go of that fear of weight gain. So how can somebody begin to maybe start to overcome fear or let go of fear that aren’t necessarily serving us in a productive way

Marissa

Great question, so fear Let’s define fear when when we have it pop up. What exactly are we fear fearful of typically it’s failure but Let’s think back to when we were learning to walk. We we failed quite a lot, right? We because we didn’t have the muscle we did we didn’t know how to do it. We didn’t know how to balance. We had all of this craziness going on and we’re seeing all of these big, huge humans walking around and we’re just falling. And that’s kind of failing. But the thing is, we got up and did it again. And I really think that’s where it comes to the fear is, okay, we can be scared and still do hard things. We absolutely can be scared and do hard things.

So when we have that fear pop up, I like to use Mel Robbins theory of 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go, and go and do something right then. Go and do it. And you just kind of have to be scared and still do some things. But when there’s fear around weight gain, we have to make sure we’re sleeping a good amount. Like we have to make sure that we’re sleeping because if we’re not sleeping, then our body’s just going to hold on to all of the nutrients that it gets because it doesn’t know when it’s going to be able to heal and it doesn’t know when it’s going to be able to rest and recover. So anything that you put in the body is going to just be held onto as tight as possible.

So if we’re not taking care of ourselves, if we don’t have self-love routines in place that are non-negotiable, then our body can’t relax and repair. And so you are creating that situation that you’re scared of the weight gain, but you’re not actually allowing your body to process and support itself. So we gotta make sure that our brain isn’t telling us something that we’re creating more of a routine with. We’ve gotta start looking at how can we love ourselves so much that we’re getting enough sleep, we’re getting enough water, we’re eating good nutritious things, and we’re getting rid of those ants.

Ryann

Yes, yes, totally. So good. So you have four pillars of, what do you say, four pillars of health?

Marissa

Yes.

Ryann

And those are what?

Marissa

Structure, emotion, environment, nutrition, was that right?

Ryann

Yes. Okay, so tell me how did you come up with those and how do you believe that those work together?

Marissa

Okay, so from a young age, my parents are both doctors and they are different types of doctors. My dad’s a medical doctor and my mom’s a chiropractor. And so different areas of life, but at the same time, when you’re growing up in this situation and you get answers that aren’t great. So when I was younger, my sister got diagnosed with a very rare blood disorder, and the doctors came in and basically said, I’m not here to help you or give you any solution. I’m just here to prepare you for the worst. And so when you get that type of information, your body goes into shock.

And so we have to start thinking about what are other solutions that maybe isn’t in their reality. And that’s where the four pillars of health in my family started looking at, what can we do to support the body on a cellular level and to grow and to really start looking at what’s the next option? Because not everyone has that next option because they weren’t given that themselves. They just don’t know it themselves. So with that, with my mom being a chiropractor, structure, we have to make sure our body is in place. Our spine holds so much of how we do everything. And if you’re not taking care of your spine and you’re not taking care of your body and moving, it just can’t do all the things. It’s not possible.

So any time that we have any, when we were growing up, anytime we fell, I was talking about when you were learning to walk earlier, each of those falls, that can be a trauma that we hold onto in the body, which then goes to emotion. Okay, so we just are trying new things and learning new things, and we’re projecting forward, just growing up as a human, and here we are holding that emotional tie in our body. And so we gotta make sure we’re supporting our body and getting rid of those emotional traumas that could be held, while also giving the structure that we need.

And then with the environment, we started noticing that depending on what was going on, you would walk into an environment, and I’m sure you’ve experienced this when you walk into a room and you’re just like, ooh, something weird just happened here. I’m going to back out of this door. You know, there’s just those environments where you immediately know I’m not safe or something weird just went on and I don’t need to be here. And so really making sure that all of the environment is supporting the body and then going a step further, what is going on in our home environment that we can make sure is supporting our body so there’s no toxins in there and that’s where I talk about ditching and switching.

Ditching toxins that are really damaging the body and putting us in a stress response and then switching to a clean product that is supporting ourself. And then nutrition, if we’re not fueling ourselves with nutritious real whole foods, how are we expecting our body to function? Because it, what goes in is truly who we are. And we have to make sure it’s just so clean and supportive to the body so that it can do all of these things. And that’s really where the four pillars came from, is from supporting our family and growing up in that situation. And then it’s so funny how things just come to you. So the four pillars, structure, motion, environment, and nutrition, to make sure that you’re fully seen. That’s the acronym for it, seen. What does it feel like to be seen? And do we allow ourselves to be seen? And are we standing in the back of the room when we walk into a room? Or do we push ourselves forward? And what is the difference between those two people?

The ones that hide in the back of the rooms and the ones that walk up and kind of change the environment. And how can you make sure that you are doing that in a positive way for yourself and also for the people around you? So that’s the four pillars.

Ryann

Oh my gosh. And I really like how they are so different, but they kind of make up you know all the areas of life and all the things that kind of come in to promote this kind of overall ideal of health and I think it’s so important to acknowledge all these different pieces of health and I always I always think about like when I’m feeling what when I am having one of these days where I’m feeling just like blah it’s usually there’s one thing, whether it is, you know, the nutrition or the structure or, you know, the weather is bad, the environment, you know what I mean? It’s all these different things that go into play. And I feel like when we have an understanding of all these different ideals, it helps us really understand what’s going on when we have one of those days where we’re feeling just blah.

Marissa

Yeah, absolutely. And it gives right there, back to NLP and really creating that growth mindset, it gives you a framework to look at, OK, this isn’t how I want to feel. What did I do that created this situation? And how do I make sure I don’t do that again? And then also, on the flip side of that, having tools to pull yourself out of that mindset and out of that blah feeling because we all have those days. There’s no way that we can be on the top of the top all the time because then if we did, we wouldn’t think that it was the tops of the top. We have to have those low moments so that when we’re on top, we know we’re on top, right?

Ryann

Yeah. So to wrap up this episode, any words of wisdom for somebody who is having a bad day, they really can’t delete these negative thoughts. I mean, you seem very positive and I truly believe positivity is a choice, but sometimes it’s hard. And so any words of wisdom, words of advice, or things that somebody can do if they’re just having a bad day where their mind is just like in a not a good place.

Marissa

Yeah, absolutely. Drink water. Definitely increase your water. That is a side that your body isn’t processing correctly if we’re stuck in that negative thought. So let’s drink some water so we can flush it out of our body. And then also move. I really, really think that movement is important and it doesn’t have to be something crazy. It could just be like a little wiggle and you’re good. It could be skipping. If you notice, people can’t be upset and skip at the same time. So just skip up and down your hallway. Or maybe it’s you put on a podcast. Maybe it’s you have a coach. You get a coach.

I know that some people just really are stuck in that negative mindset. And that’s the greatest part of you and I working with people is that you can have a coach. I know I have a coach and it has been game changer for me because yes, I present myself as a positive person, but that’s because I choose that. It’s a daily choice. I wake up and say, no, I am going to be happy today. And I make sure that everything that I do throughout that time that I wake up, the time that I go to sleep, I’m constantly choosing yes. And then also having a gratitude practice. As soon as you lay your head down at night, instead of going through all the negative ants of the day, we actually say three things that we’re grateful for, three things that we’re proud of ourselves for, for accomplishing that day. So those would be my tips.

Ryann

Love it. Thank you so much for all of that. Holy cow. I just like feel like I just had the best Lesson ever that was so good. And I feel like just yeah something that you can never know too much about something that you never hear enough and Yeah, so good. Thank you. So where can everybody find you?

Marissa

Yeah, Instagram is my jam. So I’m Marissa Marsh underscore on Instagram so that’s M-A-R-I-S-S-A M-A-R-S-H underscore and that would be the best place and go ahead and like reach out say hi I love chatting with people and that’s the best place to find me.

Ryann

So before we log off just for everybody to get to know you a little bit better than the mindset girl. I have a list of some speed round questions that have nothing to do with that, just for everybody to get to know you a little bit better. So just tell me first thing that comes to mind.

Marissa

Oh, fun. Okay.

Ryann

What is your nut butter of choice?

Marissa

Cashew butter.

Ryann

Oh my god, nobody has said that yet.

Marissa

I love cashew butter. It’s different and fun.

Ryann

What do you put it on or anything?

Marissa

I usually just do spoonfuls. That’s my favorite thing to do.

Ryann

Respect that. Respect that. What is the craziest way you’ve ever been injured, or maybe just the dumbest way you’ve ever been injured?

Marissa

Yeah, so this is a good one. I told you I’m a classically trained dancer. My very first day of conservatory school, we have eight hours of auditions that we’re going through. And I was crushing it. It was feeling fantastic. I had 15 minutes left in the last class of the day. And I am jumping across the floor. So if you aren’t aware of dance classes, the big last thing that you do is you do these huge jumps across the floor. So I’m jumping, my legs are out on either side of me, and this was my jam. Like, I am the jumper. I trained for it. I could jump higher than everyone else.

I could stay in the air longer than everyone else. So I’m in the air, I’m flying, I have the biggest smile on my face, I am so proud of myself, and I look and see this girl step out of line, and I’m gonna hit her in the face with my foot. And I’m like, hmm, that’s not really the best way that I want to introduce myself as the girl who kicked the other girl in the face on the first day of school. So I’m midair. This is all happening within, like, two seconds, of course. But all of these things are spinning in my head. And I decide that I’m going to try to spin this jump midair instead of hitting her in the face.

And when I landed, my big toe went one way, my rest of the foot went the other way, I dislocated my big toe, my arch tore the tendons next to it, and that really was the craziest experience of my life. I was in the ER the next day and they said, hey, this is the end of your dance career. And I looked at them, just like I told you earlier, and I was like, you have the wrong file. We’re going to reverse this conversation and you’re going to try again. And he said, no, you’re going to be in a boot for about eight months on crutches, and then we’ll teach you how to walk again. And I got up and I left and I said, that’s not my reality. I know the body works faster than that. And I set up my own protocols and within four months I was back to dancing. So that’s the craziest story. Injury.

Ryann

I mean, the power of the mind right there.

Marissa

Exactly, exactly.

Ryann

What is a snack combination that you love but somebody else would think is weird?

Marissa

Okay, I literally was just eating this for lunch. It’s deviled eggs with turkey wrapped around it. That’s it. Quick protein, easy to do, and just super strange though, right?

Ryann

Yeah, yeah, definitely. I’ll have to try that. If somebody wrote a book about your life, what would the title be?

Marissa

Somebody wrote a book about my life, what would the title be?

Ryann

Yeah.

Marissa

Classic.

Ryann

What is a random fact that somebody would never guess about you?

Marissa

I grew up on a horse farm.

Ryann

Oh my gosh.

Marissa

Yeah. So, yeah, you would never guess.

Ryann

Yep. Would you rather have somebody cook or clean for you?

Marissa

Cook. Oh my goodness. Please come cook for me.

Ryann

What is a tradition your family had when you were growing up, or a tradition that you have now, if that wasn’t the case.

Marissa

Yeah, so at dinner every night, we had to say one thing that we were grateful for. And there was no technology allowed and we would sit there until everyone came up with something and sometimes that meant sitting there an extra two hours because, you know, stubborn myself. It can be a little stubborn in those teenage years, but I feel like that was just such an important thing and I still do that all the time.

Ryann

Oh my gosh, that’s a good one. I really like that. And if you were a coffee drink, what would you be and why?

Marissa

Coffee is my favorite ever, so I like to make my fancy coffee and it’s a coconut milk latte with mint CBD in it.

Ryann

Ooh, yum! So good! Thank you so much again for all of that, Marissa. I so appreciate you taking the time and for everybody who is listening, all of Marissa’s socials and good stuff will be in the show notes linked below and go find her. She is a walking book.

Marissa

Thank you so much. I had so much fun being here with you and talking about all these things. I find that the more we talk about it, the more we find new tools to use between each other and work with other clients. So I just really appreciate it. And for everyone listening, I am so excited to meet you and chat with you over in the Instagram world.