Let’s talk about managing all the emotions that come with your postpartum body. Because wow—it’s a lot. One day you’re pregnant, and then suddenly, you’re not, and your body feels like this unfamiliar place you’re living in. Everything has changed, from your shape to how you feel about yourself, and then there’s the mental load of processing it all on top of taking care of your baby. It’s a whirlwind.

It’s Okay to Feel All the Things

First, I just want to acknowledge that it’s completely okay to feel all the things about your postpartum body. Yes, even not liking it! Society tends to push this idea that you should only be filled with awe and gratitude for your body after giving birth, like you’re not allowed to feel frustrated or upset about how it’s changed. But here’s the truth: feeling uncomfortable or unhappy with how your body looks now doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful for what your body did. Those two things can exist at the same time.

We don’t talk about this enough, but you’re not alone if you’ve had thoughts like, “I don’t recognize myself” or “I feel so disconnected from my body.” These thoughts are normal, even though they’re often kept in the shadows because of that pressure to only feel gratitude. It’s okay to look in the mirror and not feel the way you used to. It doesn’t make you shallow or vain; it just makes you human.

Validating What You’re Feeling Is Real

The messaging around the postpartum body can be tricky. You’ve got people telling you, “But look at what your body just did! You grew a human! Be proud!” And while yes, it’s true that your body did something incredible, that doesn’t mean you can’t also feel frustrated by the physical changes that came along with it. It doesn’t mean you have to love every stretch mark or embrace the softness around your belly right away. It’s a process—both physically and mentally.

And maybe, some days, you do feel that sense of awe and pride. Like, “Wow, my body created life. That’s amazing!” And on other days, you might look in the mirror and feel disconnected or upset. One moment you’re marveling at what your body did, and the next, you’re mourning the body you had before. That rollercoaster of emotions is so normal, even if no one’s really talking about it.

This isn’t about trying to rush back to some “pre-baby” version of yourself. That version might not even exist anymore—and that’s okay. It’s about navigating the complex emotions that come with stepping into this new chapter, both physically and emotionally. Your body has changed, but you’re not expected to love those changes overnight. It’s about giving yourself permission to feel those emotions without the guilt.

You’re allowed to grieve your pre-baby body while also appreciating the new one for what it’s done. It doesn’t have to be one or the other—it can be both.

The Pressure to Bounce Back Is Unreal

There’s this wild pressure we put on ourselves (or that society throws at us) to “bounce back” after having a baby, right? Like, we’re supposed to just snap back into our old body, as if nine months of growing a human didn’t just happen. But let’s be real for a second—your body went through so much. Your organs literally moved around to make room for that baby. Your skin stretched, your hormones went haywire, and your body shifted in ways you couldn’t even predict. And yet, the message we get from all directions is: “Bounce back, as if nothing ever changed.” It’s not just unrealistic, it’s completely unfair.

You’ve probably seen it all over social media, right? Celebrities showing off their “post-baby bodies” weeks, if not days, after giving birth, making it look effortless. But what we don’t see is the full picture—personal trainers, nutritionists, and maybe even unhealthy pressure behind the scenes. It creates this distorted idea that our bodies should just snap back into place, like we’re supposed to be untouched by the process of pregnancy and birth.

Why the Idea of “Bouncing Back” Is Unfair

If you’ve felt like a failure because your body isn’t “bouncing back,” I want you to hear this: You’re not failing. Your body isn’t supposed to “bounce back” to some previous version of itself, because that body didn’t go through what this one did. It didn’t just create life. It didn’t just endure the physical, emotional, and mental challenges of pregnancy and childbirth. Expecting your body to look or feel the same is like expecting a flower to go back to being a seed—it doesn’t work like that.

If you’re feeling frustrated, or like your body has let you down because it’s not bouncing back quickly enough, give yourself some grace. Your body is healing, and healing doesn’t have a timeline. Some bodies might return to a shape that’s close to pre-pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean they haven’t changed. And others might settle into a completely different version, and that’s okay too. Every body is different. The pressure to “bounce back” is nothing but noise that takes away from the incredible thing your body has just done.

Instead of trying to erase the evidence of what your body went through, what if we shifted our focus to nurturing it, allowing it to rest, heal, and adapt in its own time? You deserve that kind of compassion. You’ve already done something incredible—your body deserves the space and grace to adjust, in whatever timeline you need, not society’s.

Body Changes Are Hard—And That’s Okay

You might feel like your body isn’t your own anymore. Maybe your hips are wider, your belly is softer, or your breasts feel different. It’s like you woke up in a body that doesn’t quite feel familiar, and that’s tough. All of that is normal, and it’s okay to grieve the body you had before pregnancy. Just because you’re grateful for what your body did, doesn’t mean you have to love every single change right away. Sometimes, you just need space to feel frustrated without feeling guilty about it.

Resentment Toward Your Partner Is Normal

Let’s talk about something else that’s super common but doesn’t get discussed enough—resentment toward your partner. Because while your body has gone through a complete transformation, your partner’s body likely hasn’t changed at all. That contrast can stir up some serious emotions, and guess what? That’s normal, too. Maybe you feel a little jealous or even angry that they got to skip the body changes, and now you’re left dealing with this new version of yourself. It’s okay to feel this. It doesn’t make you a bad partner, and it doesn’t mean you love them any less—it just means you’re human, and you’re processing some big changes.

It’s Okay to Grieve Your Pre-Baby Body

It’s also worth mentioning that there’s this huge expectation for moms to instantly embrace their postpartum bodies with nothing but pride because of what their bodies accomplished. And while yes, what your body did was amazing, that doesn’t automatically erase the discomfort, frustration, or even resentment you might feel. You can be grateful for what your body went through and still feel sad about the changes at the same time.

This is where we have to give ourselves a little grace. It’s not about forcing yourself to love every part of your body right now. Honestly, you don’t have to love your postpartum body every minute of the day to be on a healthy journey. It’s about letting yourself feel what you feel and working on finding a middle ground where you can accept your body as it is today—even if it’s not where you want it to be yet.

Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it’s more about making peace with where you are right now, knowing that you can still work towards feeling more connected with your body over time. It’s okay to take your time. Give yourself permission to be patient with the process.

What to Do When You’re Having Tough Body Days

Let’s talk about those tough body days—the ones where you feel totally off, like your body isn’t quite yours. Maybe your favorite clothes don’t fit like they used to, or you catch a glimpse in the mirror and feel frustration. These days can hit hard, but you don’t have to sit in that discomfort all day. There are things you can do to ease the tension and get through these moments with more grace and compassion for yourself.

Be Gentle with Yourself

First, allow yourself to not be okay with your body sometimes. This is normal, and it doesn’t make you ungrateful for what your body has done. On those tough days, instead of focusing on what you don’t like, practice some kindness. Say to yourself, “Today is tough, but it’s just one day.” Acknowledge the feelings without letting them take over. This simple act of self-compassion can take the pressure off and help you feel less stuck.

Wear Something That Feels Good

Starting with your undergarments!!! I’m not kidding. Go ahead and invest in bras and underwear that feel comfortable—and maybe even make you feel sexy. Why not? Then, when it comes to clothes, ditch the stuff that feels too tight or makes you uncomfortable. It’s time to give yourself permission to wear clothes that fit your current body, not the body you had pre-baby. If you’re hesitant to buy new clothes because your body is still changing, try renting from companies like Nuuly. Wearing clothes that actually fit this version of you can make a huge difference in how you feel.

Move in a Way That Feels Good

Movement is powerful on tough body days, but it doesn’t have to be a punishing workout. Instead, think about how you can move in a way that feels good—whether it’s taking a walk, stretching, doing yoga, or dancing around your living room. After giving so much to your baby, take this time as a moment for you. Even small bursts of movement can boost your mood and help you reconnect with your body. It’s not about changing your body; it’s about appreciating what it can do.

Unfollow and Mute

Social media can be brutal when you’re not feeling great about your body. If scrolling through your feed makes you feel worse, it’s time to hit “unfollow” or “mute” on those accounts that push unrealistic body expectations. Instead, fill your feed with empowering, real content—accounts that make you feel seen, not ones that fuel comparison. Curating your social media to fit where you’re at can be a huge mental health booster.

Talk It Out

Sometimes, just getting your feelings out can be a game-changer. Talk to a friend, partner, or even a support group about what you’re going through. Sometimes, saying something like, “I’m having a rough day with my body today,” can feel like a release. You don’t have to navigate tough body days alone. Remember, you’re not the only one feeling this way, and your emotions are valid. Let someone hold space for you.

Don’t Diet—Please

When you’re having a tough body day, it can be tempting to think, “Maybe I should just start a diet.” But I’m here to tell you—don’t do it. Dieting, especially in a vulnerable postpartum state, can push you into a cycle of restriction and guilt. It doesn’t address the real feelings you’re having about your body; it only adds more pressure. Instead, focus on nourishing your body in ways that feel good and leave dieting out of the picture. Trust me, your body doesn’t need that kind of punishment—it needs care.

Remember: It’s a Process

Navigating tough body days is part of the postpartum journey. You’re not supposed to have it all figured out or feel amazing about your body every day. Some days will feel harder than others, and that’s okay. The key is to give yourself grace, to be gentle, and to remember that this process has no deadline. It’s not about waking up one day and suddenly loving every part of your body—it’s about being kind to yourself, one day at a time.

You’re not alone in feeling like this. It’s okay if you’re not in love with every change right now. Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling, and remember that every small act of kindness towards yourself is a step toward healing.