So, you’ve got someone in your life who’s struggling with binge eating, and you’re not quite sure how to help. First of all, let me just say this: you’re already taking the right step by wanting to understand more. Binge eating is one of those things that people don’t really talk about openly, and it can feel lonely for the person going through it. But knowing you’re in their corner can make a world of difference. Let’s dive into what binge eating actually is, what it’s not, and how you can support them through this.

What Binge Eating Really Is

Binge eating isn’t just “overeating” once in a while. It’s not the same as those nights where you get carried away with pizza or go a little overboard on dessert at a party. Binge eating is a pattern of eating large amounts of food, often quickly and in secret, while feeling completely out of control. It’s like there’s this switch that flips, and once it’s on, it feels impossible to stop.

After a binge, there’s usually a wave of guilt, shame, and sometimes even physical discomfort. It’s not a fun or lighthearted thing—there’s a lot of pain and self-criticism wrapped up in those moments. And often, it’s not even about the food itself. It’s about trying to cope with emotions, stress, loneliness, or a feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Food becomes a way to numb those feelings or fill a void, even though the relief it brings is only temporary.

Misconceptions About Binge Eating (and the Truth)

Let’s clear up a few things, because there’s a lot of misunderstanding out there about binge eating.

Misconception #1: “They just lack willpower.”

This is a big one, and it’s just not true. Binge eating isn’t about willpower; it’s about a complex relationship with food and emotions. When someone is stuck in this cycle, it’s not because they’re lazy or not trying hard enough. It’s because there are deeper struggles going on, like emotional pain, trauma, or even physical hunger from restrictive dieting.

Misconception #2: “They Just Need to Stop Buying Those Foods.”

This is one of those well-meaning suggestions that misses the mark. It’s not as simple as just keeping certain foods out of the house. Binge eating isn’t about access to specific foods; it’s about the emotional and psychological relationship with those foods. When certain foods are off-limits or kept out of the house, it can actually make them more tempting. It’s that “forbidden fruit” effect—when you tell yourself you can’t have something, it suddenly becomes all you can think about.

For someone struggling with binge eating, the urge to binge often isn’t about whether or not those foods are in the cupboard. It’s about the feelings underneath—stress, loneliness, anxiety—that they’re trying to cope with. And the truth is, even if those foods aren’t in the house, the feelings are still there. Removing the foods doesn’t address the root of the problem; it just makes them feel more out of control when they do encounter those foods somewhere else.

Misconception #3: “They Just Love to Eat.”

Oh man, if only it were that simple, right? The idea that someone struggling with binge eating just “loves food too much” is not only wrong but can also be really hurtful. Binge eating is not about having an uncontrollable appetite or being obsessed with food. In fact, many people who struggle with binge eating don’t enjoy the experience. The eating often happens quickly, almost mindlessly, and is followed by feelings of regret, shame, and discomfort. It’s not about savoring a delicious meal; it’s about using food to cope with feelings that feel too big to handle.

Sure, food can bring comfort in the moment, but that comfort is temporary. And after the binge, there’s often a wave of emotional pain that hits even harder. Binge eating isn’t about loving food; it’s about trying to fill a void, soothe anxiety, or escape difficult emotions. It’s a response to emotional distress, not a reflection of their feelings toward food itself. So, assuming that they just love to eat can feel invalidating and completely misses the deeper struggles they’re facing.

How to Support Someone with Binge Eating

So, what can you do to help? Let’s get into some practical tips that can actually make a difference.

1. Listen Without Judgment

This might sound simple, but it’s huge. If your loved one opens up to you about their struggles with binge eating, the best thing you can do is listen. Let them share without jumping in with advice or trying to fix it. Just being there, listening, and saying, “I’m here for you, I’m sorry you’re going through this,” can mean so much. It’s about creating a safe space where they feel seen and heard.

2. Avoid Diet Talk and Weight Comments

I know it can feel natural to want to encourage them to eat “healthier” or to cheer them on if they lose weight, but this can actually be triggering. Comments about food, diets, or even their body size can add to the pressure they’re already feeling. Instead, focus on how they’re feeling overall. Ask questions like, “How have you been feeling emotionally?” or “What’s been on your mind lately?” It’s about showing interest in them as a person, not just their eating habits.

3. Encourage Professional Help

This one can be tricky because it’s not always easy for someone to reach out for help. But let them know that it’s okay to seek support from a therapist or a coach who specializes in disordered eating. Sometimes, just knowing that you support them in seeking help can make them feel less alone. It’s not about pushing them to get better faster—it’s about letting them know that it’s okay to need support.

You can say something like, “I know this is hard, and I want you to know that it’s okay to reach out for help when you’re ready. I’ll be here no matter what you decide.” It’s that balance between being supportive without making them feel pressured.

4. Focus on Connection, Not Control

Remember, binge eating often stems from feelings of loneliness or emotional pain. So, focusing on building a deeper connection with your loved one can be a huge help. Spend time together doing things that have nothing to do with food—watch a movie, go for a walk, try a new hobby together. It’s about helping them feel like they’re not alone in this, that they don’t have to carry the weight of their struggles by themselves.

5. Be Patient and Compassionate

Recovery from binge eating is not a straight line. There are ups and downs, and it’s going to take time. Try to be patient with their process, even if it seems slow or frustrating. Remind them that they are not defined by their binge eating, and that they deserve kindness and compassion, especially from themselves. Sometimes, just hearing you say, “You’re doing your best, and that’s enough,” can make all the difference.

6. Avoid Playing the “Food Police”

It’s tempting to want to monitor what they’re eating or try to keep certain foods out of the house, but that can actually make things worse. It can make your loved one feel like they’re being watched or judged, which can add to the shame they might already feel. Instead, focus on offering support and love, no matter what. Trust that they’re working through this in their own time, in their own way.

Let Them Know They’re Not Alone

At the end of the day, the most important thing you can do is remind your loved one that they don’t have to go through this alone. Let them know that their struggles don’t make them any less worthy of love and that you’re there for them, no matter what. Sometimes, just knowing that someone cares, that someone believes in their ability to heal, can be a powerful step toward recovery.

This journey isn’t easy—for them or for you. But with patience, understanding, and a whole lot of compassion, you can be a light in their darkness. And that? That’s a pretty incredible thing to give someone.

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Must Read Books To Learn More 

Just so you know, I do review everything I recommend. When you buy through links on this page, we may earn a commission.

Intuitive Eating by Elise Resch and Evelyn Tribole 

When it was first published, Intuitive Eating was revolutionary in its anti-dieting approach. The authors, both prominent health professionals in the field of nutrition and eating disorders, urge readers to embrace the goal of developing body positivity and reconnecting with one’s internal wisdom about eating―to unlearn everything they were taught about calorie-counting and other aspects of diet culture and to learn about the harm of weight stigma.

Health At Every Size by Lindo Bacon

Fat isn’t the problem. Dieting is the problem. A society that rejects anyone whose body shape or size doesn’t match an impossible ideal is the problem. A medical establishment that equates “thin” with “healthy” is the problem. The solution? Health at Every Size. Tune in to your body’s expert guidance. Find the joy in movement. Eat what you want, when you want, choosing pleasurable foods that help you to feel good. You too can feel great in your body right now—and Health at Every Size will show you how.

Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison

In Anti-Diet, Christy Harrison takes on diet culture and the multi-billion-dollar industries that profit from it, exposing all the ways it robs people of their time, money, health, and happiness. It will turn what you think you know about health and wellness upside down, as Harrison explores the history of diet culture, how it’s infiltrated the health and wellness world, how to recognize it in all its sneaky forms, and how letting go of efforts to lose weight or eat “perfectly” actually helps to improve people’s health—no matter their size. Drawing on scientific research, personal experience, and stories from patients and colleagues, Anti-Diet provides a radical alternative to diet culture, and helps readers reclaim their bodies, minds, and lives so they can focus on the things that truly matter.

Just Eat It by Laura Thomas

With a perfect blend of scientific expertise and relatable anecdotes, the author dismantles societal myths around food and body image. Through practical advice, self-reflection exercises, and a touch of humor, Thomas equips readers with the tools to break free from the cycle of diet culture, promoting self-love and nourishment. This book is an essential companion for anyone seeking to redefine their approach to food, fostering a positive and sustainable lifestyle.