Oh, stress eating. We all do it, don’t we? And honestly, is it any wonder? I mean, just look around—everyone is stressed out! It’s become this societal norm where we’re all stuck in this endless loop of do more, achieve more, be more. And honestly, I’ve been right there with you, feeling that constant push, especially since becoming a mom. Like, I can’t even count the number of times I’ve felt guilty for wanting to rest. Oh, you’re tired? Better use that time to clean or fold laundry. It’s like I’ve got this little voice in my head constantly nagging, “Are you being productive enough?”

Why Food Becomes the Go-To Comfort

And yeah, that kind of pressure? It builds up. It’s no surprise that stress hits hard, and when it does, food often swoops in as the ultimate comfort. I know you know what I’m talking about—those moments when the stress is bubbling over, and suddenly, that bag of chips or extra slice of pizza seems like it might just be the solution to all life’s problems.

But here’s the thing: this isn’t about demonizing stress eating. I’m not here with a strict list of rules or a plan to banish stress eating forever. Let’s get this out of the way: it’s not about the food. Yep, you heard me—it’s not about the food. And if you’ve been hanging out with me for a while, you know I’m going to say it again because it’s that important.

It’s Not About the Food: What’s Really Going On?

What I mean is, eating in response to emotions (a.k.a. stress eating) isn’t the real issue. Sure, grabbing a cookie when you’re feeling overwhelmed might not be the healthiest habit, but the cookie isn’t the problem. The problem is that stress you’re carrying around like a backpack full of bricks. It’s that constant hum of “gotta do this, gotta do that” in your head. And when food becomes your go-to for relief, it’s not because you’re weak or lacking willpower—it’s because it’s easy, familiar, and, hey, it works…for about ten seconds.

The Stress Eating Cycle: Why It Feels Good…Until It Doesn’t

And that’s the kicker, right? Those first ten seconds of taking a bite—it feels like relief, like a deep breath. But then, the stress is still there, looming like a shadow, and now it’s joined by guilt or shame for turning to food again. And suddenly, it’s a cycle. Food becomes that quick fix, that little dopamine hit, but nothing actually changes underneath. The stress? Still there.

How to Shift the Focus from Food to What’s Really Stressing You

So, what if instead of focusing on not eating when stressed, we dig a little deeper? What if we look at what’s actually making you feel stressed in the first place?

Let’s take a beat here—because I know you’re probably thinking, Okay, Ryann, but how do I actually DO that? It starts with acknowledging the stress for what it is, not as something you need to fix with a snack but as something that’s signaling that something in your life needs attention.

Step 1: Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

Seriously, where are you making things harder than they need to be? High achievers and perfectionists, this is your time to shine (or, well, not shine so hard). Like, do you really need to make a gourmet meal every night, or would a rotisserie chicken with boxed mac and cheese and frozen veggies do just fine? (Spoiler: It’s delicious and way less work.) Are you saying yes to things you don’t really want to do? Are you doing things that your partner, or your kids, or even a good old laundry service could help with?

Step 2: Start Saying No

I mean it—saying “no” is like reclaiming a tiny piece of your sanity. And it’s hard, I know. But every time you say no to something you don’t actually want to do, you’re saying yes to yourself. Maybe it’s yes to a little extra time with your kids, or yes to an afternoon nap, or yes to finally getting through that Netflix show you’ve been dying to binge. It’s your time—you deserve to keep some of it for yourself.

Step 3: Focus on What You Can Control

Life is full of stressors we can’t control, like a demanding job or unpredictable family stuff. But within that chaos, there are little things you can control—like how you prioritize your time, how you care for your body, and what you let into your day. These might sound small, but they add up. Like, I’m talking about squeezing in those little moments of joy—a few minutes of fresh air, a cuddle with your dog, or just sipping your morning coffee in peace. These moments fill your cup back up so that you’re not running on empty all the time.

It’s Not About Finding Another Coping Mechanism

And sure, food might still be there as an option, but it’s not the only option. It’s one tool in a big ol’ toolbox. The trick is to have other tools ready to reach for—things that help you actually deal with the stress, not just numb it for a few moments.

And when you hit that point where you’re thinking, Why am I stress eating? ask yourself this instead: How am I handling my stress? What do I really need right now? It’s not about fighting yourself on the food. It’s about understanding what’s going on underneath it all.

A Final Thought: It’s About the Stress, Not the Food

So, next time you find yourself elbow-deep in a bag of chips after a long day, remember this: It’s not about the chips. It’s about the stress. And you’ve got way more tools than you realize to handle it.