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Connect with Lisa

📲 Instagram: @AdventuresandAnxiety

🖥 Website: adventuresandanxiety.com

Episode Transcript

Ryann

Welcome! I’m so excited to have Lisa here, otherwise known as Adventures in Anxiety, to the Coffee Dox Therapy podcast.

Lisa

I am so excited to be here. Thank you for having me.

Ryann

Of course. So I just felt like it would be a great kind of starting point for us to hear kind of about who you are, what your story is, and who really is the girl behind Adventures in Anxiety. adventures and anxiety?

Lisa

Well I’m Lisa as you said and I am born and raised in Florida so I’m a Florida girl and I have lived with generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder for as long as I can remember to be honest with you. It kind of hit its peak about 10 years ago in my life and I was at a point where I either worked and learned and did the work to get better, or I didn’t know if I could live like that anymore, to be honest. And so I started going to therapy, I started doing my research, I asked so many questions, I learned about nutrition and all the things, and I’m finally in a place where I can confidently in life, even though I will always and have always had anxiety.

And I started the Adventures in Anxiety platform truthfully two years ago on World Mental Health Day. I was like, I want to tell my story. Like, I want to tell my story. And the response is out of control. It’s just so crazy to know how many people deal with this, how many people struggle with this. And so I started sharing everything I’ve learned, sharing my experience, and I’m honored, honored to be able to do that as my passion project every day.

Ryann

I love that. And I also love just how you come about it in this almost like way of like, yeah, I have anxiety and like, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. And I also like that you kind of talk about how it is something that never really goes away because I think a common misconception is, what can I do to make this anxiety go away? And it’s never that it actually ever completely goes away, you just get better at managing it. So like by learning the skills and going to therapy and working through it, kind of like what you said, like it can be something that is totally, totally manageable and I think that you do such a good job at showing that on your platform.

Lisa

Thank you. You know, when I started Adventures in Anxiety, my little like tagline or whatever you want to call it was, you know, I’m here to help you beat anxiety or the anxiety beating girl and all the things like that. And while I can say I’ve overcome the darkest times, hopefully, that I’ve had to go through with my mental illnesses that I deal with, it’s always going to be part of me, right? So I changed my little bio and now it says, you know, I’m here to help you thrive and to show you that you can thrive, even if you’re an anxious person, because truthfully, there are so many anxious people out there and it’s not always a bad thing.

Ryann

And yes on the thrive part, okay, so I want to back up a little bit So for those who are listening that are kind of questioning, I don’t know if I have anxiety Or you know, I feel like I might have anxiety but when When is it something that I need to like not necessarily be concerned about or when is it something that I need to kind of? Maybe address so like what did generalized anxiety disorder look like in your life? Like, how did it present itself?

Lisa

So, like I just said before, you know, not all anxiety is bad. Most people have a level of anxiety or worry or preparedness. You know, there’s a lot of facets of anxiety. But when it starts to consume you on a day-to-day basis for a long period of time, I don’t know exactly what the, you know, medical diagnosis is. But when I realized that I needed to seek help was when I could feel anxiety controlling my every day for months. And everything I was doing, going for a run or crying or eventually having a panic attack, which is what it turned into, nothing was changing how I was feeling.

These thoughts, I was spiraling about everything. I had this constant tightness in my chest. I was second guessing, third guessing, fourth guessing everything that was coming out of my mouth and I couldn’t live like that. And it’s so funny. I originally went to the doctor because I’m like, there’s something wrong with me. I think I’m dying. Like seriously, I mean, it’s physical, right? And then he was like, you know what? I recommend you talk to a therapist.” And I went to a therapist and she sat me down and she said, everything you’re describing sounds like anxiety and it is so common. And just her voice and her saying that, like, I’m not dying or, you know, I’m not going crazy or there, this is something we can work with, like giving me hope and just giving me that relief, like, it forever changed me, you know?

So it really hit a point for me where it was not only mental, but it was physical and it was debilitating. And I would say again, I mean, it’s 2020. I think a lot of people are dealing with some level of anxiety or sadness or extreme worry or extreme stress. I mean, I think it’s safe to say that a lot of us are. But if it starts to consume you day in and day out, and it’s something you’re not able to overcome without finding the tools to do so. That’s when you’ve got to make a change. You’ve got to ask the questions. You’ve got to do the work.

Ryann

And I think it is, too, so important to recognize the fact that asking for help and going to a therapist is totally okay, and sometimes that’s what we need and you wrote this blog article about kind of you researching a therapist that was right for you. So when you decided, okay, therapy is something that I feel like I need and I wanna do, what were the next steps you took to finding a therapist that you felt like was the right fit for you?

Lisa

That’s a great question. Finding the right therapist is literally like dating. But honestly, I felt personally, I felt more comfortable with a female. Again, everyone is different, whatever they decide, but you can literally look up therapists, which is what I did. I looked up therapists, their specialties, like what do they specialize in? I wanted someone who specialized in anxiety and panic attacks because that’s what was really bad for me at the time. And again, I felt more comfortable leaning on a female, a woman. I just did. That’s where I was.

So I kind of narrowed it down and I checked my insurance. Well, at the time I was on my parents insurance to see like who was in my quote-unquote network. And I just kind of went from there. And I’m not gonna lie, I saw three, it was my third therapist I had an appointment with that I actually ended up sticking with and staying for like a year plus. You know, it took me three tries. Like the first time I went to therapy was actually just like a one-time thing at the counseling center at the college I went to. And she was great, but I needed like ongoing help and she just didn’t have the capacity for that.

So I went to another one and to me, I just didn’t feel as comfortable as I should. And then the third one, I remember her name to this day, her name was Jocelyn, and she changed my life. And I just felt so safe with her. And she just, she was what I needed. She pushed me when I needed it. She was softer and kind when I needed it. She answered the bajillion questions I had to do the research. I believe psychology today is the website I use to research the specialties of certain therapists. And yeah, it took some time. Again, you’ve got to be dedicated to really finding the therapist that’s going to make a difference in your life.

Ryann

Yeah. And I love that you compare it to dating because it totally is. And I think it’s important to also recognize, like, just like you didn’t do, like, you don’t have to settle. Like, just because, and obviously, it’s kind of a buzzkill sometimes when you have that first session, and you’ve laid out your story, and you’re like, oh my gosh, I can’t imagine doing that again. But at the same time, like, when you’ve found the right therapist that is, like, for you, and this is another reason why, like, a lot of people do consultations to see like, hey, would we work well together?

Because it is kind of like, that that perfect fit where you feel like you’re safe, you’re comfortable, but also being pushed, you know, at the end of the day, it’s about you and you feeling good about what you’re doing and who you’re talking to. And yeah, it doesn’t have to be that first person. So I love that you share that because I know a lot of people are like, okay, well this is my therapist or they say like, I had, I went to therapy and it didn’t work for me.

Lisa

Yeah, I was just gonna say, I was literally, you took the words out of my mouth. I have many friends and people in my life who like, I tried therapy and yeah, no, it wasn’t for me. And I’m not saying it’s the be all end all by any means. There’s so many things you can do, but it is powerful if you find the right person and also if you put in the time. Like your first session, it’s like you said, it’s really a consultation. It’s really like, okay, do I feel comfortable? Like, where do I start? You know, let’s get some background on each other and things like that. It’s like that first date.

Like, I mean, sometimes it’s love at first sight, don’t get me wrong, you know what I mean? Like sometimes you’re like, you know, when you know, you know, but sometimes it’s not, you know, so I just really, when people are like, just don’t give up on therapy. Like I know it takes time. It took me months to even feel a difference, really, honestly. Now I know what to look for with it and to feel that relief, but exactly. Like it takes time, gotta find the right therapist. You know, you gotta put the work in. I keep saying that, but it’s just the truth.

Ryann

It is, and definitely takes time. So with therapy and anxiety, did you ever go the medication route with your anxiety, or did you always take it kind of like holistic?

Lisa

I really appreciate this question, especially so early on in the conversation, because I think it’s so important to address this. And I started with therapy originally and I did not want to go on medication as I think a lot of people don’t. You know, they don’t want to quote-unquote rely on something, things like that. And I was like, I’m gonna do this without it. You know, it wasn’t enough for me at the time. I was, like I mentioned in my introduction, I was really debilitated physically by this anxiety and panic and I couldn’t get through a day without having a full-blown panic attack.

I was going to therapy, I was eating healthier, I was leaning into my support system, I was working out, exercising, all the things they tell you that make you feel better and I still couldn’t get to like 10 a.m. without completely breaking down or running away from the situation I was in. I talked to my therapist and she recommended me to a psychiatrist. And yeah, I started taking medication about six months into my mental health journey, I would say. And it was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Ryann

And what was the difference that you felt on the medication? Just like more relaxed, more focused, more present?

Lisa

So, I explain it in a way that one of my original psychiatrists who prescribed me, I take an SSRI, which I actually take Prozac, so the generic form of Prozac, which is technically an antidepressant, but it is used to treat anxiety disorders as well. So this is, it’s so funny, I didn’t want to take anxiety medication because I was like, I don’t want, I love who I am. Like even though I’m a psycho right now, like I love, I don’t want to change. I don’t want medication to make me a certain way.

It was like this weird thing I thought and it’s the stigma around it. But you don’t change. I’m still me. I still worry about things. I still have anxiety, but this medication gave me a ceiling. I could only get so anxious. I could only get so far in my anxiety before I started to come So I still, and me, I still have some feelings of anxiety, but they don’t overtake my entire brain and body like they were before I started taking medication.

Ryann

Yeah, so good. And I just love the normalization around it because I agree, there’s this total negative stigma around medication. And I think that if you are doing everything, right? Like you’re working on your skills and you’re going to therapy and you’re doing self-care and you’re taking care of yourself in your day-to-day life and you’re still not feeling like the best version of you and you feel like there’s still a piece of you missing. I mean, it’s a chemical imbalance in your brain and sometimes there’s just so far that you can get on your own and that is okay.

There’s nothing wrong with that and there’s nothing wrong with needing a little extra boost to kind of get you to who you are originally, you know, who you originally are, like the happiest, best version of yourself. And, you know, I really like that you say that it didn’t make me any different. And I think that that is totally a fear that it’ll make you somebody you’re not or it’ll change your personality. And I too was on medication and I realized for me it made me more of me because it got me to that level that I couldn’t get myself. It finally helped push that gray cloud away that I just could not run away from.

Lisa

Yeah, it’s so funny. Every, you know, I have friends in my life, I have family members in my life who are still so hesitant to even try it. And I do understand that just because that’s where society has put it, right? That’s been the conversation around mental health medication for so long. But ultimately, you said it. It is a chemical imbalance. It’s a chemical imbalance in our brain and if we need a little push from something else, as long as it’s the right dosage and you do it the right way, of course.

Do what’s best for you. And you know what? I don’t remember who said this to me and I wish I could quote the right person, but they’re like, if my life sentence is taking a little pill in the morning, I’m good. You know what I mean? It’s just, I don’t know if I’m going to be on this forever. I’ve been on and off of it, to be honest with you. I’ve been up and down on my dosage and I’m still taking it to this day, 10 years after I started it. I have had years where I haven’t been on it, but right now it makes my quality of life so much better and I’m grateful for it.

And I wish the conversation would change around medication for mental health because it’s something I’m really passionate about and it’s something I see changing as the days go on, but man, it’s a hard wall to break down.

Ryann

Definitely, and I mean, just having the conversation about it, I think is the first step, and just being like, hey, look, it doesn’t make you any different, it doesn’t make you weak. I feel like that’s another thing. People think it’s just like asking for help. There’s this kind of weakness that you can’t do it on your own, and it has nothing to do with that.

So I just really, really appreciate you touching on that. And then I also kind of want to ask you about you supplementing with kind of like these natural, what, natural supplements as well. What else do you take to kind of help?

Lisa

So I’m a big believer in the combination of holistic and prescribed. It’s personally worked best for me. There’s a lot of great holistic practices to help with your mental health. I mean, I could go on forever. There’s so many books, everything, but one of them, of course, is supplements. And there’s a lot of research around so many things that can help with anxiety, but I personally, my favorite that I take every day and I have for like a year now, it was introduced to me through my full-time job, actually. It’s called ashwagandha. It’s an adaptogen.

And adaptogens have been used for literally centuries in original medicine, and to balance you out, basically. It’s not necessarily going to cure anxiety, but it balances your stress levels, things like that. It makes you feel more balanced. I love, love, love ashwagandha. I take it every single day. I also love magnesium. So magnesium is super important for so many bodily functions, but it also has a calming effect. So I take it before bed probably a couple nights a week, not every night, but if I need it, it’s good for restoration of the body, but also just it helps you relax.

So I highly recommend trying magnesium. There’s literally so many things I could go on forever. Another one, I’ll just tap it at this, is a probiotic. So I should have started with a probiotic, but ashwagandha is just like one of my favorite things ever. Probiotic for gut health, like a healthy gut is a healthy brain. So, you know, heal that gut, take care of your digestion, Digestion and probiotics are a great start for that.

Ryann

Oh my gosh, yeah, okay. And for those of you listening, all of those things will be linked in the show notes if you’re interested in kind of looking at those further. But I love that, I love just kind of having these natural supplements and just learning about the body. And I totally agree with the gut health stuff. I was reading this article recently that was saying that 90% of our serotonin is actually produced in our gut. Like literally a happy gut is a happy mind and so probiotics are huge. I actually think it’s 90, I could be wrong, I believe it’s 95%. It’s a huge percent. Serotonin is your happy hormone.

Lisa

Yeah, it’s a happy hormone. Like it lives in the gut, it starts there. So let’s take care of it, you know?

Ryann

Yeah, yes, for sure, for sure. And then, so on that topic of like now moving into gut, food, I want to talk about how prioritizing diet and exercise to kind of help with your anxiety or use it as a skill with your anxiety, like prioritizing it kind of made your anxiety worse. Will you talk more about that?

Lisa

Yeah, it’s so funny. This is a question I get a lot. I feel like it was a controversial post that I elaborated on. I went through a period of my life when my anxiety was at its peak, where not only did I prioritize diet and exercise, I put it over everything. And there are a lot of reasons for that, you know, everyone is different. But I started counting my macros, which honestly, like I saw results, you know, I wanted to look a certain way. And I saw those results. So I really focused in on that.

And honestly, it was so detrimental to those years of my life. Like I just look back and I could have lived so much more if I just didn’t spend however many hours a day handwriting the macronutrients of everything I ate and counting it. My fitness calc wasn’t a thing yet. It is now. But it consumed me. If I went over on my carbohydrates or if I didn’t burn enough calories in my workout to even myself out, or if I ate too many fats, which looking back, healthy fats are so good for you.

If I ate too much fat, I would, seriously, this sounds so messed up, and this is just where I was, I would punish myself. So I would literally, okay, I’m over on my carbs, or I’m over on my fats, over on my calories. I have to go for a run in my sports bra, so my stomach will jiggle and I’ll feel it. I was so obsessed. And again, not everyone is going to deal with that, but putting that over everything in my life, like over my mental health, over my relationships, over living, it just put me in the… That’s literally when I spiraled with anxiety and panic. That was the worst it ever was.

Ryann

And I appreciate you being so vulnerable with that, but also touching on that. And I think, you know, it is important to emphasize it’s not just prioritizing diet and exercise, it’s prioritizing it over everything in your life where it becomes this version of you where it defines you where yeah, like, if you don’t work out, or you eat too much, or didn’t track or whatever, that is fueling the anxiety and it’s in a whole other direction that wasn’t even there before.

Lisa

I do want to say this, what you eat and moving your body is super important, but can we throw away the phrase and words like diet and exercise or diet and workout and just be like, it’s food is so important. Yes, like healthy fats are so good for inflammation in your body, which is good for inflammation in your brain, which is, you know, if you reduce inflammation in your brain, you’re going to feel better. And so mentally, and so food is important. You do want to eat certain things in your diet. But I just said diet, you do want to eat certain foods.

But it doesn’t have to be a diet. You know what I mean? Like it doesn’t have to be a certain workout. It doesn’t have to be a certain cycling class. Just move, just, you know, like enjoy food and enjoy moving your body and just be grateful that you can do both of those things and try to change that relationship if it’s being, if it’s detrimental to you.

Ryann

Right, oh my gosh, I love that. And I mean, I’ve kind of thought about that, but not like in that specificity in the sense that like, I feel like when people talk about watch your language around food and like, don’t say good or bad foods, I don’t feel like that’s ever really addressed. Like the way that even just saying diet and exercise instead of food and movement. I love that. Everybody listening, that is your challenge for you

Lisa

Flip the script y’all it’s it’s food and in you know diet culture is a big part of my message with anxiety and everything if you it’s a real thing and There’s a lot like a cheat food. What are you cheating on dude? Like the like the smoothie you drank? I don’t understand. Cheap food, this is bad, this is good, this has too many fats. Again, there are certain scenarios where that’s important. If someone has a certain health issue where they need to eat a certain or less amount of something, I absolutely understand that. But when it comes to just wanting to feel good, just enjoy the food move your body. It’s really really just simplify that stuff just simplify

Ryann

Yeah, so on days when you’re feeling a little bit more anxious Or just kind of like in a thong not like you. What do you like to do for self-care? self-care First of all, I love self-care, but I think it’s kind of thrown around a lot, you know, in, in the content creator’s face and on Instagram and stuff. It’s super important, but it doesn’t necessarily mean like doing a value, taking a bath or like pampering yourself. That’s definitely part of it. Like, you know, you deserve that.

But for me, like to take care of myself, is to set boundaries with people and things. So when I’m not feeling my best, it’s usually because I’m literally tapped out. And I’m so anxious because I’m giving, giving, giving, giving to everyone but myself. And so setting boundaries, like literally saying no to things or, you know, asking my friends or family to like understand that I need rest. Setting a boundary for myself is like the ultimate self-care, in my opinion, like for me. And just allowing myself to rest. Beyond that, you know, I love to read. I love to be outside.

I am from Florida, like I mentioned in the beginning and I, vitamin D, that sun is so important, just stepping outside, so, so, so important for me. Like, personally, it’s important for everyone, but it just changes my mood. Of course I love a good face mask or a girl’s night or, you know, watching, like, reality TV and, like, making dessert, like, all the good stuff. But if I had to choose, I’d say, like I said, setting boundaries and then give me a good book and a good cup of tea and silence and I’m in heaven.

Ryann

I absolutely am so happy that you discussed that and kind of talked about the boundaries point because I totally agree and I read this quote the other day that summed up self-care so perfectly that I was like, this is what’s where people are kind of maybe getting things wrong with self-care and it said that self-care is doing something that makes you feel more like you. And so it’s not always, you know, it absolutely can be the bubble bath or the pedicure or, you know, the girls night out.

But like sometimes that is watching Netflix and sometimes that is setting boundaries and sometimes that is having those tough conversations to get you back to that kind of like old version of you where you feel okay again and like where you feel like you again, whatever that may be.

Lisa

Sometimes self-care isn’t glamorous or fun. Like you said, having those hard conversations, like telling somebody no, like from someone with anxiety is so anxiety inducing. Like, I don’t want to upset you. I don’t want you to think I’m not there for you. But there are times where I have to make that decision to care for myself. And I love everything about self-care, but I think there’s a different phrase that we should talk about here. Really, it’s self-compassion, right? It’s being kinder to yourself. How can you give yourself more grace? How can you accept yourself more? Look inward, what do you need? The compassion for yourself, however you do that, that to me really is what self-care should be.

Ryann

You are so good. We are using everybody’s vocabulary today. I

Lisa

Screw exercise screw self-care

Ryann

We’ve gotten hashtag compassion hashtag food hashtag movement we’re coming at you

Lisa

Yeah, we just write a book on

Ryann

Okay, so talk to me more about the no piece because I know for me And I just have like normal, regular anxiety, and I get anxiety saying no. So like, what helps you kind of set those boundaries and say no to people, especially in this kind of like anxiety-induced state?

Lisa

Boy, this is so hard because I have yet to really figure it out. This is a challenge for me in my life. I am the utmost, the epitome of a people pleaser, and it’s totally a huge part of my anxiety. But I’m now 29, and I am learning slowly but surely how to set those boundaries and how to say no. For me, as someone who is very type A and like I said, very much a people pleaser, I want to still offer something when I’m saying no, if that makes sense. Like, I don’t just want to shut, even though saying no, period, it’s fine. Say no, do it, please. But to make it a little easier for someone who struggles with that, I try to offer up something. So, like, let me just, you know, give an example.

Like, let’s say with work hours, like setting boundaries with working, you know, your boss is like, can you take on this project? And you really are going to explode if you take on this project, right? So you know, saying at this time, I really can’t take that on. But if we could revisit this in a couple days or in a week, or if I could work on this with someone else, like I would be open to that. You know, so for me, again, if you can say no, period and walk away like literally you’re my hero but it’s harder than that in my opinion. You don’t need to apologize but to kind of warm yourself up to setting these boundaries try to see what else you can offer within your capacity. You know what I mean? And go from there and then you can get firmer and firmer and more comfortable with the beautiful word No

Ryann

Right. It’s all about the baby steps and it’s the ability to kind of tiptoe into okay, I’m gonna kind of say no with this added benefit and then once I get confident in that regard maybe I can kind of pull back on the benefit a little bit here and there. But I totally agree, you know, if it’s something that you’re uncomfortable with or it gives you anxiety, just baby steps and kind of work your way up to it. But I agree, and I’m a people pleaser as well. It is so hard.

Lisa

So hard. And I’m not saying to sacrifice anything if you can’t, but again, to just get more comfortable with setting boundaries, especially with people you care about, you can just voice like, if someone needs you for something, but really you don’t have the emotional capacity to take it on, you can say like, I love you, I’m here for you. But at this time, you know, I need this time to myself or whatever the case may be, like, you’re not necessarily offering anything to them, but you’re still supporting them with your words, and then also respecting what you need.

Ryann

100%. But so I kind of want to twist gears a little bit and touch on the panic side of things. So we’re addressing both things. Because I feel like that’s something that really isn’t talked about, like at all. Like I feel like anxiety is now becoming like a big hype word, where it’s like, you know, a lot of people are bringing attention to it, which I think is phenomenal.

I think that is something that is being way more recognized now, and like people are addressing and trying to normalize it. However, I feel like you just really don’t hear about panic attacks and having the anxiety kind of transition into a panic attack very often. So can you talk about that a little bit?

Lisa

It’s funny, anxiety is slowly but surely getting normalized, but the scarier anxiety disorders like panic and mood disorder and agoraphobia and, you know, the list goes on and on where society as a whole is not comfortable. It’s not there yet, honestly, in my opinion. And there it is scarier, but panic, panic is anxiety on another level. is actually just the cycle of like you have this anxiety panic attack, physically react, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, red face, maybe you get like hives, which I actually do, numbness, you know, dissociation, things like that.

And you are so scared of having that again, that you have this cycle of life where you live it and avoid everything that you think will cause another panic attack. So it’s this crazy cycle of like, not just anxiety, but like worry and stress. And it’s like physical now all the time. And honestly, anxiety for me is something I really feel like I’ve navigated well. And when I take it to the next level with panic disorder, I’ve made so much progress, but I definitely have more progress to make in that area because I still am scared of having a panic attack. Although I live my life much, much, much easier than I have in the past with panic disorder, the fear of having that, it’s traumatic.

Like, it’s a traumatic experience. And it’s just, it’s a vicious cycle of fear. That’s what it is, really.

Ryann

And what has helped you kind of calm down when you do go into that panic mode?

Lisa

So what has helped me when I’ve had, or like in the middle of panic, or I feel panic coming on. Sounds so simple, but hear me out. When I am so in my head and about to like physically react with a panic attack, I know when it’s coming. If you’ve ever had one, you’ll be able to start to identify these symptoms. I literally just have to start talking and that sounds bizarre, but as soon as I like look at someone, I could feel it coming.

My like hives start and my face goes the color of a fire truck and I literally think I’m gonna like throw up everywhere and have to run away. I find someone I trust whether it’s a co-worker or a friend or call somebody. If I’m not with anyone I’ll call someone and I just start talking and just get spoken word out because it pulls you out of your head which then pulls you out of that crazy crazy reaction and allows you to form sentences and talk about things.

And I’m not saying this is going to cure it, but it does interrupt that panic attack that’s happening. And so I literally spoke in word. It’s so strong. Like, hey, like, I’m not feeling great right now. Can you chat with me? Or like, um, literally I have friends who know I have it. So I’ll be like, hey, panic attack is coming on right now. I need you to just chat with me and talk me through this so I can push through the next however many minutes. And that’s the huge thing.

Also, having things that you’re comfortable with at all times is really important. I always have water with me because again, if you’re taking a sip of water or eating a snack, it’s kind of interrupting that explosion that’s going on in your body. And whatever else brings you comfort, like try to identify those things and have them with you so you have that, almost that safety blanket at all times.

Ryann

How could somebody, let’s say a friend or a family member support someone who is struggling with anxiety?

Lisa

My number one piece of advice here, any kind of anxiety disorder, depression, anxiety, panic, is don’t take things personally. And if you don’t understand, just listen and try to understand. I guess I’m saying is a lot of people dealing with this or struggling or having these internal battles 24-7, they are probably going to cancel on you. They’re probably not going to answer the phone.

They probably need time to themselves to disconnect. They need to rest. They’re tired, their body’s fighting this all the time. That has nothing to do with you, you know, and and that sounds simple again, but it really makes a difference instead of giving them a hard time or being like you didn’t call or you’re such a flake or, you know, maybe check in on them and be like, why did this happen? And the person would be like, listen, I was going through a crazy, anxious time and I just needed to rest. And so not taking it personally.

Also, when you ask that friend or family member who’s dealing with whatever they’re dealing with and they give you an answer like, Oh, like I have really bad anxiety or, Oh, I have a panic attack coming on. And you don’t know what the, what the heck that is. Like do some research. It means a lot to them. And you know, I have people in my family who have mood disorder and things that are a little bit more severe in certain moments.

And I didn’t understand them at first, but I made it a point to ask my therapist and do my secondary research and try to understand what it was. So when they act a certain way or when they react or if they ignore you, you at least have that layer of understanding. So don’t take things personally. Do some research if that’s of interest to you and you really want to be there for them. And honestly, listening, just listen. They’re probably gonna blab like I am right now, but they just want to be heard.

Ryann

Oh, so good. Also, Lisa has a phenomenal, lengthy blog on this, which I will also link to the show notes because I think she does such a good job at Explaining like because yeah, sometimes it’s like how do I offer support? I don’t know what to say I don’t necessarily understand it so you know what you can kind of do as a friend and then also obviously there’s a ton of Ton of resources on there if you yourself is struggling to so the last little piece for this I kind of want to go into a speed round question. I love this! Just tell me what the first thing that comes to your mind is. Alright, are you ready?

Lisa

Yes.

Ryann

If you could completely get rid of one month out of the year, which month would it be and why?

Lisa

That is the most random question I’ve ever gotten in a speed round. It would be August because there’s no like, oh my god, am I missing an amazing holiday? And it’s so, it’s the hottest month of the year in Florida and it’s like, like death outside. So August, I’m kicking it to the curb.

Ryann

All right, August is out. What is your favorite flavor of jelly bean?

Lisa

I’m going to just go with cherry.

Ryann

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Lisa

Well in 2020, zero minutes. I don’t think I’m ready right now. If I go into work, I would say 45 minutes.

Ryann

Beach or mountains?

Lisa

I’m going to have to go with mountains.

Ryann

Yep. Texting or talking?

Lisa

Texting.

Ryann

What is your go-to dessert?

Lisa

Chocolate chip cookies, hands down.

Ryann

Oh, yes. Peanut butter or almond butter?

Lisa

If anyone besides people who are allergic to peanuts chooses almond butter, like, get out of town. Peanut butter!

Ryann

I have to disagree! I have to disagree!

Lisa

Almond butter is literally the, when I say woat, I mean worst of all time, the woat of nut butters.

Ryann

Oh my gosh. Okay, for journaling, paper or computer?

Lisa

Paper. Always.

Ryann

How do you define happiness?

Lisa

Wow, that’s really hard. I define happiness more as contentment. Just being content with where you are and accepting where you are.

Ryann

Love it. And if you were a coffee drink, what would you be?

Lisa

I would be the most basic white girl drink, except not pumpkin spice, don’t get too excited. I would be an oat milk latte with like a touch of cinnamon and maybe a little like hint of like a sweetener like Stevia or something.

Ryann

Yes, oh my gosh. Where can everybody find you?

Lisa

You can find me at Adventures in Anxiety on Instagram and Facebook. AdventuresinAnxiety.com is my blog and my name is Lisa Poe. So I mean, I’m sure you can find me like on Twitter that way, but yeah, adventures and anxiety for all the mental health stuff.

Ryann

And everything that we chatted about today, Lisa’s Instagram, website, Twitter, all that good stuff is going to be linked in the show notes. Thank you so much for all of that knowledge, for challenging us to change our vocabulary, and just being such a positive light in this mental health world. Like, you are so appreciated, and just, I’m so grateful that you came on here today.

Lisa

Thank you so much. Thank you for what you do, and for having these conversations, and creating this space for them. And I’m just so, such in a good mood now, so thank you.

 

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