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Connect with Polina

📲 Instagram: @recovery.of.p

Episode Transcript

Ryann

All right, you guys, I have a little bit different of an episode for you today, and I’m just so excited about it because I have Paulina here with us, who is sharing her amazing, incredible story of eating disorder recovery. And her platform, her story, her entire vibe is so inspirational. So if you are somebody who has struggled with an eating disorder, if you are someone who is in recovery, or someone who has struggled with an eating disorder, is still kind of having those food thoughts, feeling this kind of pressure of I haven’t fully recovered, what is wrong with me? This is the episode. So Paulina, I am so excited to have you here today.

Polina

I’m really excited to be here. Thank you for having me, honestly.

Ryann

Of course! So for everybody who doesn’t know you, I just want to dive in from the beginning. Tell us your story, the basics, like the start, middle, end, and then we’ll kind of dive in deeper in each section. So just kind of an overview of where you were at, what happened, and then where you’re at now.

Polina

Sure. So I mean, I feel like all eating disorders start like subconsciously at a pretty young age, and you don’t really know what’s going on with you until it’s until a little later on. All my life, I was really insecure about my body and had a lot of body issues and stuff like that before I got sick. And before I became anorexic, I went through a phase where I was bulimic, but I was able to kind of tackle that on my own. And then it was in when I started my first year at university, I moved out of my parents’ house and I was living alone. And I got really into like exercise and dieting and like the like fasting, don’t eat after this time, don’t eat before this time.

And it’s like, it all started maybe from like a place of me wanting to be healthy, but it definitely got toxic really, really fast. And especially with me living alone and no one being there to see what was going on with me, I kind of dug a deeper and deeper hole for myself and slowly started to cut down on food, exercise more, getting really scared and anxious around food. And my parents probably didn’t see me for around three months and then my mom finally came to visit me and she was like oh my god like something’s not right because I lost a lot of weight and I was always anxious and didn’t eat anything and so I went to to a doctor and and they diagnosed me with anorexia nervosa and at first I was in utter disbelief and was like no I’m not sick there’s no way like I’m not going to hospital. I’m not going to treatment.

And for a very, very long time, no one could convince me that I do need treatment. And I was being very stubborn and being like, I can do this on my own. I don’t need to go to a hospital. I have the willpower to fix this myself. And I made this deal with my parents that I would go to a hospital by my birthday if I didn’t put on a set amount of weight and wasn’t able to to recover on my own but then my birthday was in April and COVID happened so all hospital programs closed and I didn’t have a chance to go to hospital treatment like I planned and so I went back to living with my parents. I’m studying online now and like have been really recovering probably since this summer.

Ryann

Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. I just love, you know, the transparency that you have, but also kind of just like the honesty of kind of the ups and downs with it. And I think it’s really important to draw an attention to those body image issues starting at a young age. Thinking back to that, do you feel like there was anything that particularly triggered you to be more aware of your body?

Polina

Um, definitely. I thought about this a lot in like therapy and trying to figure out why this all happened. And I think a bit part of it is family influence. Growing up, like extended family especially, would be like, Oh my god, you can eat so much, but you stay so skinny or like, look at you, you’re so athletic and like, so sporty, that’s so great. And instead of me getting compliments for like my brains or something else, it would be on appearance.

And so to me, I think I started thinking that like, if I lose this like perfect body that I thought I had, what would I be? Why would people like me? Why would people wanna be around me if I don’t have this? I really tried to cling on to it and I thought that was the only thing that made me likable really.

Ryann

I think you bring up such a good point about the comments and like how the positive comments can be just as harmful as the negative ones and it totally messes with our minds in the sense of yeah, like of course you would have had this idea of, if I lost this body, would people still like me when you’re constantly getting all of this praise and all this attention on your body, just like you said, versus your brains or your personality or who you are. And so talk to me more about how the comments maybe got greater as you started to lose weight and then how they kind of shifted and how they messed with your mind throughout this whole process.

Polina

It’s just like anytime if I would gain a little weight I would get comments like oh, you know Did you put a little weight on and all of them that would be so triggering like shoot? Like what did I do? I need to start dieting and then anytime people never know what’s really going on as you said they don’t mean to hurt your feelings But they’ll say like oh my god. You lost weight. You look so great and like friends that I didn’t see for a long time would Say things like that to me and a lot of people Won’t understand what’s going on with you, and if and if I said yeah, you know maybe I did lose the way

But I don’t know I don’t really like it. Maybe I think I’m gonna try and gain back some more weight. I don’t really feel that good because I was trying to, I guess maybe in a sense, convince myself that recovery is what I need. But then in return, I’d hear comments like, no, what are you talking about? You look great. Oh, you’re fine. Everything’s perfect. All this stuff, you eat so clean.

This comment killed me all the time. Like, you’re such a healthy person. Like, I’m so jealous. Like, I look up to you, how do you do it? And then like, it would be horrible because inside I would know how much torture and pain I would have to go through in order to look like that. I so appreciate you saying that because it is so easy for us to look at the exterior, right? And make these assumptions that, wow, she’s so healthy. How does she do it? Her life must be great.

My life would be so much better if I just looked like her, focusing so much on the exterior or the outside and not thinking about what is really going on. And looking at, especially with how much social media is in our lives and in our faces now, and seeing these pictures and making sure not to look at them at face value and kind of challenging our ideas of do we really know what is going on?

Ryann

And so I so appreciate you bringing attention to that. So I like that you kind of talked about this idea of, or well, you talked about you saying like, I have the willpower to fix this. I can do this on my own. When did you realize that this was something that you could not tackle on your own?

Polina

There were a lot of moments where like small breakdowns where I was like, I should have gone to hospital. This is too hard. Like, why did I do this? Stuff like that. At one point, my mom really sat me down and was like, I don’t think you can do this. Because at first, I’m Russian, like my background is I’m Russian, and they’re eating disorders are not talked about like it’s not a thing and so when this happened to me the reaction of both my parents was that like you’re just gonna come home we’re gonna feed you and you’re gonna be fine obviously that’s not how that works and so hearing that from them I was in the same mentality that like no it’s fine like I’m gonna push through this it’s gonna be okay and it wasn’t until probably June of this year, I remember I was like probably at my lowest point and with my in regards to my weight and I had my first ever binge and never happened before because I was so terrified of food and then I lost it like just lost it.

I ate so much I at that point was like doctors that saw me was were recommending that I was I should be on bed rest so I couldn’t move. My parents wouldn’t let me out of the house. And I just remember waking up the next morning and just thinking like, what the hell am I gonna do? Like, how do I get out of this? Like, I can’t keep going like this. Like, this is, like, I can’t, this is horrible. I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve, like, I’ve tried everything and it’s been so long and I don’t know how much more of this I can handle. So I really vividly remember like laying on my couch and having those thoughts and knowing that I need to do something more than what I was doing then in order to make myself feel better.

Ryann

Yeah, and for anybody who doesn’t understand anorexia or understand kind of what goes on in your mind, why could you not just eat? Like, I feel like with people who don’t understand anorexia, right, and probably what you experience in your culture where eating disorders aren’t talked about, the most common thing people will say in this kind of scenario is just eat. And why is it not that easy?

Polina

It’s just like any other mental health disorder. It is a disease and I think it ties a lot in with anxiety because it’s like your brain reprograms you to think that the food that that you need that’s like brings you energy that makes you feel good it’s something that needs to be feared and something that’s going to hurt you and I remember it’s like I would see a plate of food and I would just want to cry because it would scare me so much.

Because obviously if you try and think about it rationally, obviously like it’s not gonna kill you, it’s not gonna hurt you, but in that moment it’s like the scariest thing in the world. To me it’s like if someone put like a snake in front of you, obviously thoughts of like how many calories are in this, what’s gonna happen if I eat it, this irrational thought that I’m just gonna blow up, I’m gonna gain so much weight from taking this one bite of food, and yeah, just this like very uncontrollable, irrational fear.

Ryann

Yeah, and I think it’s so important to draw attention to the anxiety piece and the fear piece and kind of the emotional piece to it and kind of recognizing that it goes so much deeper than the plate of food. It’s not just about the food, it’s about the feelings, the fear, the anxiety, the everything that we believe the food will do to our body. And then looking at if my body changed, having this belief that that means something about me. me and like attaching our worth to our bodies and kind of understanding that again it goes so much deeper than the food.

Polina

Yeah like attaching you said it really well like attaching our worth to our body image because a lot of the times when I was in recovery and I would have bad days where I was upset about weight gain and I couldn’t accept it. I was just thinking like, who’s gonna like me now? Like what other good qualities do I have? And that’s the other part of the eating disorder is that it makes you think that you’re not worthy of the food, you don’t deserve it, you’re a bad person. So much negative self-talk that makes you think that you’re no one. It’s like your brain really tricks you into beating yourself up a lot.

Ryann

I so appreciate you saying that because I know that when I was going through all my food stuff, it’s something that people don’t come out and say a lot. And so when you have these thoughts, when you have these fears, when you have these irrationalities, it’s so easy to think what is wrong with me? I am the only person who thinks like this. And so I am just so grateful for you sharing that because I know whoever’s listening who maybe have had that thought before and like hearing you say that and just kind of normalizing that that is what happens brings a lot of sense of peace.

And I know that when I first heard somebody else like share their story and it was very similar to mine, I was like, oh my gosh, Like, it’s not just me. And so I think that is so powerful. So what did the beginning stages of your recovery look like? Like once you finally were like, okay, like I can’t do this on my own. I need help. Then what happened?

Polina

I started working with a psychologist and a nutritionist and I got put on a meal plan. I’m still on a meal plan, but it’s just a lot more lenient now. But I was basically eating the same thing every day, breakfast, lunch, dinner with like snacks in between wasn’t allowed to exercise or move at all really because my weight was so low. And then I would have to go in for weekly weigh ins. And I know that anyone who is going to recover has been in recovery knows how not fun weigh-ins are. And yeah, that was basically it. A lot of therapy, weekly check-ins about how I was doing.

Ryann

Yeah. And how have you coped with the feelings of fear or just these uncomfortable feelings, you know, from attaching your work to your weight to now having to put on weight? Like how did you cope with that?

Polina

Good question. I mean, it’s, it’s not like I’m perfect, and I’m not gonna lie here and say that like every day I wake up and I’m like, wow, I love my body, everything’s so great. But it really takes a lot of work, I think, with switching your mentality from negative self talk to positive self talk. And I really tried to recognize when thoughts of me beating myself up would come into my mind like if I was Start thinking like you’re fat or like you shouldn’t eat this you’re gonna gain weight I really tried to stop and think okay, so what so what if I eat this? Like what I’m thinking is not true.

And so what if I put on weight I should put on weight Why can’t I put on weight? Why can’t I eat what I want to eat? And it obviously does not happen overnight recovery takes a really long time, but the more that you challenge those thoughts that come to your head, the more you start to realize and recognize how irrational they are and the easier it is to kind of ignore them and let them kind of, they kind of just like fade into background noise.

Ryann

And did you just do individual therapy or did you do like treatment with a group?

Polina

Sadly, I only did individual therapy because that’s the one thing I, if I went to a hospital, I would have had the group support and the group therapy, but I didn’t. And that’s why I really wanted to start this platform and why I loved your page and started following and watching different YouTubers and bloggers talk about this because once I realized that I wasn’t alone and there was a community of people who went through Something similar to me.

It made me feel so much better Knowing that like there are so many resources out there and people that I can I can talk to

Ryann

Yeah I think that you know, the support piece is so huge And I think that it is a game changer and making you feel like you’re not alone and having those people that you can reach out to and say, hey, I’m struggling and like have somebody respond who gets it or have somebody listen who gets it.

And I also think it’s so important to kind of address the fact that you said earlier that every day isn’t perfect, right? It’s not like you’re gonna snap your fingers and be like, yay, I’m so happy I’m gaining weight. But I really like how you challenge the thoughts that you have and asking what does this mean? What does this say about who I am? Does this really matter? And I think that it’s bringing that awareness and being aware of the thoughts that we’re having, being aware of the negative thoughts, recognizing, you know, when we’re having a bad day and what we can do to maybe make ourselves feel a little bit better, not saying that we need to be 100%, but just feel a little bit better.

That’s where the true transformation happens. It’s not just like the days that are amazing, like those days are great, but it’s really how we get through the days that are hard. So how do you get through your hard days now?

Polina

Now that this has been going on for so long, my parents have really put in the effort to try and understand what’s going on with me. And so have my friends. I’m really blessed to have a really good support system. So obviously I reach out and I tell people how I feel and I talk about my feeling and I say that I’m not having a good day and this is bothering me or this is bothering me. And try and a lot of the times even by talking it out, it makes me feel a little better. But I put a post out about this yesterday.

And I kind of asked myself, do I want to go back to the place where I was three months ago? Do I want to be that skinny? Do I want to feel that alone? Do I want to wake up 10 years from now and be scared of food, obsessed with exercise, just completely isolated from everyone else? And the answer to that is no. And even on the days when it’s challenging, I really try and look at the bigger picture of why I’m doing this. And it’s hard, but when I kind of process that and talk myself through that, that really helps.

Ryann

I love that. I think, you know, you’re just such an inspiration. And I think it is recognizing the hard days and recognizing that we’re human and just noticing where we can be kinder to ourselves and more loving to ourselves on these tough days. So going back to your comment about family and friends, how did you communicate your feelings and your needs with family and friends that maybe didn’t understand what you were going through?

Polina

With my parents, I started reading a lot about what was going on with me. I was trying to like understand the psychology behind it and stuff like that. And so like I would send them articles and and say like, listen to this talk, listen to that. Like, like I want you to understand what is going on with me because it sucks when like you’re trying to like explain to someone how you feel and then like you’re met with like the stupid question of like but why can’t you just eat?

So like it was so important for the people around me to understand what I’m going through and so I if I couldn’t explain it in the best words I’d try and like like send them stuff to listen to and and read but honestly there have been some people who never really understood or to understand what happened to me or eating disorders in general and I just realized over time that talking to them was genuinely way too triggering for me and I couldn’t handle it.

Like I guess like sometimes you just have to think in your best interests and if someone’s comments that they’re making towards you or just in general around like food or exercise or body image are hurtful to you then you kind of need to need to pay attention to that and think about what’s best for you.

Ryann

Yeah. Have any of your relationships changed throughout your recovery? Like, have you noticed maybe relationships that you were holding on to that might have been toxic or not helpful in your recovery? Or maybe some people that you’ve had to put stronger boundaries up around as you’ve kind of learned more about yourself and what you actually need to make you happy?

Polina

I’ve definitely cut off some friends who I just couldn’t be around because like just too much like diet culture talk and like body image talk and and stuff like that and I just couldn’t do it. I’ve tried to be so like I know that they’re trying to understand but they don’t always because of like the cultural differences and just like it’s not a custom to to talk about or understand but really if like I see that someone isn’t trying to put in the effort to understand what is going on with me and I’ve tried my hardest to explain it to them, then like it’s not something to beat yourself up over because I did get upset that like I was losing some friends or cutting some people off, but like once again, acting in your own best interests.

There are some like good things that came out of this as well because even though I did lose some friends and some people in my life, my relationship with my dad especially got so much stronger because once he really started to care and like try and understand what was going on with me, he became one of my biggest support systems for like really listening and like telling me that it’s going to be okay, trying to calm me down and stuff like that. So there are definitely like both like downsides and upsides to this.

Ryann

When you were learning about what was going on or even now, like when you’re doing research or finding places that offer support or positivity, what are some of your favorite resources or Instagrams or places where you go to either help you learn more about what’s going on or just help bring you some positivity on the tougher days? What do you look for? Where do you go?

Polina

Oh good question um well obviously your page. I have I watched I don’t know like I went on YouTube a lot I didn’t I don’t know any names in particular but I don’t know I think up to like Stephanie Buttermore I don’t know if you know her yeah her like all-in journey and she did this one talk specifically about like how to stick to the mindset because like she went all in but recovery really is about going all in as well because it’s about committing to eating and not restricting and like following whatever meal plan you might be on not exercising so like she really outlined like how to put yourself in the right mindset of like eating every day, sticking to the program.

She talked about like, if there’s anyone tossing in your life, you have to cut them off. And so and so I remember like I was watching that and like writing down notes of like what she was saying to try and like follow it and apply it to myself as well.

Ryann

Yeah. And for anybody who is listening that doesn’t know who that is, I will link her in the show notes so you can check that out. But I think that, you know, she is such a great example of, yeah, like, it really is, you either go all in, or you’re never going to get to that place of full recovery. And not saying that full recovery doesn’t mean that you have bad days and that really comes down to going all in. And I think that that is so important to recognize. So what are some things that you do on a daily basis to support your recovery?

Polina

I don’t look at like I guess you can say bad social media. I definitely want to start with that and like post about like dieting and like diet culture stuff like that I’m like no absolutely not. I stick to my meal plan and I’ve recognized that this is super important and it’s like the most basic thing but like if you restrict you’re gonna binge like it’s just inevitable and as hard as it can be like you just need to push through it. Definitely always like I try to like do check-ins with myself still before like every meal.

I try and make sure that like if I go and I exercise I am like I always like think like am I enjoying this? Why am I doing this? Try and ask myself those questions. So like still try and be very very careful and like listening to myself a lot whenever it comes to anything to do with with food or exercise.

Ryann

Did you have any particular food fears that you had to work through?

Polina

Carbs, like anything carbs I could not do. And I used to love oatmeal. And I remember the first time my mom tried to get me to force oatmeal, I like burst into tears. Or like when I got my meal plan and it was like, I had to have like a cup of rice. And when I saw it, like it sounds like okay, a cup of rice and then I saw it and like panic mode. It was horrible.

And the thing about fear foods that I just want to mention is that like you eat them once and like literally feels like the worst thing in the world and you think that like you’re never going to be able to get over that fear, but it’s always really important to like not only eat it once or twice, but to like keep eating that food consistently, because that’s the only way that you’re gonna recognize and realize that that fear is really irrational and just in your head.

Ryann

Yeah, so is there anything that you tell yourself or anything that you do to kind of calm the anxiety when you when let’s say you sit down and you have that fear food in front of you and you’re challenging yourself to eat it for that day?

Polina

I try and separate myself, like Paulina from the eating disorder voice and trying to explain to myself that the voice in my head that’s telling me that like, I shouldn’t eat this or I don’t deserve to eat this, it’s not me. It’s my illness and my eating disorder. And kind of I taught myself through this mantra that like, yes, I’m having these thoughts. I know I’m having these thoughts. I accept these thoughts, but I’m not going to give in to them because I’m stronger than they are. And I want to do right by myself.

So I kind of talk myself through that I take some deep breaths. Sometimes like it is more challenging. I’m like, I’ll take longer at a meal and really think through it. But that’s usually like what I’ll try and say to myself.

Ryann

I think it’s so important to draw attention to separating that voice in your head and I’m so glad that you brought that up because that is huge. Like being able to separate you from that eating disorder voice and recognizing who is talking. I know for me that was really helpful and kind of bringing some sense into what was going on and the fears that I was having and kind of breaking through them, which I’m sure you can relate to kind of based on what you just said of being able to be like, that is the eating disorder voice talking and I’m going to say this instead.

And I also think that it’s important to recognize that that eating disorder voice might never go away. And it is you getting better at separating it, you getting better at talking it down, you getting better at letting that voice just flow right through you, like it’s just like a leaf blowing through the wind kind of thing. And that is that is so huge.

I hear all the time like clients saying, I’m still having these thoughts what’s wrong with me and it’s not that anything is wrong with you sometimes they never go away but it’s recognizing you getting better at shutting that voice down.

Polina

Yeah exactly it’s just about being able to like you said just like a leaf blowing in the wind just kind of like that thought is there and sometimes I’ll have it like, I’ll be like, okay, I want to have this and like I’ll go up to get it and like get this like shock of panic like randomly and then like I have to like pause and stop and and think through it.

Another really important thing between like learning how to separate you from your eating disorder voice is I used to blame myself a lot for that voice in my head. And like think that like I’m a bad person because it’s like, it’s really like, it’s like when you’re sick, you really can’t do anything right. Because like, if you eat, you did something wrong. If you don’t eat, then you didn’t follow your meal plans. Like, it’s like this constant like battle within your head of like, did I do something wrong? Did I do something right? And like, I think it was really important to separate that voice in my head for me because just to think like I like me, Polina, I didn’t do anything wrong like I am not I’m not a bad person I am having bad thoughts but that doesn’t define who I am and those thoughts do not define me.

Ryann

Absolutely, I mean say it again for the people in the back. So good. So I want to ask you, how has your relationship with fitness and exercise changed? Are you still not working out or have you come to a place where you have changed your kind of mindset around fitness and exercise?

Polina

I am working out, but I’m still trying to be very, very careful about it. So like I’ve set a limit for myself for the amount of times that I will allow myself to work out per week. And I make sure that I don’t go above that. But there are weeks when I do less and I never thought that I’d be able to get to this place because there was a time where if I didn’t work out one day out of the week, I was beating myself up so badly and now I’ve really tried to work on like just listening to my body. Am I sore? Yes. So should I be pushing myself and punishing myself? No.

Like what’s the point? It won’t do me any good. And I really I try and do it more. You did a post about this too. Like really ask myself before a workout like am I doing this to burn calories then then I shouldn’t do it because it’s just it’s not coming from a good place but if I’m doing this to make myself feel better then then I should do it because like exercising movement is healthy it’s just it can get to a really bad place if it’s not controlled.

Ryann

Yeah and I think the mindset piece is huge, you know, drawing attention to why is it that I’m doing this? Why do I feel the need to go if it’s coming from a place of Yeah, I just feel like I want to move my body then great. But if it’s coming from a place of I feel like I need to do this to burn calories or to be able to eat, then it’s kind of like, alright, I need to check that.

Polina

Yeah, exactly. And it’s like, before I used to like, and I still do really enjoy running. Like, I’m a big fan of it, but like, like doing like a dance class or a yoga class or something else, or just going for a walk, like it’s all movement, it’s all exercise, it’s all good for you. So it’s like, now I try and like try new things and have fun with it instead of just thinking I need to do this to burn X amount of calories so I can eat this amount of food. It’s horrible because you think that when you have an eating disorder, you’re so in control of everything that’s going on with you, but in reality, it’s the eating disorder controlling you.

So when you can let go of that piece and let go of that control, you realize how much freedom you actually have. And like that is to me has probably been the most amazing part of recovery.

Ryann

Yeah. So anybody who is just getting started on their recovery journey, what tips or advice would you have for them for staying motivated during the beginning when it is tough?

Polina

It’s not an easy thing. But if I can do it, I really didn’t think I could, like, honestly, like so many moments where I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it. But if I could, then I know you definitely can. It’s just really remind yourself why you’re doing this remind yourself of all the horrible things that your eating disorder has done to you. And remind yourself that you do not want to stay in that place.

Like there is so much more to life than just counting calories and obsessing over exercise and like being afraid of food. There is so much out there and you deserve to enjoy all those things that life has to offer to you. Your eating disorder might tell you that you don’t and you’re not worth it and stuff like that. But like, there is so much out there and there is such an amazing life worth living.

So really try and I guess say to yourself, like, do I want to be in this place 10 years from now, five years from now? Do I wanna be stuck in the same place or do I wanna feel better? And really, and challenge yourself and push yourself. Then I think something really important is that you have to tell people around you what is going on because eating disorders make you feel so isolated because you think that it’s something that you need to hide.

And I think just being honest and open about your feelings, whether it’s like with your family or your friends, just to have someone to to talk to is is also really, really important.

Ryann

I love, love those. All right, so to end this episode, to get people to know you a little bit better, we’re gonna go into a speed round of questions. So just answer with the first thing that comes to your mind, are you ready?

Polina

Oh God, okay.

Ryann

All right, number one, at the movies, do you prefer candy or popcorn?

Polina

Popcorn.

Ryann

Ocean or mountains?

Polina

Ocean.

Ryann

Coffee or tea?

Polina

Coffee.

Ryann

Peanut butter or almond butter?

Polina

Almond butter.

Ryann

Finally, you’re the first person to agree with me on that. Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m so glad. What is your biggest guilty pleasure?

Polina

Oh my god, chocolate, honestly.

Ryann

Yes. Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

Polina

Honestly any chocolate like chocolate like nuts in it or like mint like any any chocolate like I’m down. I don’t care

Ryann

Yes. Yes. I mean there there are a few things in life better than chocolate You prefer big parties or small gatherings.

Polina

Um depends on my mood. Honestly, maybe probably small gatherings

Ryann

Yeah, what do you feel like is worse laundry or dishes?

Polina

Laundry.

Ryann

Yes. Oh my god. I have such a problem with putting my laundry away, which is very strange because I am So type a but I am so bad about laundry, but hamburger tacos

Polina

Tacos.

Ryann

Yes. What kind of taco?

Polina

Oh my god. I just remember once I had these bomb shrimp tacos. So that would probably And we can look at one restaurant again and get that like for sure.

Ryann

Yeah, that sounds so good. How would you define happiness?

Polina

Um, honestly, two things I can think of is sunshine and food freedom. Those are because that’s probably my priority right now. So –

Ryann

And if you were a coffee drink, what would you be and why?

Polina

I would be a Starbucks cold brew, maybe with some almond milk and caramel syrup. Just, you know, no clue why, but that’s my favorite drink. Definitely give it a try if you go.

Ryann

You’re a little spicy, but you’re sweet. You’re calm, but you’re after it. I love it. So for anybody who is listening that wants to reach out, connect with you, find you. Where can they find you?

Polina

On Instagram, on my page is called Recovery of P. So definitely if you wanna give me a follow, I’m there. I post almost daily and I’m always free to talk, answer any questions, offer any support. That’s the only reason I really started this is to help anyone who is going through something similar to me. So yeah, definitely reach out.

Ryann

Yay. And I’ll leave her account in the show notes. So if you’re looking to check her out, learn more about Paulina, you can find her in the show notes. But thank you so much again for sharing all of that with us, sharing your story, being so vulnerable. It is really, really inspiring. And I just so appreciate you coming on here and talking about that today.

Polina

Thank you so much for having me.

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