034. Embracing Your Body, When You Have A Disability ft. Melissa Dechellis; @melissadechellis

Written By:

Category:

Ryann Nicole


Connect with Melissa

📲 Instagram: @melissadechellis

🖥 Website: www.adaptivelyabledamputees.org

🎙 Podcast: Adaptively Able Amputees

Episode Transcript

Ryann

Hello, I am just, I can’t even tell you how excited I am for this episode today to chat with Melissa about her journey and everything that she has to share. And this is different in the sense of we’re going to be having Melissa sharing her story of experience, strength, and hope and just offer so much positivity and mindset switching and Empowerment and just getting you excited about moving and fitness and all that good stuff. So Melissa, thank you so much for coming on and chatting with us today.

Melissa

Thank you so much Ryann I am so excited to be here and to share my story.

Ryann

I cannot wait to hear it, so we’ll just go ahead. Let’s just dive right in for anybody who doesn’t know you, who doesn’t know about you, tell us everything.

Melissa

All right. So just to introduce myself, my name is Melissa Dichalis. I’m a right below the knee amputee. I’m actually coming up on my eight year ampuversary on 4-4-13, was when I eventually made the elective decision to amputate my leg below the knee. And yes, an amp-u-versary is a thing. It’s kind of like an anniversary, but it’s a day in your life that you kind of reflect upon your journey and celebrate all of your accomplishments and also look back and see how far you’ve come from that moment and then set intentions and goals for yourself for the year ahead. So I’m really excited to come on this episode right around the time of my amp-uversary because I’ve been kind of deep in thought over the last few weeks just kind of wrapping my head around the crazy journey that life has led me down.

So I’m not just an amputee, I’m a dog mom, I’m a wife, I’m a beach lover, I’m a fitness enthusiast, an adaptive CrossFit athlete, I’m a personal trainer. I founded my own non-profit, Adaptively Abled Amputees. It’s an organization that provides support, social activities, education, advocacy, fitness, and wellness for individuals with physical disabilities. I founded Boston’s very first comprehensive adaptive functional fitness program and wellness program called Adaptively Abled Fitness. We graduated our first class of 10 adaptive athletes, multiple different levels of disability. We had several amputees, we had below knee, above knee, bilateral above knee, bilateral below the knees, so people that are missing both of their legs.

We had individuals with cerebral palsy, with spinal cord injury, and with scoliosis and chronic pain. They came together as a tribe. I was able to recruit 60 of the top rehabilitation, fitness, and wellness professionals who came and volunteered their time and their talent to be able to train these athletes to tap back into that inner athlete again to really discover their strength and what they’re capable of and to be able to flip that switch to a positive and empowering mindset so then they could then move on and be role models for the next generation of adaptive athletes to come through the program. I also run my own podcast it’s called the Adaptive Collaborative Podcast. It’s a collaboration between myself and my friend James Norris. He has cerebral palsy. I have a below the knee amputation.

And what we realized is that we have more in common than we were different. And by coming together, we learned so much from each other. And there’s so much power in collaboration and learning from other people’s stories and sharing people’s stories and sharing their stories of empowerment. sharing people’s stories and sharing their stories of empowerment. So it was our COVID project. We already have season one on Spotify and YouTube. Seasons two and three are being edited and being put out there very shortly. I’m also the community resource director of an amazing small biotech called the Liner Wand. It’s a liner hygiene system, but the company stands for more than that. We’re very passionate about building community and better resources for individuals living with limb loss. I run their monthly social. I help them with their social media and Facebook Live and Instagram Live posts to engage the community, to help share their stories.

We bring on different guests weekly onto some of our Facebook and Instagram lives. I help to build out one of the most comprehensive resource sections for anybody living with limb loss. It’s housed on their website and I help to recruit people to write articles talking about important topics that have to do with any aspect of living with limb loss. From what it’s like the day before surgery, for what the feeling is like to take those first steps, to then have a myriad of firsts. So when you lose your leg, you go through life and you have so many new firsts in your life to be able to share those and celebrate those moments. What questions to ask a prosthetist, etc. So really excited about that project. I also work full-time at Spalding Rehabilitation Hospital.

I’m a clinical research coordinator and I work in the Spaulding New England Regional Spinal Cord Injury Center, SNRSC for short, but basically I help run a long-term survey study that will check in with individuals who have undergone traumatic spinal cord injuries at different time points throughout their life so we could gain insight as to different outcomes or paths or are there opportunities for physicians to step in down the line. So we enter all of this data into a national database. There’s 13 centers collecting data and it’s a really exciting project and I’m excited to be a part of it. I am an adaptive personal trainer. I train my own clients. I’ve been certified through Crossroads Adaptive Athletic Alliance, through the Adaptive Training Foundation, the Adaptive Training Academy, and through the American Academy of Personal Training here in Boston. And it’s been really exciting to be able to share my journey of fitness with other people and help them to achieve their goals. So that’s me as a professional.

Ryann

Oh my God, do you sleep or? Holy cow, that is so much, but so amazing. And we’re going to dive into so many of those things, but wow. And I love how you started this with, you know, you’re an amputee, but you’re so much more. And I think that, you know, with so many of the clients that I work with and so many of the women that I work with, it is really trying to figure out how we can be so much more than our bodies. And because we are so much more than our bodies, and it just is the home that allows us to do all of these amazing things that you just described that you do and that we’re able to do, and that is just amazing. back a little bit and I know you said that eight years ago you made the decision to amputate. I can’t even imagine what that decision was like, what was going through your head, like how did you make that decision and then going back to what you just said about all these new firsts, what were those first steps like for you?

Melissa

So I have a long and complex story. So I’m going to try to put it in a nutshell. But there were a lot of events that led up to that ultimate decision. So I was born with a congenital clubfoot. What that meant were my toes were wrapped around my leg bones as an infant. So I had multiple reconstructions as a child. I went through most of life with special shoes and braces But doctors told my parents to get me involved in sports at a young age So I wouldn’t favor the leg what I didn’t realize is that I was actually born an adaptive athlete I just had no idea what adaptive sports or adaptive athletics were so growing up and being involved in sports I knew that I just needed to work twice as hard, even three times as hard at times, to try to keep up with my able-bodied peers.

But I excelled at soccer, basketball, and softball. I was a student athlete. I made the varsity softball team as a starter, as a freshman, and in a state tournament game. I was a go-ahead run on third base. There was a pass ball, pass the catcher. I went for it, slid into home plate, was the winning run. Unfortunately, the plate was raised and my cleat caught the plate full body force and I went into the catcher. The laces of my cleats got caught on the hooks of the shin guards of the catcher and we both flipped. And it completely dislocated my foot and ankle. Completely destroyed the foot and ankle. I had a series of about 16 reconstructive surgeries to try to put it back together. But from that point on, I was basically stuck with chronic pain and a non-functioning foot and ankle. But in medicine, doctors try to save your biological limb and body.

So I went through so many different procedures. I saw so many specialists. Every procedure you could think of for pain. But I didn’t let it stop me. I grew up in a socio-economically challenged family. I grew up in inner-city Lynn. And my ticket to college were through student athletic scholarships. So despite disturbing my ankle, I recapped it to a point where I could athletic tape my leg together. And I continued to play varsity sports throughout high school. I won several student athletic scholarships and finally achieved my dream of attending the College of the Holy Cross bio pre-med. The summer before starting my freshman year, I went in for a major reconstruction on my foot and ankle. During basketball season in my senior year, the plate and screws started to loosen, and they were afraid I was going to refracture the bones. So the minute I walked across the stage for graduation, I went in for a major reconstruction, and if anything could have gone wrong, it did.

I then, from that point on, had another series of reconstructive surgeries to try to put the act together. So I was really excited to attend college as a student athlete and then literally spent most of the four years on the terraced Mount St. James of Holy Cross in a cast on crutches. But didn’t really let it stop me. I graduated by a pre-med. I got experience in the clinic as an EMT. I worked in the emergency room in order to get hands-on experience. I worked in several of the Boston research labs. I worked at Boston Children’s Hospital, at Beth Israel, at Brigham, and Jocelyn, working on different clinical research studies. And then finally attained my ultimate dream from the age of four of attending medical school. I had gone on a medical mission trip to Guatemala and it was completely life-changing.

I lived down there for about a month and I was in a Spanish immersion program where I would learn medical Spanish in the morning and then I would volunteer in the jungle clinic in the afternoon. And for me that was what I was called to do. I wanted to do outreach medicine and work with Doctors Without Borders. So when I had an opportunity to go to American Medical School abroad, I accepted and went to Ross University. It was in the West Indies on the island of Dominica. So the nature island of the West Indies, it was absolutely beautiful and they had a top-rated medical school. I had everything I had ever worked for in my life in the palm of my hand and Less than a year into the program. I woke up with a massive blood clot in my leg That almost cost me my life I struggled to survive on this little blip of an island in the West Indies and eventually was Med flighted to the first US territory territory, which was Puerto Rico.

And had I not learned medical Spanish on my medical mission trip in Guatemala, I wouldn’t have known enough Spanish to be able to save my life and get me home to the U.S. And it was the vascular biology lab that I had done research in that I reached out to who arranged for a med flight for me to come home to Boston. So I am a firm believer that no matter what circumstance life throws at you, if you look back on your experience in retrospect, sometimes there is a reason for certain chapters of your life. So I come home to Boston and I eventually rehab the leg and I’m a very determined, stubborn individual. So they were holding my class spot for the following year if I returned to the island. So I rehabbed enough so that I could go back and I could finish what I started. Get back to the island a year later, I had met my husband. We were dating at the time when I had come home.

So if I had not thrown a blood clot, I would not have crossed paths with my husband. And we were in a long-distance relationship when I went back to school that following year. I needed to stay active so that I wouldn’t throw any additional blood clots in my leg. So I made it, I made an effort one afternoon to go down to the beach. I threw my my beach bag and towel on the sand, and there were two piers, and I swam pier to pier for about an hour. I came out of the water, and I took my towel and dried off every inch of exposed skin. And what they neglected to tell us, I think, so that they wouldn’t terrify us, are that there are parasites that live in the sand on third world island beaches. So I had just rubbed parasites all over every inch of my exposed skin. It’s called cutaneous larva migrans, and they’re parasites that burrow through every inch of your skin. I became very sick.

It took them a long time to be able to diagnose it. And finally, I went to one of the native island doctors who did a skin biopsy and diagnosed it, but it was undiagnosed for about two months. And I don’t know what was worse, thinking that I was crazy, thinking that my skin was crawling, or then knowing that there were parasites swimming through my skin. The medical school, I was sick. I was sleep deprived, and I went into my finals and I failed by one point and had to get on a plane and come home and try to make sense of my life and everything that had happened. For me, that was probably the lowest point in my journey and in my life had led up to that point and I was getting on a plane and coming home to what I felt people would perceive as a failure. And then that was really tough. It took me a little while to kind of get my feet back on the ground again. And at that point my body had been through so much. I had been so sick. I got deconditioned.

The leg continued to deteriorate. And after seeing almost every specialist in Boston, they’re like, you have two choices. We can either help you with the pain by putting you on narcotics and you may live the rest of your life in a wheelchair or you can make an elective decision to have a below the knee amputation. And they had me trial being on narcotics and being in a wheelchair and I was absolutely miserable. I’m like, this is not this is not what I was meant to do. This is not my life. And although amputation was a really tough decision, it was an opportunity for me to maybe get my life back, to get my mobility back. And it was a huge gamble. But my husband looked at me and I had scars all over my leg from all of the surgeries. And he’s like, I never liked that foot anyways.

He’s like, why don’t we trade it in for a better edition? So we did and I went in for my amputation on April 4th of 2013. And waking up from surgery, I felt like the biggest weight in the world was lifted. about becoming an amputee was to make the decision to amputate because you don’t know what the outcome is going to be. And it’s really like diving into the unknown abyss and entering a whole new world. But I was so frustrated with my world at that given moment that it was the same week as the Boston Marathon bombing. So I was in the hospital, I just had my surgery, and the events of the bombing were happening outside my hospital. And unfortunately, I was stuck in the hospital system during all of that chaos. So, usually, the rehab hospital may have four or five inpatient amputees at any given moment, and now they had over 20.

And everybody was critically injured and there were just too many patients and there were resources. And unfortunately, I kind of fell through the cracks and I didn’t get the care or the prosthetic care that I needed initially. And unfortunately, due to the poor fit, my bone pushed through the skin on the bottom because I was walking on the bottom of the hard part of your prosthetic. It’s called a socket. And I needed to go in less than two years later and have another six inches of my leg amputated and start the whole process and the rehab all over again. What I can say is that although that was difficult for me, I made some lifelong friends as a result of being in the hospital at that time. I was very fortunate that I had about 20 really young amputees to do my rehab with. So again, because of tax resources, they put all of our beds in a circle in the gym, and we did all of our rehab together.

So I’m very good friends with Jeff and Pat Kensky, and with Jeff Bauman and Rosanne Sedoya and Heather Abbott and Erica Moon, I’ve gained lifelong friends through that experience. And it was actually through an experience when Heather Abbott then went on to form her nonprofit, the Heather Abbott Foundation, I was at a fundraiser. And one of the recipients of bilateral high heel legs was an athlete who had just finished a training program down in Dallas, Texas. Now, after going through the initial amputation and then having to go back in for the revision, I had become immobile. I had put on weight. I was not the athletic active self that I wanted to be post amputation. And I really struggled trying to get back into an active lifestyle following that really first major revision surgery. And when I met this athlete and heard about this program, it’s called the Adaptive Training Foundation, and it was founded by NFL linebacker David Vibora. He had gone through his own recovery, a shoulder injury, substance use recovery, and started training professional athletes at a gym that he opened with his family down in Dallas, Texas. He then met a quadruple amputee, Sergeant Travis Mills, and asked him if he wanted to come and work out at his gym.

And that was the beginning of the Adaptive Training Foundation, and since then the Adaptive Training Foundation. And since then, the Adaptive Training Foundation, I think they just graduated class number 20 or 21. So Sarah May, who was the award recipient, had just finished training down at this amazing gym that only trains adaptive athletes. And she’s like, I can see that you’re struggling, but I can see that desire and that fire in you. She’s like, please put in an application. I mustered the courage and I did, and I ended up going down and training. This September will be four years ago. I was class 10 and ATF accepts classes of 10 adaptive athletes, five civilians and five wounded warriors and they put you through the most intense military-style, no excuses boot camp. But it’s a boot camp for your mind, your body and your soul. I had never really shared my story publicly up in Boston.

There are a lot of parts of my story that I was ashamed of or felt that it wasn’t worthy of sharing. There was also a little bit of anger and resentment of having lost my leg during the time of the Boston Marathon bombing and I felt in Boston that I can never talk about that publicly. So going down to Texas, they encouraged me to journal my whole story, all the parts of it, even the parts that made me uncomfortable or that I wasn’t most proud of for those for those failures or those things that you felt guilty about or that you had trouble forgiving yourself for. And over the course of the nine week program, I had journaled my entire story and I gave it to the director and he read it and he’s like you need to start sharing this publicly so while I was down at the program I Just one day. I felt me that I wanted to go to a yoga class So I literally googled yoga near me and said that I was going to go to the next yoga class that popped up within the hour and it was a it was at Hot Body Yoga in Frisco, Texas.

And it was a hot yoga flow class. And I think the entire class contained like elite CrossFit athletes that were working on mobility. And here I am. I mean, I’m a little plus size. I’m in great shape. I’m strong. I’m a fitness trainer, but I’ve never been, you know, a smaller frame or your typical yoga athlete. And I’m like, you know what, I told myself I’m going to go. So I show up at this yoga class. And because of all of the training that I put in at ATF over the last, like, few weeks previous, I actually hung in with the class. But it was over 100 degrees. And remember, we’re in Texas, so it was already out, and I’m not acclimated to the heat. Halfway during the class, I had to take my leg off and dump out sweat. Well, the yoga instructor just saw the leg bend, and she thought I broke my leg. And she completely freaked out. I’m like, no, no, it’s okay. I’m just dumping sweat. Like, just keep going. I’ll catch up with you. And she was just like flabbergasted, like, what just happened? And at the end of class, I the entire class sat around the edge of my mat as I was fixing my leg.

And they’re like, you know what, we have a yoga instructor training this weekend, and we would absolutely love for you to come and share your story. And they’re like, the topic is self acceptance and self love. And I’m like, OK, this will be an opportunity to share my story for the first time. But I was still at a point where I was still learning to accept myself and to develop that self-confidence and that self-love. But by going down to Texas and being challenged to take a huge dive way outside my comfort zone. To be able to really process my story and to be proud of my scars and what I had accomplished despite everything that I had been through. For the first time in my life, I really, truly was comfortable in my own skin. like. Friends that I had had for years and family had disappeared. And it was probably one of the most socially isolating experiences. I’m very grateful that I met amazing new people and the limb loss in the greater adaptive community and that I had my rock, my husband by my side throughout it all. But it was really discouraging to not have all of that support. I had three I was not welcome at their weddings. And for me, that was the personal switch.

This happened right before I went down to Texas. And there are basic guidelines for respect for people and just respect for people. And I was not welcome at their weddings. And I was not welcome at their weddings. And I was not welcome at their weddings. And I was not welcome at their weddings. And I was not welcome at their weddings. And there are basic guidelines for just respect for people and just for humans in general. And if they couldn’t respect me for who I was, then they didn’t deserve a place in my life. I got on a plane and I went down to Texas and I met an amazing new second family. And through my experiences down there, I learned to relove myself and to be proud of my scars and to be comfortable in my own skin. So then when I had an opportunity to go and speak at that yoga teacher training, of perfectly groomed, decked head to toe and lululemon, perfectly poised, beautiful women.

And here I am, a plus-sized amputee in front of the room and I was giving them a talk on self-love and self-acceptance. And for me, that was a total turning point in my own journey. I shared my entire story, the highs, the lows, and people laughed, they were on the edge of their seat, there were tears that were shed, and when the camera turned off at the end, they asked if I can stay for a private Q&A. And so many women opened up about how they struggled with not feeling comfortable in in their own skin or for being ashamed of failures or things that have happened in the past. And to be able to stand there and tell them, you know, like, don’t be afraid to fail. Go out and try new things and fail and fail often, because that’s the only opportunity that you’re really going to have to really test what you’re capable of and to be able to achieve greatness. So I gained so much from my experience down in Texas. I came home with a new sense of confidence and self and wanted to be able to bring a piece of what I learned down there home to Boston.

Here I live in the sports, no offense, but we do have some pretty awesome sports teams here in Boston. Medical, I mean we have Harvard Medical School and some of the top hospitals and rehabilitation, wellness, fitness, mecca, technology mecca of the world. And why did I have to get on a plane to go to Texas to get what I felt I should have been able to receive here in Boston. So from the minute my plane landed, I was determined to be able to provide something better. I launched my nonprofit Adaptively Abled Amputees because I felt I’m not the only one that might not have a strong support system and people need to be supported throughout this journey. We would have a monthly support group and then we would have a social activity. We would go out for coffee, for picnics. We started to attract a more active crowd. We went rock climbing, surfing, kayaking, paddle boarding, movie night, game night, pub night. You can think of it, we’ve done it together as a group and it was amazing.

And then finally I And finally, I took a big dive to the deep end and started Adaptively Abled Fitness. And it was Boston’s, it was my version of what I learned down in Texas. And I wanted to bring it home. So again, I recruited the top rehab, fitness and wellness professionals, recruited 10 really inspiring adaptive athletes that felt like there was something missing and wanted to be pushed to be able to achieve their goals. We had a six-week comprehensive program and included personal training, group fitness training, mindset, meditation, yoga. We had physical and occupational therapists, we had massage therapists work on the athletes after their training sessions. sessions and. I saw the power of journaling my story and we worked with a group to journal theirs and to see the transformation that everybody made in a short period of time is probably one of my proudest moments was to stand there and graduate my first class of athletes. able to be in a point where I had moved to a point in my journey where then I could help others through theirs.

We were ready to start another version of the program, and then COVID hit and threw the entire world upside down. And we had an opportunity to lay low and to fold like a lot of organizations in the area did, or I could step up to the plate in a big way and be completely pivot everything into a virtual realm and be able to offer virtual support, activity, wellness and fitness classes. So I’m really excited and proud to say that since March of 2020, we’re now a year in, I have run over 350 Zoom sessions for the nonprofit. We have a Monday morning coffee house. We record our podcasts on Tuesdays. First Wednesday of the month, we have a book club where we read works written by adaptive individuals and we share their story. The fourth Thursday of the month, we have adaptive yoga and meditation. Every Thursday, we have a weekly support group.

On Fridays we have karaoke. Saturday mornings I coach a free, adaptive and inclusive community workout. Saturday night we have game night and on Sundays we have a social hour. And we have exponentially expanded our reach. You were the small little Boston group that got together for coffee initially. And now we have members that have joined us from over 30 states and three countries. And we are about to start our hybrid programming as we start to move into a new gym with a new partnership with other nonprofits in the area. So just really, really excited of the journey and the progress.

Ryann

Okay, Melissa. I have to know how I Mean you went through so much How did you remain positive throughout all of that and say you know what like I’m not gonna let this stop me I’m not gonna let this define me and totally go after everything that you want. I mean, how did you stay positive throughout all of this?

Melissa

I think when you finally hit a point of rock bottom, there’s no place to look but up. And it’s a steady climb and it’s a daily challenge, but every day is a new day and it’s a really important thing to remember. And that is, you have to be ready to be able to take steps towards accomplishing your goals. So when I get overwhelmed and I’m looking at things on a really larger scale or big picture, and it becomes overwhelming for me, or I have a to-do list that’s a mile long, My personal motto is that I put 100% of myself into everything that I do. I choose what I get involved in, but if I’m involved in something, I’m all in. So when I’m working on a project or I have a task or I have something I’m working on, I’m giving my all.

So if I can’t get through the whole list that day, I know that I gave my very best effort and tomorrow is another day to just kind of attack those goals again and do what you can. And then, you know, you’re like, I only did one or two things on my list. But by the end of the month, if you take that moment to take a step back, you get to see all the things you did accomplish and it’s pretty impressive.

Ryann

I love that so much and I think that that is so helpful in a sense of just like making that list and not beating yourself up about it, but also going after what you want. And if it is something that you want, putting your 100% into it. And that’s so good. So I want to know too, what did that journey, I mean, you talked a lot about that journey of like self acceptance and self love, especially after this yoga session and going and chatting with those girls. I mean what did that look like for you as I mean especially growing up as an athlete and then having to totally change your fitness routine not necessarily but like it almost I mean you rephrase it but like starting over in the sense of like you had to reconnect to your body in a new way. So like, what did that look like for you? And what did that journey look like for you?

Melissa

I think what was really important and it’s really hard is to know that your journey is your journey. The minute you try to compare it to somebody else, that’s okay, too. So I was very fortunate that I was able to then return to my high school and walk across that same stage, which was the last time that I walked across with two good legs this past June, and I was the COVID commencement speaker to talk to people about what it’s like to overcome adversity and that if you give yourself grace, you live a life of gratitude, and you put the grit in to do the hard work, you could really overcome any challenge the hard work, you could really overcome any challenge that is thrown before you. So my personal motto is living a life of grace, gratitude, and grit.

So when I get frustrated that I was a little out of shape, I gave myself the grace of knowing that my body had just been through so much and that I would achieve my goals in my own time and that was OK. I might not squat or do things the same way able-bodied people do, and I needed to learn how my body moved. And I couldn’t even compare myself to other amputees because no two amputees are the same. So I needed to learn what was best for me, how my body moved, and take the steps that I needed to to work on my goals. And I think what’s really frustrating in the adaptive community is the average person who’s not exposed to it, they think of somebody with a disability as either one truly being disabled.

Being disabled in the sense that their life is over, they’ve given up This is all that they’re going to amount to or to expecting that we’re going to be superhuman Paralympic athletes and While that’s great And I have so many friends that are on that path and I am their biggest cheerleader And I train athletes that have aspirations of going to the Paralympics. I’m in my 40s, I’m not going to the Paralympics. So the way I train is look, training more towards longevity. So when I was fresh out of the gates, when I was down at ATF and I was pushing sleds and slamming sledgehammers and went rock climbing and snowboarding and ski biking and doing all box jumps and all of these amazing things that I thought I would never be able to do again. It was so exhilarating to be a part of AmpSurf and get up and surf on a surfboard and stand up for the first time.

I can’t even tell you what that feeling of accomplishment because you know all the hard work that goes into it. And then to discover CrossFit. I was never the fastest one on the soccer teams while I was goalie because I had to run the least. I was a good rebounder and blocker. I was always strong, but I had never really discovered a sport that celebrated strength the way CrossFit did. So the first time I found an activity where being strong counted and it was exhilarating and empowering to be able to lift a heavy barbell above your head and a snatch or a clean and jerk. It gave me the sense of empowerment. And sense of accomplishment. And it’s amazing.

Am I going to be able to do CrossFit for the long term? It’s not great for my joints. And I did qualify for the CrossFit Games in 2019. It got delayed because of COVID. And I re-qualified back in November. And if I make it to the Games this year and the next qualifier, I will be ecstatic. However, I’m not looking to be a Games athlete or a Paralympic athlete. For me, I want to be strong. I want to have full mobility and flexibility. And I want to be able to move and accomplish all of the goals in my life, but also preserve my joints. So I recently discovered that I have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. So it’s a very rare connective tissue disorder that affects your collagen. So this is new information.

And as an athlete, I kind of needed to take a step back from my really intense training and take a look at what my long term goals are. My long term goals are to continue to grow professionally, to eventually start a family and to continue to grow the nonprofit. And I needed to scale back my own training to work on things that are going to still work on mobility, flexibility and strength without putting my body in compromising conditions. So I feel like everybody, as we age, we have to take that step back and re-evaluate what your goals are, and make sure that they’re in line with your overall health and your wellbeing as well. So I enjoy training, I enjoy walking my dog, I enjoy a really intense CrossFit workout.

I don’t do them every day of the week. I work on a lot of accessory movements, and I’m an avid yogi, and absolutely love yoga and meditation but I also enjoy trying new sports and new activities. So I’m kind of at that that state of realizing I’m in my 40s and I want my joints to last for the long term but I am so excited to be able to use all of the knowledge that I’ve gained through my own journey to be able. I then went out and got a bunch of certifications so then I can train the next level of adaptive athletes. And I’m really proud to say that while I was not a participant in the very first CrossFit Open Adaptive Division, I trained a bilateral below the knee athlete who was.

And to be on the other side and to be able to coach was an amazing experience and it’s something that I’m really passionate about doing and really excited to see where adaptive fitness and athletics go. It’s a year of the Olympics, Paralympics finally got more airtime on national TV. Really excited to see people with disabilities being represented in the media and for us to be able to compete on an equal stage. And it’s really, it’s an amazing feeling and I’m really proud to be a part of this community.

Ryann

Oh my gosh, it sounds amazing and just everything that you’ve built and you know I think that your journey with fitness and just the way that you approach it is just everything in a sense of like you know this should be something that we enjoy and something that makes us happy and brings us life and not something that we feel like we have to do or something that we dread or something that we need to do to burn calories like it’s about what our bodies get to do. And I feel like you show that so well. So for anybody who is struggling currently to accept the reality of their body, they don’t like whatever is going on with their body, whether it is size, disability, genetic shape, whatever, what advice do you have to help somebody accept their body maybe if they aren’t loving it right now?

Melissa

So I think one thing I do daily and it’s really important for me to wake up every day in the right mindset is gratitude journaling. So if you wake up every day and you write down three things that you’re grateful for it is literally impossible to be grateful and depressed in the same moment. So And if you’re not happy with something, then find somebody to work with you that will meet you where you are. And that’s really important. You don’t want somebody that’s going to push you too hard or that’s not going to be a good fit for you or somebody that’s not going to motivate you. And you don’t want that. So if you’re not happy with something, then find somebody to work with you that will meet you where you are.

You need somebody who’s going to push you too hard or that’s not going to be a good fit for you or somebody that’s not going to motivate you enough. You need somebody who’s going to get you, who’s going to understand you and your goals, who’s going to meet you where you are and then take small steps to help you to achieve those goals in a timely fashion. There’s crash diets, there’s cleanses. Like, I’m not a fan of dieting, I’m not a fan of cleansing. I’m a fan of making good, healthy food choices and habits daily and make them 80% of the time.

Like, nobody’s perfect and you’re gonna fall off the wagon and you’re gonna have that cheat day. this week and I had two lobster rolls and they were wonderful. But I’ve gone on walks every single day, I’ve continued to do my workouts, I coached a class today and then I finished with a workout before I showered to get ready for today’s podcast. So let yourself have those moments of things that you enjoy. But then again, like I said in the beginning, every day is a new day. Wake up the next day and get back on track and just chip away at things, you know, one little tiny goal at a time.

I challenge anybody that I work with is to just change one thing. Pick one healthy habit, whether it be to make sure that you’re drinking enough water or that you’re getting enough sleep or maybe you don’t eat vegetables at two out of three meals, maybe challenge yourself to add them for that second or that third meal out of the day and put it on a calendar. Give yourself a little checklist and if you’re just focusing on changing one little thing at a time, they become habits. Habits create consistency and consistency creates a healthier lifestyle over time.

Ryann

Habits are everything. I definitely stress that so much and I think you’re so right in the sense of just like giving yourself some grace and enjoying like we’re here to live to enjoy life and so when we feed ourselves up for these moments that are adding to our life, that are the special parts of our lives that we’re going to remember, like having a delicious lobster roll on your birthday, like that is what matters. It’s like having these experiences and these moments and I love that so much.

So to wrap this up, so everybody gets to learn about you in a different way that maybe you don’t post about, I have a list of some speed round questions that have nothing to do with what we just talked about. So just answer whatever comes to mind first. Are you ready?

Melissa

I am ready.

Ryann

All right, what is your nut butter of choice?

Melissa

Almond butter.

Ryann

And what do you like to eat it with?

Melissa

I like to eat it with nuts and or a really crisp apple. I like golden apple slices with a little bit of almond butter. Not the chunky, it’s got to be the real creamy.

Ryann

Smooth, yes, yum. What is the worst fashion or hair decision you’ve ever made?

Melissa

I had a perm back in the 90s and while it was sad or crimp ironing my hair, I know it was cool at the time, but looking back I’m like, what was I thinking?

Ryann

What is your biggest pet peeve?

Melissa

Biggest pet peeve are people that don’t work hard. Like I like to surround myself with people who have a hard work ethic because I put so much of myself into everything. Sometimes it burns me because I feel like my expectations are set high high expectations of myself. I try to associate with people who hold high expectations for themselves.

Ryann

Definitely. What did you have for dinner last night?

Melissa

What did I have? Today’s Saturday?

Ryann

Today’s Saturday.

Melissa

What did I have for dinner last night? Last night I had broiled scallops with a side salad and some steamed asparagus. Yeah, I’m from New England. I Absolutely love lobster and I love seafood

Ryann

Me too. Me too. I don’t get to have it often because I live in Wyoming and well, there’s no ocean here. I do enjoy it when I can. Are you the type of person who likes to hear the good news or the bad news first?

Melissa

What was the good news put you in a better better light to receive whatever’s to come

Ryann

This is one of my favorites. What is a food combination that you love but other people would think is weird?

Melissa

When I do cheat on pizza, I like pizza with artichokes and black olives. I have a craving for salty. If I crave anything, I crave artichokes, which is like such a weird craving.

Ryann

Yeah, that’s super random.

Melissa

Olives, cheese, and peanut butter.

Ryann

And do you like thick crust or thin crust pizza?

Melissa

If it’s a cauliflower crust, I like it nice and thin and crispy. And if it’s like a veggie pizza, I like it nice thin crispy. Yeah, I’d say crispy crust, thin crispy.

Ryann

You’re making me in the mood for pizza. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Melissa

I will say that due to COVID, are you saying pre-COVID or prior COVID time?

Ryann

That is a good question. Let’s say pre-COVID.

Melissa

Pre-COVID, I’d say about an hour. During COVID, I can be ready in about 20 minutes, and I actually love the simplicity of it. And I have ditched a whole bunch of things that I used to do before. And again, having an opportunity to take a step back during COVID and just appreciate things that are important. You realize all the time you waste doing things that you don’t need to be doing. So I’ve simplified a lot and I’ve been able to cut that one hour to 20 minutes.

Ryann

Yes. And if you were a coffee drink, what would you be and why?

Melissa

Cold brew iced coffee with sugar-free toasted almond flavor and oat milk. It’s my go-to. It brings me to my happy place and helps me to power through the second half of my day.

Ryann

Sounds so good. Are you like a make-at-home or a Starbucks or a local coffee shop or?

Melissa

Because I’ve been working remote, I’ve really been able to explore some of the smaller coffee shops to be able to help support small business. When I’m usually rushing on the go, I’ll make my own coffee, but since I’ve had a chance to kind of take a step back and slow down a little bit this year. My guilty pleasure are my overpriced cold brew coffees.

Ryann

Yes, yes. Melissa, thank you so much for everything and chatting with us. Please share where everybody can find you.

Melissa

At M-E-L-I-S-S-A-D-E-C-H-E-L-L-I-S. You can follow my nonprofit, Adaptively Abled, A-D-A-A-P-T-I-V-E-L-Y-A-B-L-E-D. You can follow my podcast at Adaptive Collaborative Podcast. We’re on Facebook. We’re on Instagram. Lyme Wasp Awareness Month is in April and we’ll be starting a TikTok channel. You can follow me on Bionic Badass and the nonprofit will probably just be adaptively abled. So stay tuned for that as well.

Ryann

So fun and I’ll have all of those links in the show notes below. Thank you so much again. It was so great hearing from you, hearing your story, hearing your story and everything you had to share. Thank you so much again.

Melissa

Thank you so much. It’s been my pleasure.

Ryann

Oh my gosh, Melissa, hearing your story, that was just amazing. Thank you so much for sharing all of that and just everything that you’ve created and I just so appreciate your perspective and your hard work and just the drive that you have. There are so many people that lack that drive and that’s what makes the difference. Where it’s like, yeah we can’t always control the cards that were dealt to us, but we can control how we play them. And you have definitely chosen to play them in a beautiful way.

Ryann Nicole

Licensed Therapist, Certified Nutritionist, and Virtual Wellness Coach

Ryann is a licensed therapist and virtual wellness coach who has assisted individuals worldwide in establishing a healthier relationship with food and their bodies.

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Ryann is a licensed therapist and virtual wellness coach who has assisted individuals worldwide in establishing a healthier relationship with food and their bodies.