Do you ever find yourself saying if I looked like her, I would be so much more confident? Justifying that you are not confident is that you don't look like her. OR maybe you think I want to lose weight because I'll feel more confident? ORRR, maybe you're even putting your life entirely on hold, telling yourself when I lose weight, I'll finally be confident enough to do that/wear that/go after that. If this is you, look no further because I am about to blow your mind with what will make you more confident (and what is not).
Whenever I ask someone what they believe would be different in their life if they lost weight, they always say, “I would have more confidence.” And although feeling more comfortable in your body can help you feel better in your body and then boost confidence – at the end of the day, confidence has nothing to do with your body. Boosting confidence comes down to mindset. And today, I am sharing what you MUST know about boosting confidence, so you can start stepping into your most confident self TODAY.
01. CHANGE WHAT YOU CONSUME
This can look like changing your social media feed, who you spend most of your time with, what you watch, what you are reading, etc. At the end of the day, if what you are consuming is leaving you feel like garbage – it is a sign it's time to switch things up!
02. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH OTHER CONFIDENT PEOPLE
If you are struggling with your confidence, sometimes just being around somebody else who is confident can help, in turn, boost your own. Confidence is energy that rubs off on others, just like negativity is an energy that rubs off on others. When you surround yourself with people who are sure of who they are and don't worry about the opinions of others – it, in turn, will encourage you to do the same!
03. WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS
It is tough to feel good about ourselves when a voice constantly tells us we are not good enough. You might not have control over your automatic thoughts, but you do control whether you engage.
- When the voice says, “She is so much prettier than you.” Reframe with, “We look different, and we are both beautiful”
- When the voice says, “You're not good enough to do that.” Reframe with, “Everybody starts from somewhere. It's okay if I don't get it right the first time.”
- When the voice says, “You can't wear those clothes in your current body.” Reframe with, “I am allowed to wear whatever I want and feel happy in.”
04. CHALLENGE YOURSELF IN SMALL WAYS
We can build our confidence by showing ourselves that we CAN do something. And the best way to do this is by giving ourselves a small (but doable) challenge to accomplish to show ourselves that we are capable.
(more explained about this in the episode)
05. LET GO OF TRYING TO BE LIKED BY EVERYBODY
The more you try to be liked by everybody, the less confident you will feel. Confidence doesn't come from “They will like me.” Confidence comes from, “I will be okay if they don't.” Letting go of this expectation that we have to be liked by everybody is the key to setting ourselves free.
TLDR; The only way to truly be confident is to be comfortable with your imperfections. The big charade with confidence is that it has nothing to do with being comfortable in what we achieve and everything to do with being comfortable in what we don’t achieve. People who are confident in their bodies are confident because they’re comfortable with what their body is not. They’re not afraid of imperfection because they’re not defining themselves based on their appearance.
- I have cellulite. Okay, that doesn’t make me less enjoyable to be around
- I have rolls when I sit. Okay, that doesn’t make me less intelligent.
- I am not the beauty standard. Okay, that doesn’t mean I am not beautiful
Boosting confidence is not about accumulating as much positivity as you can. This is about being comfortable with the negative and not allowing it to affect you!