053. Why You Can’t Get ‘Control” Over Your Eating

November 8, 2021

Ryann Nicole

Hi, I’m Ryann.

Your Not-So-Average Food Freedom Therapist & Virtual Coach. As a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Certified Nutritionist with a BA in Psychology, and a MA in Professional Counseling, yes I do a little of the "so how does that make you feel".

But my ultimate goal is to provide you with the resources you need, in an easy-to-understand way, on healing your disordered relationship with food and your body. 

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Binge Eating

Healthy Habits

Body Image

Emotional Eating

Mental Health 

Have you ever thought, ‘I don't understand why food is the one thing I have such a hard time controlling?' It's something that seems so simple, right? Like just ‘eat this' and ‘don't eat that' yet when it comes down to it, it's not that simple.. at all. Could the reason be that our food isn't meant to be controlled? The more we try to control, the more out of control we become. Let's talk about it!

Overcoming food struggles isn't about gaining control over food – but rather realizing that this idea is something we create in our minds. 

But here’s the thing… 

  • We are NOT in control of how much energy our body asks for at any given moment 
  • Also, we are NOT in control of what we emotionally need based on each situation we encounter each day 
  • We are NOT in control of our genetic makeup and body composition

And despite what many self-improvement books and Instagrams suggest, we are NOT in control of every reaction to the triggers and environmental stimuli we experience thought out the day. 

We are not robots. We cannot be ‘fixed.’ And we most certainly cannot control what can’t be controlled.  So despite what diet culture has tried to get you to believe, sanity around food doesn't come from trying hard enough to get back in control.  Sanity around food comes from letting go and accepting that the more I try to control my food – the more out of control I will be. Because I cannot control my biological and emotional needs… I can only respond to them. 

Peace around food doesn't from control – it comes from being okay with your food, regardless of what happens with food. It is my mind telling me that I am not okay, that I am wrong, that I am bad.. that fuels this perpetuating cycle of:

  • On the wagon / off the wagon 
  • I am good / I am bad
  • I am healthy / I am unhealthy 
  • I am in control / I am out of control 

So if you're like – ok, Ry, I hear you, and I get that, but now what? How do I do that? 

STEP ONE: let's get clear on what you can do and what you can’t do 

What you can do…

  • Respond to hunger and fullness cues
  • Treat your body with respect even if you do not love everything about it
  • Eat whatever your body asks for
  • Do inner work to help you process and respond to emotions 
  • You CAN let go 

What you cannot do…

  • Chose when you're going to be hungry and when you're going to be full 
  • Reject your body and expect that to help you feel better 
  • Ignore your body's desires, with the expectation that they’ll just go away (bc they won’t) 
  • Change your genetics. You CAN NOT change your past
  • Ignore your body's needs and be okay 
  • You CAN NOT keep doing what you're doing if you want peace with food 

STEP TWO: Zoom in!

All we have right now is this moment. So, how can you respond, take care of, and listen to your body? Let's start there. And in an hour or so, ask yourself that question again. 

As your mind wants to drift into the future, bring it back to the now. The present. Right here. 

Because, again, as long as you try to control, you will have less control. Let go, respond, notice, and above all, remind yourself.. whatever happens with my food… I will be okay! 

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Your Not-So-Average Food Freedom Therapist & Virtual Coach