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🖥 Website:  Sid’s FREE Training on Imposter Syndrome

Episode Transcript

Ryann

All right, well, let’s go ahead and just dive in because I’m so excited to just pick your brain after working with you on the other side of you being able to offer me so much information about mindset, but then like knowing more from you about the power of the mind. I think that it’s something that you can apply to anything, but also something that I feel so looked over, where we focus so much on changing behaviors and things and forget the simplicity of just the power of the mind.

Sid

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, we do. I think that, you know, with that power of the mind, it has the power to make things more complicated than they need to be.

Ryann

Oh my gosh, absolutely. So, Sid, thank you so much for taking the time to come and chat with me today. I appreciate it more than you know.

Sid

Oh, yeah. It’s going to be fun. I’m honored.

Ryann

So for anybody that hasn’t met you yet, can you tell us a little bit about what got you interested in this? I always think, like, when, and maybe this is an assumption, but when we get super interested in a topic or a subject, especially when it comes to like self-improvement and mindset, I mean, there’s a reason. There’s a backstory. Let’s hear it.

Sid

Yeah, no, there’s a backstory, right? It’s like, if that’s the world that you’re into, you must be trying to get away from something. If you’re trying to develop and improve, then like to not be in that place. You know, so for me really, it was just a matter of, you know, trying to figure out why I’m here and trying to have a good time, right? Like, cause I wasn’t having a good time. It’s really what it comes down to. I was pretty successful in my career, you know, at 22. You know, I had everything that I could have ever imagined that I would have for myself way sooner than I would have thought possible. And I was not having a good time. So, you know, depression was a thing, you know, anxiety was a thing, insecurity was a big thing. And I’m like, man, you know, I’ve gotten myself, I’ve gone through a physical transformation where I lost over 70 pounds and gained a substantial amount back, you know, so in really great shape, you know, money’s taken care of, you know, I have, I live, I have the car that I’ve always wanted, you know, nice condo, everything.

And it just, life is not working. And I don’t know, for some reason, I’m like, I’m looking at everyone around me. I’m like, are y’all not seeing this? Like, are you, is this, am I the only one like experiencing this? Like, and I’m, you know, even in my job, so I was, I was counterintelligence and language analyst at NSA, you know, and I’m sitting next to people that are 40, you know, 50. And like, I’m just like, man, this is just, this is what we do. We, we come to our cubicle and then we do some stuff. And then like, we go home. You’ve been doing this for 15 years. I’m looking at their desks and stuff, but I’m seeing stuff that’s on their desks. Probably been there for like seven years. You know, I’m just like, is this where I’m going? I just, I just was so unhappy. So that put me on a path to really figure out like, you know, what am I here to do? Like what what lights me up, you know, and following that has helped me make sense of a lot of different situations that I found myself in.

And I mean, there’s a number of them that we could probably talk about. But the one that comes to mind right now is, you know, when I when I first realized what coaching was, and I felt it in my body, and I got it mirrored back to me, like, yo, you’re in like, some sort of element here, there’s something here that you understand, that like doesn’t have to be taught or explained. It’s just like you get it. And I’m like, Yeah, I don’t know, I’m, you know, I think it was 23 or, you know, 24 in a room of like, you know, a lot of people much older than me trying to find the meaning of life. And here I am, you know, like, yeah, let me coach you guys real quick. You know, like, it was just kind of like, I don’t know. It just, I felt it, you know, and I was like, okay, I want more of that, I want more of that feeling.

And so I started with one area, which was fitness, because that’s one that I knew really well because I tried a lot of diets. I tried a lot of different things unsuccessfully and I got to a point where I realized, okay, it’s less about the diet, it’s less about the specific workout plan, it’s less about, you know, all the different things. It’s really about, okay, what can I stick to? What feels good for me? You know, what feels good and for my body and what still allows me to enjoy life and, you know, things like that. I had to really figure that out for myself. And I’m like, I want to help, you know, people with that because it unlocked a lot of things for me, you know, and then unlocked a lot of things for me.

So that’s where I started. But inside of that, I was like, man, there’s a lot here to why we do things and why we don’t do things. Why we stick with things and why we don’t, and why we sabotage when things seem like they’re improving. And like, just so, I’m like, man, there’s so much here. And here we are. Now I just do that like all day.

Ryann

I love it. I love it. Why do we sabotage things when things are going our way? I mean, just to like dive into it. I think that is right there, some meat.

Sid

Yeah, for sure. You know, I’ll share my experience with it. I’ll share my experience with it. So for example, there’s been, you know, romantic interests, right? Like we all have those. There’s been romantic interests in the past where things are going really, really well. And because things are going really really well. It’s inching towards a place of Wow, this person’s gonna have to really see me in ways that I don’t know that I’m comfortable with and So immediately, you know, I launched into a pattern that I’m not even aware of Of trying to make sure that that doesn’t happen trying to make sure that they don’t get too close. All right, so what that might look like is, you know, feeling irritable for no real reason and not really knowing why, they’re just trying to connect.

Ryann

Yeah.

Sid

Right? Or it might look like forming more surface level relationships with other people so that I can like, distance myself, you know, from over here. Right, so that’s like one example. Another example would be, um, like when I first, when I first started making progress in my, in my business, there was like this idea of like, man, I don’t, I don’t know if I deserve this necessarily. And this is, this is, and this understanding is this, is hindsight understanding too, because it’s not something I understood in the moment. But it was like, okay, things were going well.

And when I circle back into why I completely burned it to the ground, it’s because it was challenging things that I had believed about myself. And if those beliefs that I had about myself were wrong, then what is there? And that’s too much for me to wrap my head around, so just burn it to the ground. And so that’s what I see a lot of times in the women that I work with is it comes back to worthiness of the things that they say they want. And once they start to experience them, falling back into a pattern that’s a little bit more comfortable.

Ryann

Yeah. How do you help somebody develop that worthiness after years and years and years of believing that they’re only worthy with something else attached to it?

Sid

Yeah. So there’s a few ways that I go about it and the way that we kind of co-create that, but the first piece of it is looking at the different scenarios where they form the belief that they weren’t. And forming a new relationship with those scenarios, with the information that’s available to them now. A lot of times we have things that happen to us when we are younger that we didn’t have the toolkit to really deal with, and neither did the people around us. And so, you know, unbeknownst to us, we just form a belief or an internal working model, if you will, of like, well, this is how this works. And this is just what this is. And then we don’t challenge it.

And then we don’t we don’t we don’t challenge it. We don’t question it. And then we can almost immediately see all of the other ways that it has shown up. And we can start to make sense of it. And when there’s some safety present inside of that process, when you can like remove the shame and the guilt of like, why would I do that? You can make yourself available for a totally different experience of like, wow, I can see how I did that. I can see why I did that, man, I could, I, okay, like, this could be totally different. And in fact, looking back at it, it was totally different and I just couldn’t see it. Wow. Yeah. Because here’s the thing, I don’t personally believe, I was listening to one of your podcasts earlier today about you were saying like confidence is a skill.

It’s something that you kind of build and you work and etc. And I don’t disagree with that. But I don’t think that worthiness is the same way. I think worthiness is something that we inherently have about us and then we form an idea otherwise, basically, based on not the things that happen, but the response to things that happen are like lack thereof. How would you differentiate between confidence and worthiness? So the way that I would differentiate between confidence and worthiness is worthiness to me is like the inherent idea that because I exist, I am enough.

And that has nothing to do with anyone else. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It has nothing to do with your external circumstances. It just is, right? Now, confidence on the other hand is almost like your ability to do something with that. Right? Do some, put that into action, or like put it on display, right? Actually exercise it. That’s how I would differentiate. Yeah, because I’ve been confident. I’ve been so confident without owning my words.

Ryann

Okay, okay. Because I was going to ask, do you think it’s worthiness comes first and then confidence but you just said it the other way around?

Sid

Yeah, I think it depends on-

Ryann

It’s kind of like a chicken or the egg situation.

Sid

I think so. I mean, I personally think so. Yeah, because because, yeah, I think it’s I think it just depends. On the person really and their experience, you know,

Ryann

Yeah, yeah. So if we’re talking about let’s take a personal example that you can help us work through. So if there is someone who believes I am only worthy when I’m in a smaller body, how would you begin to unpack that from, let’s say, a childhood belief that they were shown by their parents a lot more, a lot more just like, you know, comments, a lot more involvement when they were in a smaller body and that kind of turned off when they were in the larger body.

Sid

So how would, like, how would you begin to impact that?

Ryann

Yeah. And how would you like redevelop that with that belief from childhood?

Sid

Yeah. So the first thing that I would do is go into the body of that person with them and help them understand what they made that mean. Because I have no idea, like what they made that mean. And so if it’s kind of-

Ryann

What they made those comments mean?

Sid

Yeah, what they made those comments mean, but also like what they made it mean that maybe some of those comments went away, right? Like what’s going on there? Because even they might not necessarily know, but a part of them does know, right? And we have to access that. That’s always the first step, you know, and that’s always the first step. But honestly, after that, and after you make sense of what’s going on with that, it’s just like with any other, you know, belief that you want to shift. One, it requires some element of faith because you’re trying to believe in something that you can’t necessarily see. Like, okay, maybe I am just as worthy in a bigger body or I am just as worthy in a smaller body, like whatever direction. I asked the question, okay, so if you’ve been feeling that, you know, you’re not as worthy in a smaller body, ask the question, wait wait till you get an answer.

How could I feel worthy in a smaller body? And you don’t stop until you have some sort of answer. And then once you have an answer, you do something with that answer. And this is what I do, and I’ll give a different example for money because I think it makes it easier for most people to understand. Everyone understands money, but maybe not everyone necessarily is, depending on where people are in their body journey. I’m not quite get how this works, but let’s just say I could never make $10,000. I don’t know that I’m worthy of $10,000. Okay, well, let’s ask the question. How could I cause $10,000? Or how could I make $10,000? Or how could I feel good about $10,000?

And you sit there with yourself and maybe it takes a day, maybe it takes a week, but you sit there and look for different possibilities. And then once you move towards them very quickly, your perspective and your belief is gonna change. And I think you did a great example of that when you were like, okay, you don’t feel comfortable in the bikini. Well, how could I feel comfortable in a bikini? Well, you start to rack your brain. Well, at some point I’m gonna have to put it on. Like that’s there. Like I’m gonna have to put it on, right? And then maybe I just wear it like in my room or maybe I wear it, you know, you said, find a safe space, right? So maybe that is like, you know, somewhere that’s not like super busy, like whatever that means for you.

Ryann

Right.

Sid

But you ask that question, then you start to take action based on the answers that you get.

Ryann

Yeah. How does action help change belief?

Sid

It gives you experience. Yeah, it gives you the experience that you can feel. Like, simply put.

Ryann

Right.

Sid

Yeah.

Ryann

Yeah. I think that I know for me, that used to be something that kept me stuck is I would focus so much on the beliefs and wanting to change, but I would never do anything different. And I would wonder why I’m still struggling with this thought and this feeling, but I I was still partaking in the same behaviors and recognizing we can only change the mind so much without changing the behaviors as well.

Sid

Yes. And I just, I love to look up words and see, you know, so to really help understand this, right? But if you define the word knowing, it means one definition is the state of being aware or informed, right? Or done in full awareness or consciousness.

Ryann

Aware, I love that word.

Sid

Yeah, so if you’re actually living it and you like you put yourself in the position to live it, like, okay, that’s how you go into like believing. That’s how I see that. That’s how I see that. But if you don’t do that, then you use faith and then you trust on the other side that you’ll step into knowing.

Ryann

And then go from there. And I think going back to your point of, I am enough simply for being here. I know too, a lot of the girls that I work with and just the woman in this space in general just really struggling with that concept of enoughness and feeling like they need to change something or do something different to prove that they’re enough instead of How do you help someone with the I’m not enough narrative?

Sid

Yeah, okay, so the way that I help someone with the I am not enough narrative is give them more of that awareness that we talked about. Give them more of that consciousness that we’ve talked about. Because chances are, if you’ve lived any amount of life, there’s several instances where this idea of you being worthy or people reflecting back to you that you’re worthy has been lived, but you were not aware or conscious of it. So let’s look at that. And so that’s really the first piece, but it’s not necessarily enough to have like a big sheet of evidence. It’s not necessarily enough because there’s still gonna be that part of you that doesn’t believe it. There’s still going to be that part of you that doesn’t believe it. So again, we have to go there. We have to go to that part of you and understand where does that come from? Like where does your lack of belief in that come from?

Ryann

Yeah, why don’t I believe it?

Sid

Yeah, why don’t I believe it? But even like more than that, kind of separating yourself from that, like what part of me doesn’t believe it? Like where is that inside of myself? Because that’s really, I believe we’re just made up of different, you know, we’re made up of different parts. And I believe that depending on what we’re experiencing determines like what part of us is going to show up in any given moment. And so the easiest way to go to it is look back at a situation where you felt really unworthy. Right? And so like sometimes when I’ll ask someone like, we’ll just be casually throwing up a conversation and we’ll be talking and then suddenly I’ll hear something like, where an indication of like, they felt unworthy about something and I’ll stop right there. I’ll be like, wait, how did that make you feel?

You know, and then we’ll start to look at what’s going on in their body. And then we’ll ask their body, okay, cool. What’s the earliest time you remember feeling this feeling? And it’s almost instant, almost all the time. It’s like, oh, I was like, for some reason I’m hearing the number four, I’m hearing the number six. I don’t know why. And I’m like, okay, well ask. Because you’re getting information. You’re getting information. So ask, ask that information, ask that knowing. And then though, and then suddenly, and then though, you know, suddenly it’s like they get this glaring image of something that happened when they were like six that they haven’t thought about since then.

And it’s like, oh man, ooh, that ooh, you know? And we can start to bridge the gap, we can start to restore the connection of whatever that situation may have been to like where they are now. And there’s like an emerging, you know, field out here of like body intelligence where we can talk to our body and it talks back.

Ryann

Yeah, yeah, I mean, and we definitely don’t give our body enough credit for it. And I think, too, recognizing the fact that our body holds on to so much of that emotion where part of you taking someone back to their childhood, it’s not just a thought, it’s a body experience.

Sid

Correct. That’s exactly what it is. It’s a body experience. I think it’s Dr. Peter Levine defines trauma as unresolved emotions that wreak havoc on our nervous system, which is like on our body. I think that was him. And that’s really what it is, but so often we won’t go there with our bodies to resolve those emotions.

Ryann

Why do you think?

Sid

Because we’re afraid. One, we’re afraid. Two, we’re afraid because we think we’re gonna get stuck inside of those feelings or those emotions. And three, we might simply just not know how. Yeah. And that was my experience. You know, being someone who, you know, did the type of work that I did, it was just like highly intellectual, like always in my head, constantly analyzing, sitting, you know, for hours at a time. And then, and then seeing things that I’m not supposed to have emotions about, right, like doing that for a long time, it’s like, you get really, really disconnected. And then you start having these emotions that get so overwhelming, because you don’t, you’re not, you don’t have the tools to deal with them and you’re always in your head, you think something’s wrong, right?

And so for me, my first course of action was like, man, there’s these emotions coming up in my body. I don’t know what they are. I don’t know how to deal with them. I think something’s wrong. I go to a doctor and I describe them. Doctor’s like, oh, you have anxiety. You have depression. Okay, take these medications. See if those feelings subside. Okay, and so at that point, I never really understand why those things are happening, and I don’t even have the tools or the ability to deal with them.

Ryann

Yeah, yeah. So if you don’t have the tools, like you were never taught, and you learned at a young age, food makes them go away, but they don’t actually go away What happens when you come home and you’re stressed or you are experiencing this extreme emotion? Don’t know what to do go to the food. What happens to that emotion?

Sid

It gets sedated Yeah, that’s exactly what happens It gets sedated and replaced with something else usually some form. It’s usually safety, connection, you know, nurturing in some capacity. There’s very real things that happen, you know, from a chemical standpoint, right, that happens when we eat certain things. You know, so it’s a very, very real experience, right? Like I think, especially like, for instance, you know, sugar activates the same way that opiates do. It’s a legitimate sedative and we can get addicted to it. It’s not sedative, but it feels good. It feels good. Like, oh my gosh, I want more of that. And so that’s what happens. And it takes, you have to, this was my experience, you have to reach a certain amount of pain to break out of that. Unfortunately, that seems to be the way it goes. And I think Dr. David Buss, who’s like a famous, you know, psychologist or whatever, he was like, at the age of 26, every year after the age of 26, in order to change your behavior, you have to experience more pain.

Ryann

Yeah.

Sid

Yeah. And so for me, that’s what happened. And I’m sharing that now because I’ve gone through that experience of like, I couldn’t get over ice cream. Like I could not get over ice cream for the life of me. And it was like, it was always there, you know, for me. Right. And I’m like, whenever I’d be doing good on something, but I’m dealing with some emotions. It wasn’t even a conscious thing. I just noticed, man, I’m just, I really want some ice cream right now and I’m just gonna eat it. I’m just gonna go for it. And then feeling bad afterwards, it’s like, dang it, I said I was gonna do this, I’m working on it, I’m trying to do this, I’m trying to reach this goal, I’m trying to do this, and I did it again and I don’t even know what’s happening, what’s wrong with me.

You go through this whole process uh and what I what I came to realize through doing some of the stuff that we talked about here when I you know when I got in touch with my when I finally got to the point where I just I I couldn’t take the pain and frustration anymore I had to have an answer and when I looked for that answer I got it and that answer was well you you eat ice cream when you feel lonely and you’re lacking connection, right? And suddenly, like I can give myself the free drugs that ice cream would give me by just one, even having that moment of awareness, this acknowledge that I’m lonely, suddenly makes you less lonely.

But also too, you know, giving yourself a hug or sending a text message to a friend or, you know, calling someone or just going somewhere where there’s people, like suddenly, you very quickly see there’s a different way. I don’t wanna say better, a different way to get the need met.

Ryann

Yeah, yeah. So going off of that, I wanna ask you, do you think that it was that you were really addicted to the ice cream or you were addicted to the feeling that ice cream gave you, the feeling of being relieved of your emotion?

Sid

I would say for me, it was actually just the really deep rooted fear of feeling lonely.

Ryann

Yeah.

Sid

Because that was just a really unsafe thing.

Ryann

I love that you bring that up because I think that so often we deflect with food saying I’m addicted to sugar, I can’t eat this thing without losing control and realizing that usually most of the time that is just a symptom of the larger problem. The larger problem that I’m lonely, the larger problem that I’m stressed. Is the problem that you’re emotionally eating over being stressed or is the problem that you’re so stressed you don’t know what to do with it. And so I think that that power of like emotion regulation, it’s a superpower, it’s a skill. And I don’t know why we’re never taught that, but we go into this blame mode of like, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I put this ice cream down? Realizing, going back to your initial point, I don’t know how to deal with this stress because I was never taught.

Sid

Yeah. Yeah. We’re, we’re not taught. We’re not taught how to deal with them. And what we are taught instead is that they’re bad.

Ryann

Yeah.

Sid

That’s what we’re, especially, you know, from my perspective, I’m definitely taught that they’re bad. Right. Don’t raise your voice or anything like that because you’re dangerous. This messaging I got is a man who presents himself that I do. It’s dangerous. It makes people uncomfortable. It scares people. So don’t do that. But also, don’t cry or frown because you’re weak. So your options are I’m either weak and soft, or I’m dangerous and aggressive. So what I’m left with is just this shell of a man. This is what I’m left with. That’s basically my option, right? And so we’re taught that they’re bad. And I think even, you know, definitely women get the same messaging in different ways.

You know, this idea that if you do express some sort of emotion, like, oh, you’re just this emotional, you’re too much, like, oh my gosh. So, not only are we not taught how to deal with our emotions, but we’re taught that they’re bad. And there’s also this idea that the majority of Western medicine as we know it, was formed with a very different perspective on the relationship between the mind and the body. Darwin understood that there’s a connection between the mind and the body, but there was an overemphasis placed on the mind. But what we know now, actually, in terms of mindset, what mindset really means is, is body, nervous system, emotions, that’s what mindset really is.

And now we know, with like, for with polyvagal theory, for instance, 80% of the communication that goes on inside of our body is inside of our nervous systems from the body to the brain. And so if we’re not figuring out what’s going on in our bodies and inside of our emotions, we’re missing a huge piece of the picture. We’re missing a huge piece of awareness around our overall experience.

Ryann

Yeah, yeah. So how do we bring that awareness back? Like what are the first steps if somebody doesn’t even know what to do?

Sid

The first steps if someone doesn’t even know what to do is start small. And when I say start small, what I really mean is being okay with noticing and acknowledging how you’re feeling or like what’s going on in your body. And that’s what I, that’s it. And that’s something that you can do yourself and that can literally be like you sit back, you know, you close your eyes for a moment and you just ask, okay, what am I noticing right now? How am I feeling right now? And making it real. So you make it real by writing it down. This is what I’m noticing. This is how I’m feeling. Like you can really start that small and what I found is even that alone can ground someone in such a way to be able to really see how they’re feeling and what’s going on. You know, and that to me is the first step.

But depending on like what your situation is, if you’re able, I would say the first step is finding a therapist or finding, you know an emotional regulation intelligence, whatever type of coach and In and have that conversation. Hey, I want to have better rapport and better connection with my body and my emotions Can you can you help me if you’re able to do that? and also books books, like reading books, like the books that have really helped me with this is the body.

Ryann

Yeah, let’s hear some of your faves.

Sid

Yeah, let’s, so I’ll keep, these are my three faves right here. These are my go-to’s, these are my life changers, bibles. So we’ve got the right use of will here, which is healing and evolving the emotional body. Oh my God, I’ve never read that. This is an incredible book. One of the things that this book taught me is that we have a lot of emotional experiences stored in our bodies that we can’t articulate with words. Things that were happening to us when we’re two, when we’re three, when we’re four, we don’t have words. We have movement. We have sounds, we have noises.

And so that really helped me normalize and be okay with, I’m not sure what’s happening here. I’m crying, I’m yelling, I’m, you know, I’m shaking, whatever that is, but that is communication. That is me resolving something, right? And I don’t have, I don’t have to know what it is. Right. And it normalized it for me. So that’s this book really about just the emotional body and how spiritual it really is. And of course, this one.

Ryann

Classic.

Sid

Classic, yeah. And then this one here, levels of energy is…

Ryann

Oh, that is thick.

Sid

It is so good. And I’ll read it to you right here. Helps individuals optimize their performance, awareness, and to ascend to higher states of consciousness. This is how you access the many versions of you and you can attract other experiences into your life by accessing higher versions of yourself.

Ryann

Wow, that’s powerful. Yeah. Oh, I love that. I’ll have all those linked in the show notes so people can check them out. The last thing that I would love to hear your perspective on like just going off of emotions and noticing what is actually going on something that I work with a lot of people with is breaking down the fat feeling and you know, recognizing the fact that that is not a feeling what are you actually feeling? Let’s get very clear on what you are feeling and a lot of things that come up usually comes back to the fear of judgment, the fear of being judged. And a lot of struggles with food and body really stem out of just, I’m just afraid of being judged because I have before and I want to avoid that. How do you begin to work away from the fear of judgment and just embracing the fact that judgment is just always going to be there?

Sid

Yeah, the easiest way to get over, you know, the fear of judgment is to be in a position where other people’s opinions for better or worse don’t matter, they don’t give or take anything away from you. That is really it. That’s really it, because if you’re not in that place, if someone has a judgment, it can take something away from you, right? And on the flip side, if you’re not in that place, if someone has something good to say about you, it can give you something. And so if that’s the place that you’re in, you know, it’s a slippery slope. Based on what other people say, you can feel really good or you can feel really bad. Right, and this is what I call living, you know, from the outside in, where the outside determines the experience that you’re having on the inside.

But when you talked about the power of how powerful the mind is in the beginning, what that really is about is like, no, what’s going on inside is what’s gonna determine your, what’s going on outside. If you choose to be a conscious co-creator in that process. So that’s what it comes down to. And you have to figure out, okay, what do I need then? How can I get to that place? How do I get to that place where if someone says something good, okay, doesn’t change anything. If someone says something bad, okay, doesn’t change anything, right? And so we have to figure out, well, why has it been so necessary for me to exist that way?

Ryann

Right. Do you think that comes back to just having a better foundation of who you are. Like I know who I am, so what you say doesn’t matter. And what you don’t say doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, like I decide that.

Sid

Yeah, it’s really coming home to your truth, but also you consciously looking at what’s the experience that I want to have and like how do I want to feel. Recognizing that you have a choice. And so often I think we feel like we don’t have a choice. And we like to place responsibility for how we feel in the hands of other people. Well, so-and-so did this, so this is how I feel. Wait, hold on. Did you forget that you had a choice? Why are you choosing that? Because they said this, this is how I feel. Why are you choosing that? Okay, well, you’re choosing it because you must get something out of it. What are you getting out of it? Oh, that’s what you’re getting out of it?

Ryann

You are hitting the hard truth right now.

Sid

All right, if that’s what you’re getting out of it, then give that to yourself. Figure that out, right? And that’s the, that’s not easy. I understand, like that’s really not easy. But at the same time, it doesn’t require any more effort. Right, like you, it doesn’t require any more effort to take responsibility for the experience that you’re having. Yeah. It’s just a different choice.

Ryann

Right. So it’s not like you’re making me feel bad. You made a judgment and I get to choose. Am I going to hold on to that and let it define me or am I going to let it go? But that is my choice. You’re not making me feel bad.

Sid

Right. Yeah.

Ryann

That’s powerful.

Sid

Yeah. And that, how do you get to that place? Well, you again, you have to, you have to make it a practice of training yourself until that is the norm for you. And so that is the default for you. So that is like, you know, your honest truth, like not just something you think about, but in your body, that’s the truth.

Ryann

Yeah. Yeah.

Sid

And yeah.

Ryann

I mean, going off of that too, I was just reading something recently that I hadn’t really put into perspective before, but the article was talking about how to separate your struggles from who you are. So instead of saying, I am sad, start saying, I feel sad. Instead of I am angry, start saying, I feel angry because you are not angry. You’re not sadness. You feel those things and separating those from who you are, I think too, can help in what you were just saying about making the choice of, you know, letting go and feeling a certain way.

Sid

Yeah, and I love that and I actually take that one step further.

Ryann

Okay.

Sid

Yeah, because I feel sadness is still claiming some sort of ownership over it.

Ryann

Oh, okay. So what do you do?

Sid

So I instead say sadness is present. Wow. Sadness is here. And what that does is that reminds me of how one how powerful I am, but also to I’m having a human experience, but there’s more to me than that. There’s more to me than that. Because if you take my, you know, you take my brain away in different capacities, but there’s still something happening. There’s still something here. It’s like this idea of you, mind and body aside, there’s a consciousness, there’s a you, right? So I do my best to operate from that place. And so when there’s an emotional experience, I’m like, ooh, sadness is here, okay. Noticing that I’m not going to go into that feeling, but I’m going to be with that feeling. And when you’re operating from that place, regardless of what emotions are present, you can still do and be who you want to be.

Ryann

Yeah.

Sid

But you can also honor that they are there without like invalidating them or trying to bypass them or trying to sedate them or anything.

Ryann

Right.

Sid

And you can also start to form better relationships with the emotions. Like, oh, what’s, oh, sad, oh, sadness, you’re here. What’s good? It’s, you know, it’s been a while.

Ryann

Yeah.

Sid

Like, what brings you? What, okay, that’s what’s going on. Oh, baby, okay, you know what? Listen, I get that. I feel you on that, like that’s real. Okay, so what do you wanna do about it?

Ryann

Yeah.

Sid

Oh, you wanna cry? Okay, you know what, that’s cool. Let’s, you know, that’s okay. Well, let’s go ahead and we’ll take that time.

Ryann

I love that perspective so much and just embracing it and learning to manage it.

Sid

Yeah. And then really learning to love it. Learning to accept it. Learning to appreciate it. Like man, I’m so human. I’m so, I’m so, I’m so human. I’m so messy. I’m so imperfect. I’m so prone to all sorts of different things. I’ve got a history about me. You know, I’ve got ancestry about me that’s got certain experiences that are a part of me. Like, wow, there’s so much here. And, like, really coming to love and appreciate that, you know.

Ryann

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. So well said. I mean, I could talk to you forever, but just in the interest of time, for anybody who is listening that is, again, really working on the belief of, I am enough, I am worthy, regardless of the size of my body. Any last words of wisdom for them to kind of like hold on to as they are embarking on this journey?

Sid

The last word would be have fun with and appreciate the journey. That’s what I would say. Don’t take it so seriously. Don’t take yourself so seriously. And that’s what I would have to say on that. You know there’s this really fun idea of neurons that fire together, wire together. Well, you can have fun with this process. That is possible at the same time. And ask yourself that question, you know, how can I enjoy this process today? How could I enjoy this journey today? And again, if you don’t have an answer right away, that’s not an excuse. Like, be patient and ask again and ask again and ask again until you get an answer. And just have fun with yourself. Don’t take yourself too seriously. And you’re gonna be all right. Like you’re gonna be okay.

Ryann

You’re gonna be okay. I love that. Thank you so much, Sid. Where can everybody find you to connect and learn with you more?

Sid

Yeah, they can hit me at IamSidScott at Instagram. That’s Sid with an I. And I’ve got some great resources. I’ve got some free masterclasses and workshops that literally take you step-by-step through a lot of the process that we talked about that are a little bit too much to condense into a podcast episode. So if you really want to go deeper, you can do that by connecting with me there.

Ryann

I love that. Thank you so much again for taking the time. I appreciate you so much and all of your wisdom.

Sid

Yeah, I appreciate you.

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