106. A Diet Recovery Story ft. Allie Bourgeois; @make_life_peachy

November 9, 2022

allie landry

Hey There, I'm Ryann Nicole.

I’m a recovered binge eater who changed the story from something that happened to me to something that happened for me. Now, I’m a licensed therapist teaching you to do the same.

My mission? To help you ditch food stress and live your life with mental peace and freedom every single day!


Connect with Allie

📲 Instagram: @make_life_peachy

📲 TikTok: @makelifepeachy

🖥 Website: makelifepeachy.com

Other:
Free Guide: https://makelifepeachy.com/free-guide
Free Discovery Call: https://my.practicebetter.io/#/5f052aed2a90290768274ef3/bookings?s=5f0f398e2a9c24121005c1ab&step=date

Episode Transcript

Ryann

Hello everybody, welcome back to the Food Freedom Lab. You guys, I’m just like grinning ear to ear right now because I have Allie back with us and Allie doesn’t know this, but her episode right now is episode 106 and her first episode was six. So it has been a hundred episodes since I’ve had Allie back. So if you wanna listen to our first episode together, a year, no, two years ago when we were babies. That is number six.

And now I have Allie back and we are going to change things up. So when she came on before, she dropped so much knowledge on food fears and how to figure out whether things are a fear or a preference and navigating that. And now we’re just gonna have like a real live conversation about how she lives and how I live in this world as a professional, and how she navigates things with all of the knowledge that she has. So Allie, thank you so much for coming on today.

Allie

Oh, thank you so much for having me back. I did not realize it was exactly 100 episodes. How cool.

Ryann

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I definitely like made that on purpose, but I was like, I have to, I have to. That’s perfect. So, Allie, for anybody that doesn’t know you, this is the first time that they are connecting with you. Will you just first give us a brief, cliff notes version of your story, kind of your prior relationship with food, what was going on there, and then also how you got interested in dietetics, because Allie’s a registered dietitian.

Ryann

So I think most people, their stories start with like their mom was dieting, or they saw their parents, or in their home life it started those types of like restriction, or they saw, you know, their parents dieting. For me it started with school and comparing myself to my friends. In fifth grade was the first time I remember myself like analyzing my body in the mirror and kind of comparing myself to what I saw in like movies and the media, not really friends yet. And then sixth grade was when I started comparing myself to friends. I think that was the first time that I restricted.

One of my friends actually told me she was doing a diet where she was eating like a tortilla and water for dinner. And so I was like, okay, I’m going to start eating a tortilla for dinner, which obviously didn’t last because I was hungry. But then, you know, through junior high and high school, I really was approaching it more from like, I’m into health, I’m into fitness. And I didn’t realize that the obsession with health and fitness, and what my body looked like actually wasn’t healthy. And so it turned into, okay, I’m going to do a vegetarian diet, because that’s like healthy, but I think underneath it was really like trying to be as small as possible. I did that too.

Right? Like due to just feeling insecure in comparison and whatnot. And so I was really obsessed with nutrition, healthy eating. I was obsessed with fitness. Oh my gosh, I was so active in high school, but really insecure, like really, really insecure. And then my story of finding out I could be a dietitian is kind of sad. I was obsessed with health and wellness and everything, but I went to college and I didn’t know that a registered dietitian was an option. I didn’t really know it was a job, honestly. And so my freshman year of college, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. And that was my first time meeting a dietitian was at her appointment. And I was like, wait, you can do this for a job? Like you can just talk about nutrition and food and health and all like you can do that all day.

Okay, I want to do that. And the next week I changed my major. So I do truly love like health, nutrition and a science. I’m into it. But part of it was also just the obsession with like, how can I be as small as possible? Can I learn like the best diet, like really like kind of the obsession of it, but also I do genuinely like the science and everything too. So through college, I think it was that disordered relationship with food, that obsession with health, the restrict binge cycle, right? And then in my grad school is when I kind of took a step back and I started hearing about intuitive eating and I thought it was another diet. And I decided to look into it. I thought that you don’t track macros, you count calories. And I freaked out and I backed out. I was like, nope, that’s not going to work for me.

There’s no way. And then maybe like a year or two later, I realized, you know what, like my relationship with food isn’t a good one. And I want to help people with food and their relationship with food. Like I have to work on it myself first. And so I kind of took the journey on on my own and it took a long time and I took it really slow, but I relearned how to become an intuitive eater and got to kind of combine that with what I learned about nutrition, what I learned in school. And now that’s what I get to help people do. So I feel like I rambled. I hope I answered your question.

Ryann

No, you totally did. Thank you so much for sharing that. So I have to know, with you growing up in a family where you saw a healthy relationship with food and food was abundant, did you ever feel like guilty or was there any shame around like, why am I struggling with food when I grew up in such a positive food environment?

Allie

Yeah, you know, that it is, it’s a little bit weird to me. But you know, we’re surrounded by diet culture.

Ryann

Yeah.

Allie

It’s kind of sad that even if your parents do a good job of not commenting on food, providing all foods, like really doing a great job to enforce, like you’re enough exactly as you are and whatnot. That like you still go out in the world and you still are impacted by what you see and hear from friends and the media. And so I think I did a good job of hiding it. But also I think that it’s praised. I think that like my family and my friends were like, you’re so disciplined, you’re so healthy, like you love this, like wow, go you. And like the disordered habits were praised. But at the same time, I don’t think they really knew how insecure I was feeling or if I was struggling or not, because on the outside, it’s like, oh, you’re so disciplined, you’re so healthy.

Ryann

Yeah, I so appreciate you saying that, because I know that I have a lot of clients that have shared, I grew up in a home where there was a healthy relationship with food and nothing was restricted. And so I don’t understand why I’m struggling with this so much and kind of just like minimizing their feelings around like why they feel the way that they do. And I think that just to your point, we are surrounded by it. So with that being said, I would love to know because you are a professional and you are in this space. Well, first and foremost, as you started to let go of the dieting and then step into more intuitive eating, how did you navigate the surroundings around you living in a diet culture world?

Allie

Oh man, it was hard. It was really hard because I wasn’t sure about intuitive eating. I wasn’t sure if I could trust my body. And so I had a lot of friends that were into like the health, the fitness, right? That now I see a lot of those behaviors as like, oh, we thought we were being so healthy, but it was so disordered. And that was also like my identity. And so not only was I starting to kind of question it and challenge it, but like, it was who I was. And so it was hard as I started to move away from it. Like I was known for being that girl who was disciplined and never missed a workout and, you know, ate super quote unquote healthy and whatnot.

And so as I started to move away from it, it was difficult because not only are we all surrounded by diet culture, but like that was my life, that was my identity. And so I think it took a lot of time to redefine health to me, right? So maybe before it was like never missing a workout and now it’s like, wait, wait a second, like it’s not healthy to be stressed or anxious over missing a workout. Like rest is also healthy and I’m allowed to rest. And so kind of redefining what health meant to me was a big thing, but it was difficult because I had just surrounded my life with it, you know?

Ryann

Totally. Did you have to let go of some friends or maybe put some boundaries around some people as you were doing that?

Allie

Yeah, so I think I had to put some boundaries up. I didn’t really have to lose friends, I wouldn’t say. I, and still to this day, I try to accept people for where they’re at in their journey because everybody’s on a different journey, right? And so, you know, having to remember even today, like when I meet, you know, a new friend or something, if they’re on a diet or if they’re unaware of how diet culture is influencing them, I kind of just remind myself like, hey, you were there once and you weren’t ready to hear about intuitive eating. And so giving people compassion, knowing that it’s not their fault that we’ve all grown up in this diet culture world and like meeting them where they’re at on their journey, but also putting up those boundaries of like, hey, right now, talking about dieting is triggering. They’re like, please don’t make comments about, you know, my body exercise food or like, I am really good at changing the subject now because sometimes I just don’t have the space or the energy to kind of, you know, have the conversation, you know?

Ryann

Especially if they’re not willing to hear it, I think that that has been something that I’ve had to kind of just like come to terms with that not everybody is gonna hear it. And if they’re not open to hearing it, it’s just wasted energy because nothing’s gonna happen. Boundaries are hard. And I love how you say, you know, meeting them where they’re at. And I know that in the beginning of recovery, or even now when people talk about it, it can be tough to hear. I know something for me as well is I always use it as just like such a good reminder of what I used to be like, or like what my main focus used to, you know, used to be or what I used to sound like, just as a reminder of like, do I want to go back there? Or is it worth going back there? Because when I was in it, I didn’t hear it. Like, I didn’t hear how much I talked about food, or I didn’t hear like, you know, how my tone was, or I didn’t hear the judgments that I made because I was so in it. And when you get out of it, you can start to hear it. And then it’s like, whoa, this is such a good reminder of like, where I was before.

Allie

Oh yeah, absolutely. It’s kind of crazy to see people that are where I used to be and think like, oh my God, I used to believe that with all my heart, like I used to be there. And so that helps me have compassion for them and then remind myself like, wow, like I never want to go back there.

Ryann

Totally, totally. So with that being said, do you still face, well, let’s talk food first and then we’ll talk body. Do you still face food triggers? Like, do you ever experience anxiety or fear around food or have any sneaky diet thoughts that come up?

Allie

Honestly, not really, no, which is like amazing to say, but food, like, I think the beliefs are just so solidified that like all food is nourishing, all food provides energy. Food is really not good or bad. I think that it’s just the belief is so solid that I and I I don’t Restrict and I’ve worked on this for so many years that at this point It’s like no food is just food

Ryann

How long has it been just to like put in perspective for those that are on this journey?

Allie

Oh gosh, probably six years

Ryann

Okay. Okay. Yeah, I Just want to make sure that that is put out there because I know it’s so easy to see Okay, like wow, Allie has this great relationship with food and now we’re feeling, it’s been six years.

Allie

Yeah. And this is something that I talk about every day, right? Like with clients, I talk about this every day. This is my job. This is what I preach. And so it’s like, you know, a constant reminder for me because it’s my job. It’s what I do. But like the timeline that it takes to really heal your relationship with food is so different for everybody. And honestly, I’ve seen people come to me who started dieting less than a year ago and they work with me for over a year. And then I’ve had people come to me who have been dieting for 50 years and within three months, they are like food freedom feeling amazing. And I think that it really does maybe relate to how ready you are to let go of dieting, how ready you are to do this work, and it’s just different for everybody. But I do think it’s possible for everybody.

Ryann

I absolutely agree, and I think that readiness is definitely a huge component of it. When you were talking before about challenging your beliefs and like having your beliefs now so solidified, when you were working on challenging those beliefs, what helped you break the previous beliefs that were rooted in your mind from diet culture previously?

Allie

I followed some dietitians who worked on intuitive eating. And so it was learning. It was like learning why that new belief was true and my old belief wasn’t true. And like testing it out myself. I really didn’t believe it was possible for me to eat without counting, without tracking. And so what I did was I just took baby steps myself. I would say, okay, I’m not going to track this now. Okay, I’m not going to track this day. And then I would go back to tracking.

Ryann

Yeah.

Allie

And I’d say, okay, I’m not going to track for two days. And then I would redownload the app. And so it took me a long time. I think if I would have worked with someone, it would have been 50 times faster, easier, less frustration. I would have been able to have someone challenge me and ask questions and someone support me through it and explain things to me. It would have been less frustration. And so I think it would have been a lot faster had I worked with somebody, but I kind of just learned. I read the intuitive eating book. I took it slow. I tested it out. But I think really understanding why that belief was actually true and evidence-based was really helpful for me.

Ryann

I’m curious as you were doing all of your schooling and your internship and like doing all of that process. I mean, in dietetics, do they talk about weight loss? Like, is that a part of it? And what was it like for you to like, learn about that and then end up not being a weight loss dietitian?

Allie

Oh my gosh, yes. Yes, that is, that is so much of what our education is rooted in. And so it was interesting because I was learning about intuitive eating while I was also doing my dietetic internship and my master’s. And so I was learning things that didn’t align with what I was, you know, challenging my beliefs with, but because I had experienced how harmful restriction and dieting was and how weight loss, like doesn’t work, it’s not sustainable and how it doesn’t bring all that it promises. And a lot of times it hurts your health because I had that personal experience. And then I was, you know, watching people on social media. I was reading the book. I was learning about it, it kind of opened my eyes.

So then when I would go to my class and I would learn about it, I kind of just was like, maybe textbook, like, okay, I get what y’all are trying to say, but in real life, this isn’t helpful. And in real life, when you try to tell someone to, you know, count their calories or something, it actually leads to like, these more urgency around food and body like, you know, lack of body trust. And, and I’m, because I had that personal experience, it was easy for me to see that a lot of my education just wasn’t like, in real life, it wasn’t helpful. It was harmful. And so it was kind of easy for me to say like, okay, I know what to answer on this test, but I know what I would actually do in real life. It’s like, this isn’t applicable.

Ryann

Do you feel like the more that intuitive eating grows and the more that people are recognizing, wait a minute, this is actually very harmful. Like, do you foresee, and this is totally just like your own opinion, do you foresee that ever changing like textbook or them addressing that textbook? Because I mean, when you were there, what, like five years ago?

Allie

Yeah, no, I absolutely do believe that. I think that it will change. In fact, when I was in my grad program, there was a professor who was preaching intuitive eating, health at every size, which was like one of the first times I had heard it was at the orientation for my grad school. And I’m like, wait, this is so cool. I saw this on Instagram. And so I do think it’s going to change as more studies come out, as there’s more evidence, as the movement just continues. I really do think it will change. And I think that one day we’ll look back on dieting almost like in a comparable way to like smoking of like, wow, at one point, like we never questioned it, but it was actually really harmful for our health. And I do, I think that the dietetics classes will change.

Ryann

I hope so. Or at least a class added in to just offer a different perspective because without that education, it’s the same with therapy too. It’s like, there’s just not a lot on eating disorders. And so I do have a lot of therapists reach out to me that are struggling with their relationship with food and binge eating, and they’re like, I don’t understand, I’m literally a therapist, yet I can’t figure this out. And I’m like, but if you think about it, we literally got one class, one class on disordered eating. And with that being said, if you don’t specialize in this, even if you have like the general skill, you just don’t know. And it’s like, okay, it’s tough when a medical professional is telling you something different. And then there is all this other side of, okay, if this medical professional is telling me this, but it’s not working for me, oh my God, it just reinforces that belief that there must be something wrong with me. And so I hope that things will at least be added in so that there can be other perspectives as well, or at least the education.

Allie

Yeah, yeah, I really do think it will change. And you know, like you said, if you don’t specialize in it, like I have had people reach out to me for like kidney disease help and things like that. And I’m like, hey, let me refer you out like to this dietician who focuses on that, like this is what I focus on. So I’ll refer you out. So like dieticians, there are tons of different types of dietitians, just like there are tons of different types of doctors and therapists. And so you do like it can be really helpful to find them on that specializing in what you need help with.

Ryann

Yeah. Shifting the body. Do you ever struggle with body image now?

Allie

Yes, absolutely. Yeah. I tell my clients and people all the time like, yes I’m a dietitian, yes I preach this and I talk about this every day, and I’m human, you know? And I don’t think anyone loves a hundred percent of their body a hundred percent of the time, like it would just be kind of unrealistic to expect that too.

Ryann

I so appreciate you sharing that because I think that there is this belief that like if I don’t feel great about my body then all the work isn’t done, and I think that recognizing that we’re human and we live in a sin obsessed world. And so those sneaky, sneaky thoughts, or also those negative emotions that we’ve connected to our body image still come up. It’s going to happen. So how do you handle bad body image days?

Allie

Oh, okay. So how I handle bad body images, it kind of depends on the day. And it kind of depends on what’s going on and what I’m feeling. Like, am I able to put on sweatpants, make myself some tea and like curl up and read a book, you know? Am I able to journal on it or is it like an emotional day and I just don’t have the capacity to deal with it or journal on it, right? Then I would maybe turn to reading the book. But really what I’ll do is I think I’ll just kind of pause, I’ll take a deep breath and whatever body part it is. I was doing this the other day where it’s like, if it’s my stomach or something, I’ll just kind of like touch it. And I’m like, this is like my stomach. And then I might think about like, oh my gosh, I like I can make a life in my stomach. Like, I’m so thankful I have a stomach to digest my food and give me energy. And I kind of will shift towards like, the function of that body part or why I’m grateful for that body part.

Like this is my stomach that has been with me my whole life. Like it’s the thought isn’t like helpful. It’s hurtful. And it’s okay to feel my feelings. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable in my body, but my body isn’t that. My body isn’t wrong. And I don’t need to change my body. I just need to kind of like sit in these uncomfortable feelings, talk myself through it, journal, make my tea, read my book, go for a walk, do something that will make me feel good. But I think earlier when I said, no, I don’t really struggle with food anymore is because like when I have that bad body day, it’s no longer like, oh, my body’s bad. It’s just like, no, no, no, my mindset’s a little off today. And that’s okay. I’m human.

But like, that doesn’t mean I’m changing how I eat. That doesn’t mean I’m changing how I move. I’m going to try to change my body, you know, because of doing this work. It’s separated. It’s like, I’m going to eat to feel good. I’m going to move to feel good, I’m gonna take care of my body, respect my body no matter how I feel about my body that day.

Ryann

Yes, yes, oh my gosh. I really experienced this when I was getting ready for my wedding. I didn’t think that I would as much as I did, but then again it was like, when I went and tried on my dress, it was like the question, are you gonna lose weight for your wedding was asked. And I went to the seamstress, are you planning on losing weight was asked. And anytime I looked up anything about, you know, wedding information, a weight loss thing came up. And there was this belief, like am I doing something wrong by not trying to lose weight for my wedding? Even being this far along in this work, like those thoughts came up. But I do think to your point of being so far along in this, I was able to recognize, wait a minute, this is not about my body, this is about my mindset right now, and I need to give my mind and myself a little love because we’re not going there. We are not going there. And it happens, it still happens. And it is truly about how we handle that moving forward that I think is ultimately how we feel and respond and react and how food is moving forward as well.

Allie

And I try to always remind people like a healthy body image is not never having a bad body day or never having a bad body moment, but it’s knowing that like, your body is good, not because of how it looks, but because it’s your body, and knowing how to deal with those bad body moments and how to move through it. Like, that’s a healthy body image. It’s not never having a bad body day again. And our bodies are constantly changing, how we feel in our bodies changing, things that you eat, you may feel bloated, you may be on your period, like the way we our bodies are changing, or we feel about our bodies are changing, but your body is not bad because of that.

Ryann

Because you brought up bloating, I have to ask you, because I feel like I’m so bloated has turned into the I’m so fat. Can you just kind of clarify for us?

Allie

In a way, it’s almost like I hear I’m uncomfortable in my body.

Ryann

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Allie

Yeah, and so like, again, a lot of like bloating is not always a bad thing. Sometimes bloating is normal. And I think a lot of people are just saying that when they might feel full or might feel uncomfortable in their body. But like, you know, I think they’re saying something that, again, just like I’m uncomfortable in my body. Yeah. They might not even be bloated.

Ryann

Yeah. Yeah. So for anyone listening, if you say I’m so bloated, what might happen if we replace that with, I’m uncomfortable in my body. And you have that reframe. So I’m curious. I know that I hear a lot just, I’m uncomfortable fully eating in front of my husband, or I’m uncomfortable eating the same amount as my husband or partner. I’m uncomfortable in truly allowing myself to eat what I want if they’re not eating. What is it like food in your home?

Allie

Oh my goodness. So I do hear that a lot. And I will just kind of tell people like, I eat more than my husband all the time, like all the time. And he will eat breakfast later or skip lunch or something. And he is a total intuitive eater. But I’m the type where I’m like, I cannot, if I’m hungry, I’m hungry. I can’t wait. He might feel hunger and be fine waiting and then be mindful later, but with me, I’ll get hangry really quickly. And so I just know I need to honor my body’s needs, regardless of what he’s doing. He might’ve had a really big lunch at work. So here I am eating a really big dinner and he’s not hungry for dinner yet. That’s okay. I still need to honor my needs.

Ryann

Yeah.

Allie

Right. I really do eat more than him more often than not.

Ryann

Yeah.

Allie

And then because he’s such an intuitive eater, I think he gets his energy. His body just makes up for it naturally. Right. So like maybe he just eats bigger meals at other times or he eats more on the weekend. Right. Like we don’t know what they ate before, what they’re eating later, what their needs are. And with like, other people or strangers or friends, we don’t know their relationship with food. And so what we do know is our needs and our hunger. And so honoring like what we want, and even like with sweets. So like, he has more of a savory tooth, and I have more of a sweet tooth. And so I’ll say like, do you want ice cream after dinner? And he’s like, no, maybe he wants chips or something. I’m like, I want ice cream. And so I had to kind of become okay with like, you enjoy your ice cream. Like you do you, if you want it, you can have it and you don’t like need him to say yes to feel better or okay about it. Like you just honor your needs and focus on what you want.

Ryann

It’s so funny because Grayson is the same way. And in the beginning of our dating, I was super uncomfortable with it because I’ve always been a big when I wake up in the morning, I’m like ready to eat. The people that are like, I’m nauseous if I eat too, that has never been a thing for me. That has never been a thing for me. So, and he is very sane. Like he naturally can go all morning and eat for the first time at like noon or one, not because he’s like trying to, but that’s just when he’s hungry. But in the beginning, I had a really hard time conceptualizing, okay, these are my needs and those are his needs and even if we aren’t eating the same amount right now It doesn’t it doesn’t mean anything like it doesn’t mean anything and being okay with eating I mean sometimes we’ll eat three times before he even eats once and getting to a place where I’m like Who cares? I need breakfast a snack and lunch and if he doesn’t want that I’ll eat it.

Allie

That literally happened this weekend. He was like doing yard work and he was like sweating and working on this and doing this for the house. And I was just like inside reading, watching TV, like not, you know, not doing too much, just relaxing. And I had breakfast, I had a snack, I had lunch, I had another snack. And I asked him, like, have you eaten today? And he was like, no, not really hungry, I’m busy. I’m like, oh my God, I would be fainting with like how much you’re sweating and doing yard work. And I’m like, I’ve already eaten four times. Like, wow. But you know, like he’s an intuitive eater. Like he, as much as I’m like, eat breakfast, like come on, like eat with me and whatnot. He listens to his body and his body gets the energy his body needs. For me, I know that I operate much better when I have those consistent meal times. And that’s like, I will honor that no matter what he’s doing.

Ryann

I think for me, something that helped me really get there was just fully, fully detaching food from my worth. And I felt like I had already done that before, but in a relationship, I don’t know, it just felt different in the beginning where I was like, this is quote wrong because we’re told, you know, girls should eat less than boys. And so I was like, oh my gosh, I’m not doing what I quote should. I should be the dainty little not eater. And I was like, no, no, this isn’t gonna work for me. And also, if we start dating now and I can’t acknowledge my hunger now, oh my, this is gonna be a really long life because I need breakfast. So if I don’t feel comfortable eating breakfast and I now have to push my breakfast out, I mean, it’s gonna be miserable because that’s never gonna work for me.

Allie

Yeah, and then also thinking about why, and if they care, that might not be a person you want to be with anyways. Like you want someone who isn’t judging you for how much you eat, and they probably aren’t. You know, they didn’t care.

Ryann

So for you, how do you guys do grocery shopping and cooking? How does that work in your home?

Allie

So he hates grocery shopping and I hate cooking. And so I’m totally fine with planning it out. I order the groceries. It’s so much easier. So I will put in the grocery order. I’ll pick out the different dinners because he hates cooking out the dinners. I enjoy that kind of stuff. And then he really helps out with the cooking. He’s a better cook, for sure. So he does a lot of the cooking and I do the eating and the shopping.

Ryann

Oh my gosh, I love that. I love that. My husband is a chef. And in the beginning of us dating, I was so insecure about our cooking, or my cooking because I’ve never been a good cook. I should rephrase that. I’ve never been into cooking. It’s just never been a priority to me. I’m very much like, let’s just get it done. Like pulling out a recipe book and following a recipe, I don’t get joy and pleasure out of that. That’s exhausting to me. But for him, he loves that. So there are times where he will get really into that. But for the most part, I also had to learn, you know what, I’m going to make what I make. And if he doesn’t like it, it is what it is.

Allie

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I am like, no cook meals type of girl. I love no cook meals. I love the easy, easy stuff, the pre-made stuff. And like, that’s totally fine. I know that people have a lot of fear and guilt and around those foods. But I love the pre-made stuff as easy as possible. I just, I don’t get a lot of joy from cooking. It’s more stressful for me. But it is fun, like if we were maybe cooking together or like a date night, but that it’s just not something we actually do every night.

Ryann

Yeah. Yeah. One time in COVID, we made spring rolls together. And that was really fun because that is like literally an art project, and it takes a lot of patience. But that was fun. Do you guys eat at the table?

Allie

No.

Ryann

Really?

Allie

No. Yeah. So I don’t. I love eating in front of the TV.

Ryann

Okay. Tell me more.

Allie

I, we, we both do. We, we love eating on, and we have a table. We just love eating on the couch in front of the TV. When we were in an apartment, we didn’t have a table. So we like always ate on the couch and watch TV. And then we would like talk over the meal and we watch a show a lot of times, like right now we’re watching Grey’s Anatomy. We’ve already seen it. And so we’re like, Oh, I didn’t remember that part. And like, Oh, how was your day? Like, we’re able to kind of talk through the show a lot of the times, but I love like curling up on the couch or like the chair and getting really comfortable with the blanket and eating and watching tv. I so enjoy it.

Ryann

How do you, I mean you’ve already kind of mentioned, but just a little bit more, how do you create an enjoyable experience around that so it’s more like I’m getting pleasure, I’m enjoying my meal, I’m enjoying his company instead of I am just like zoning out and this is so mindless.

Ryann

Yeah, I think that it’s like just bringing attention to the food. And a lot of times when we’re eating, we’ll purposely pick a show that, you know, we’ve already seen. If it’s, if it’s like, it’s different when I’m eating popcorn and candy and watching a movie I’ve never seen before, compared to like, we’re just sitting down and having dinner and like, we’ll just sit by each other on the couch and talk about our day and eat food with like the TV on. I don’t know. I really like it’s more like background noise. Yeah. But you know, I always, I saw another dietician talk about it once, how imagine distractions and mindfulness on opposite sides of like a line and arrows. I know people can’t see my hands right now, but just like naturally, the more distracted you are, the less mindful you’re gonna be.

So like if you’re eating breakfast while you’re driving the car, like you’re distracted. So just naturally it’s harder to be mindful compared to when you’re sitting down at the table with no distractions. It’s a lot easier to be mindful. And so just kind of being aware of that and bringing some mindfulness with like, setting down your fork, taking a drink, how does it taste, noticing the senses, what’s the texture, what’s the warmth? Are you enjoying it? Rating the bite one to 10, you know, rating the first bite compared to towards the end, noticing, I always like, we’ll take like a halftime break, set my fork down, think about where am I at fullness-wise, you know? So it’s just simply like bringing attention to it.

And I think that the more you practice mindfulness, the easier it does get over time. And so like, because I have been working on this for so many years, at this point, like mindfulness is more of a habit and something that takes less mental energy and effort right now, and food is fine. And so it’s just fun to like have the TV on and talk about the show, talk about our days. But it is kind of funny when I talk about mindfulness and things and I’m like, I love eating in front of the TV. It’s fun.

Ryann

Let’s say the TV was broken. Would you be okay eating at the table?

Allie

Absolutely. I think I would probably enjoy it a lot more than like I might think of maybe like right now eating in front of the TV is more of a habit, but like there are times where we sit down at the table and I’m like, this is so enjoyable, like having this conversation and sitting across from each other and stuff. So yeah, and also a lot of times during my work day when I have my lunch, I don’t have the TV on and I’m alone. I work from home. And so I actually sit down at the table and a lot of times just take a mental break. Yeah. Like my lunch is a mental break. So I do sit down and eat without screens or distractions or even people. Like when I have my lunch, it’s a breather for me. And so I get to enjoy the food, notice the crunch, notice the taste. So yeah, lunch is usually a really mindful meal for me. And sometimes I work through lunch too. I mean, there’s no such thing as perfect eating.

Ryann

Totally, no. And I appreciate you saying that. And it’s funny because before we had talked about the difference between preference and rule. And I think that right there with you saying, you know, I really enjoy, I love sitting, you know, cozy and having this conversation, I prefer it, but I can’t sit at the table and I think that a lot of people need to hear that because it can absolutely be a preference and there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, Allie, you’re a dietitian and it’s like balance, balance. However, it’s like, can I be okay without it?

Allie

Yeah. A lot of times if we were to open a recipe book or make a recipe, then we probably do sit at the table and like actually enjoy it and like enjoy the food. Just bring a little bit more attention because the food took a little more effort, you know? But yeah, there’s no like perfect way or right or wrong. Like it’s really all about just noticing how you feel, staying flexible. Like I think something I constantly remind my people of is there’s no such thing as perfect eating. There’s no such thing as the perfect bite for fullness or perfect intuitive eating or perfect mindfulness, even like perfect satisfaction. A lot of times I am rushed and just stuffing something in my mouth between client calls for lunch, you know?

And sometimes I like really want sushi, but I don’t have sushi, so I just eat the sandwich instead and it’s not amazing or satisfying. It’s not exactly what I want, but it’s like, it is what it is. We have to eat three times a day, at least for the rest of our lives, every day. It’s not going to be perfectly satisfying every time.

Ryann

I have that as well, especially with the client calls thing. Sometimes it is literally like, okay, what do I have in my fridge? Let me throw it together really quick.

Allie

Yep.

Ryann

Besides, you know, the classic intuitive eating, Hayes book, like the ones that are said a lot, what are some of your favorite self-improvement books?

Allie

Ooh, self-improvement books. Right now, what’s on my to-read list is Atomic Habit.

Ryann

Okay.

Allie

Also for body image, there’s one that I love. It’s called Mother’s Daughters in Body Image.

Ryann

Okay.

Allie

I hope I got that right. I read it a while ago. But yeah, you know, recently, I’ve been really into like the fiction books, which I know you’re into too.

Ryann

Yes.

Allie

I would say like two years ago, when we had the other podcast, I was reading all the self-improvement books, all of the intuitive eating, anti-diet books, but recently, oh my gosh, I have probably read 30 or 40 books this year, and I’ve just like re-fallen in love with reading fiction. So I actually haven’t read a self-improvement book in a long time.

Ryann

What are some of the best fictions that you’ve read lately that you’ve enjoyed?

Allie

I am a big Colleen Hoover girl. I am like, if it makes me cry, I’m like highly recommend.

Ryann

Yeah.

Allie

You know, I’m really into that. But also I just, I love anything with like romance or love stories.

Ryann

You do Goodreads.

Allie

I want to, I don’t though, I should.

Ryann

You should.

Allie

I thought, I know you do. But yeah, I’m really into like the romance and the like cliche, but then also at the same time, the ones that are like traumatic stories that make me cry. So like Make Me Happy or Make Me Cry, I love that book.

Ryann

What’s really interesting though is that the more that I’ve read fiction because and I’m sure you have this mentality too as I was like if I’m not learning it’s a waste of time.

Allie

Yeah.

Ryann

But the more that you read fiction there are a lot of just like little like just tidbits of just the most solid one-liners where it’s like, bam, that hits. And it’s like, oh my God, this is basically like a self-improvement because I’m getting quote after quote after like learning point and all of these things.

Allie

Do you highlight or underline in your book?

Ryann

I do sometimes, I didn’t because, so here’s how I learned about that. So I just started with Libby. Have you ever done Libby? Well, do you like reading on an iPad or do you like tangible?

Allie

I have, I prefer tangible, but I have my Kindle.

Ryann

Okay. So Libby is an app where you can rent eBooks from the library for free. And when you bring them onto your Kindle, and maybe this works with any book with a Kindle, I don’t know if it’s just library books, but it has lines that a lot of people have underlined in there. And it’ll tell you how many people have underlined it. So I never really thought about doing that. And then the more that I started to notice the lines that people were underlining a lot, I was like, this is so interesting. Like I never thought, that’s what helped me learn. Like there are some little tidbits in here that are like really powerful because before I didn’t really see that. And I was like, when people tab in these books, what are they tabbing? Now I understand what they’re tabbing.

Allie

Yes, so I love reading on my Kindle I’m like always underlining those. And so, and but when I read my physical book, I also underline and highlight. And so you’re right, there are so many great little lessons and like life, just like great life quotes in these books. And my mind is always bringing it back to intuitive eating and, you know, living more life, less dieting, less, yeah, absolutely.

Ryann

Yeah, I am so, I mean, going off of that, I’m so curious to hear your thoughts on atomic habits. I read it two years ago and I think that there’s so, I mean, I love James Clear’s stuff. I think that the way that he describes habits, it just clicked in my brain. However, he does talk a lot about weight loss in regards to habits, which in that book it just is so cringy because it’s like, ah, when you are taking things that are just like so amazing and I want to recommend this book, I feel like I have to put a disclaimer because it’s like, wait a minute, if it was this simple, it would be this simple. So I’m curious to hear your thoughts.

Allie

That is on my to-read list. So I haven’t, it’s on my nightstand. But I’m currently reading another book. But that would be very, it’s very cringy for me to read. I know what you’re talking about. I’ve read other self-improvement books where it is so, so common for them to use weight loss as the example for a habit or a goal. And it’s so difficult because I think that it’s like well-intentioned and just like not realizing how harmful it is to use that example, you know? So it is super difficult to read, but that’s kind of where I’m like, this is like, this is the world we live in and here’s my reframe. And it, depending on how like bad it would be, I might not recommend it to clients if it really is focusing on weight loss, you know? So cringy, I do think eventually it will change.

Ryann

I do too. I do too. It is interesting to see how things are shifting already and how many more people are speaking on this. Like I’ve shared a lot. When I started, you know, binge eating, it was in 2009 and binge eating wasn’t even in the DSM. And then in 2013, it was in the DSM, but still nobody really talked about it. And I kid you, I feel like it wasn’t until COVID that people really started talking about it. And literally until last year I feel like binge eating specifically like more people coming out and sharing like hey this is what you know I struggled with or am struggling with and this is what it’s like for me. I mean more people are talking about it and more people are relating to it and it is going to be interesting to see how things shift.

Allie

Things really have shifted even when you think about like how people talk about therapy and even like, you know, body image and dieting five years ago, it was like super praised. It was it was a norm to not hate your body. Now it’s actually being seen as like, you don’t have to hate your body. Like, you can actually like work on body acceptance. And now there’s like, there’s just more talk about it and realizing that certain things are could actually a problem or disorder or not healthy, versus maybe like your whole life, you’ve been told, like, it’s normal to not like your body or it’s normal to always be on a diet or struggling on a diet, you know?

Ryann

I mean, coming back full circle to how you started this off, it really is about redefining health and like what that looks like for you and your lifestyle and what it is that you want to, you know, remember how you want to live.

Allie

Absolutely, and like for me, like healthy eating, the definition used to be like the food rules, like no sweets, no sugar, right? Like all the things that diet culture has taught me. And now it’s like, oh my gosh, that led to feeling so unhealthy around food and so out of control around food. So how is that healthy? Like now healthy eating is about enjoying food and having fun with food and sharing love and memories and culture with food. And it’s like having that balance of the fun foods and also combining nourishing foods that make me feel good and foods that taste good that I enjoy and like trusting my body. And so it really is defining like what does health look like for you? What does healthy eating look like for you? What does fun movement look like for you? And like keeping it really authentic rather than what society tells you it should look like or what you should be doing. And it feels so much better when you make that shift.

Ryann

In honor of the Food Freedom Lab, what does food freedom mean to you?

Allie

Oh, it means more life, more life for sure.

Ryann

I can’t remember if I asked you that before. I feel like I did.

Allie

I don’t think so.

Ryann

I’m so curious to know.

Allie

You know, I remember you asking me if I was a coffee, was this the beginning of the end?

Ryann

Yeah, it was at the end.

Allie

Okay, at the end. I remember that question. I don’t remember my answer. I really don’t. Oh my gosh. But yeah, food freedom is more life. It’s getting to be present and not live in your head and getting to enjoy food and not stress over it. And like you just show up for life as such a better you, more present and like life is so precious. I heard this TikTok yesterday, this audio from a Ted Talk that was like, today is the only today you’ll ever have. Like this moment is the only moment you’ll ever see these people be talking to these people in this way. And it’s like, oh my gosh, life is so precious. Every moment is like a moment you’ll never get back, right? Like you’ll never be this young again today in this minute again. And like, why waste your life stressing about food and your body and instead of just like living it without freedom. And I know that sounds like it’s a hard journey.

It’s easier said than done, but it is so, so worth it. When I talk to my clients, one of the questions I ask them is, what percent of your waking hours do you spend thinking about food or your body? And the lowest percentage I hear is like maybe 80%. Usually it’s the average is like 90 to 95%. And so it’s like we’re spending 90 to 95% of our lives stressed, overwhelmed, you know, worried over food and our body. And it’s like, we’re like, forgetting to live your life.

Ryann

I mean, it’s been so fun watching all the trips that you’ve been on this year, because I feel like that is truly like more life. Like you’re going on all of these amazing things, you’re experiencing all these amazing things and it’s like you’re just living.

Allie

Yeah, you know, I was just talking with a client yesterday, um, who’s going on a trip to Europe. And I had just earlier this year, I took my dad on a surprise trip to Spain. And we were talking about, you know, stress of the food and not being able to work out. And it made me realize I actually did not think about, oh my God, I’m not going to be able to work out for two weeks until yesterday. We went on the trip like, what, six months ago? I was like, oh my God, I didn’t even have that stress. I didn’t even have that thought that I was in. I was just so excited about experiencing the food and experiencing the different cities with my dad that I literally didn’t once worry about, am I going to squeeze a workout in or not? I’m like, wow, I didn’t even realize that. I realized the food freedom I was experiencing, but I didn’t realize all the other worries and stress that would have, you know, stressed me out beforehand. I didn’t even worry about.

Ryann

I didn’t know you went with your dad. That’s so nice.

Allie

Yeah, that was, that was super fun. That was a dream.

Ryann

And Allie and I are meeting also with Meredith in New Orleans in two weeks. Well, we will have three weeks. After this comes out, we will have already met. But right now, as we’re recording this, it’s coming up and that’ll be fun because I’ve never been to New Orleans and I know New Orleans is a big foodie town. So I’m excited to try all of this.

Allie

I can’t wait.

Ryann

Yay. Allie, for anybody who has not connected with you yet, where can they find you? Give us all the places.

Allie

So you, my website is makelifepeachy.com. You can find me on Instagram at at makelifepeachy with underscores between the words. I’m on TikTok and yeah, I have a Twitter, but don’t really use it that much. I would check out my Instagram. That’s where I hang out.

Ryann

Cool. Thank you so much for coming on and chatting with me today. I so appreciate your time and it’s just really nice to be able to have these conversations with a professional and be able to hear like the real raw of what life is really like. So thank you for sharing that with us.

Allie

Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for having me.

Disclaimer: If you have or suspect that you have an eating disorder, please contact a qualified health care professional immediately. If you are located in the United States and are experiencing a medical or health emergency, please call 911 or call for appropriate emergency medical help. 

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Ryann is a licensed therapist and virtual wellness coach who has assisted individuals worldwide in establishing a healthier relationship with food and their bodies.

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Ryann is a licensed therapist and virtual wellness coach who has assisted individuals worldwide in establishing a healthier relationship with food and their bodies.