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Connect with Lisa

📲 Instagram: @thoughtfullyfueled

🖥 Website: www.thoughtfullyfueled.com

🎙 Podcast: The Fully Fueled Life Podcast

Episode Transcript

Ryann

Hello everybody. We have another episode with Lisa today. We are going to be chatting about spring break, but more than spring break, vacations and prepping for vacations, what’s going on on vacations, and what it was like when we were in our diet, disordered eating days versus what it is like now. So if you wanna listen to what it was like for us before getting ready for spring break in our disordered days versus our days now, go ahead and hop over to Lisa’s podcast, the Fully Fueled Life podcast, and listen to that over there. And now we are going to dive into what happens on spring break when we were in our disordered days versus now or vacations in general.

Lisa

I mean, like you said, we talked all about the pre, but during, I feel like this also, people don’t really talk about during vacation, like that they’re, when you’re in your disordered eating phase or, you know, struggling with an eating disorder, whatever it is, during the trip, there’s also all of these things that come up that kind of get you feeling a certain type of way.

Ryann

Yeah. Yes, so we just came off of talking about the drastic measures we would take to try and quote get ready for these vacations. Then Lisa, when you got on vacation, what happened?

Lisa

Oh, so like I said, I think a lot of my stress and like the the pressure to look a certain way in a bathing suit in the shorts that really, really hit in college. And when you go on spring break in college, you’re usually with your friends and there’s usually drinking involved. And I was always so terrified about looking bloated in a bathing suit because we were drinking or probably eating, you know, pizza and chicken nuggets all the time. And I would be so self-conscious that I usually just wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t feel my body properly because I didn’t want to look bloated. God forbid I looked, you know, like I ate something in a bathing suit. And that was really, really hard, coupled with drinking on these week-long spring break trips with a bunch of different friends.

That was really, really challenging, very unhealthy, but really, really challenging because it was like this constant back and forth of, I don’t want to look like I’ve eaten anything, but I need to eat something because we’re going to be drinking. I’m going to be bloated because we’re drinking. All the things just constantly running through my mind.

Ryann

I feel like for me, because I, as I discussed in the last episode on friends, I didn’t have a ton of college and high school friends because my eating disorder was my best friend. I never had these like epic spring break trips with a ton of friends. I always looked at that and was like, oh I wish, and then I was like, I can’t because oh my gosh, what am I gonna do when I actually get there? So for me, I’m just thinking back to a lot of the just vacations in general that I had, and I remember after doing so much like restriction and pressure and getting ready for going to the beach or whatever, getting there and you talked about this in the other episode on prepping for spring break, just being so unpleasant.

Where I would be like, when are we going to eat? What are we going to eat? I can’t eat that. I need to eat now. And how can we go do that? Because when are we going to eat lunch? And like, how, like, how are we going to squeeze lunch into that? And where are we going to eat lunch? And then what are we going to have for dinner and just being so up how am I going to work out where am I going to work out is there a gym do they have the equipment how am I going to do that and not taking one second to appreciate wherever it was that we were it was just even a whole other level of obsession because I’m out of my routine and what’s going to happen with me eating at all of these different places.

Lisa

Oh my gosh, same. You talking about like, when am I going to eat? Where am I going to eat? I, on vacation, we’d be eating breakfast. I’d be like, what are we having for lunch? Are we bringing snacks? What’s for dinner? What are we doing tomorrow? Constantly just thinking about the next meal. And one time my dad and I got into a fight over sandwiches, like a fight to the point where I am in tears, crying, he has no idea what’s going on, and the fight was revolving like around a sandwich. Like, that is how wound up I was about all the things, when we were gonna eat, what foods were in the house, could I move my body, all these things, to the point where I’m crying over a sandwich with my dad. Like, it was intense, and I was just so unpleasant to be with.

Ryann

So unpleasant and just making everything about food and not to mention eating at different places when you are on vacation. I remember being so stressed about people eating later because I was like, if I’m eating now and you’re eating two hours later than me, then that means that you’re not gonna be ready for lunch until this time. And that means that I can’t have lunch until that time. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? Like it was the end of the world.

Lisa

Right? And especially somewhere where, you know, maybe you’re with your family and you’re in more of like a condo house type thing where there’s a kitchen and people can make food at different times. I remember like micromanaging, being like telling my brother, don’t eat a snack now we’re going to dinner. Don’t know we’re going to eat dinner at seven. Why are you eating right now? And you know, he’s my little brother. He’d be like, chill, stop. Stop acting like mom, you know, because I’m nagging him about his food choices.

But that was really my own insecurity and stress projecting onto him. Because the same thing, if he’s eating now, does that mean we’re, you know, we’re gonna go to dinner later? I’m gonna be hungry. Should I eat something? No, I just ate. That constant just thread of thoughts consumed every second of that trip from the time that I was awake to the time that I went to sleep and I just wasn’t able to have any fun. I wasn’t able to make memories, be in the moment because I was so hyper-focused on what food is going to be there, can I eat it, should I eat it, do I want to eat it. It’s just, I mean, even thinking about it, like it’s exhausting.

Ryann

For me, the trip would start like that and then I would have one thing that pushed me over the edge, one thing that put me over the line of I had a bite of something that was a rule or I broke a rule or something went against my regular guidelines and all of a sudden it was like, alright, F it, I blew it, I’ll just be better when I get back and it was like I’m just gonna eat everything now and I’m gonna take it all in now because when I get back, that’s when things are gonna get serious. And that’s when I’m not gonna do this anymore. This is the last straw. This is the last straw when I get back from this vacation. That’s when we’re getting for real.

Lisa

Oh yeah, I totally agree. And I, something about being with, especially when I was on trips with my family, I was so, it was just so much easier for me to eat past that comfortable level of fullness. Like now I know what I was doing before I had no idea, but I would eat past that comfortable level of fullness. They had things that I normally wouldn’t keep in, you know, if I was at college and like even visiting my parents, they always had foods that I would never keep in the house. So I’d be sneaking things. I, like, vividly remember multiple times on trips, just visiting home, whatever the case was, sneaking downstairs to get, like, another bowl of ice cream.

Or to grab, you know, those snacks that I had been thinking about all day, eating them in my room, then having to hide things. that would again like then I didn’t feel good then I was guilty when I woke up because I saw this like Remnants of what I did the night before um, so then I’d probably Skip breakfast or something like that And then i’d be hangry which would lead to overeating at lunch Like it was just this vicious cycle That I couldn’t get out of And like you were saying then I would say f it i’m gonna eat whatever I want Because once I get back into my normal routine, everything will be fine. I won’t do this again or I’ll lose the weight or blah blah blah whatever it is, I’ll just get back on track then.

Ryann

And I remember when I had this moment of rock bottom when I was like I’m done and I’m ready to fully heal my relationship with food. Part of that was I started having more moments that were showing me of how problematic this way of living was, and how much life I was missing out on, and I remember I had this moment, and this wasn’t my rock bottom moment, but it was definitely leading up to my rock bottom moment, that I was just randomly scrolling through pictures on my phone one day, and I had this like, aha moment of, I can tell you, I can open up a picture, any picture, and I can tell Any picture. And I can tell you more about what I ate that day than what I was doing, who I was with, the conversations that I was having. And I was like, is this the way that I want to spend the rest of my life? Like, what happens when I get married? What happens when I have kids? What happens when I hit, like, all of these major milestones, and I look back on these, like, really special pictures, and I can’t tell you anything more than what I had for dinner that night.

Lisa

Right? And I think that is something that’s very like eye-opening. I’ve had similar experiences where my parents will talk about like, oh, do you remember when we took you guys here? And I’m like, no, no. Like just don’t have that memory or like, oh, do you remember, you know, especially as I got older, I could remember, but I couldn’t fully remember. And then I’m like, do I remember because you’ve talked about it? Or do I actually remember this experience, the people that were there, the things that we did, and that for me was kind of a like, why would I continue doing this if I’m going to go on these trips, I want to make these memories. I want to be able to look back. I want to be able to recall on what we did.

And a lot of it also comes from when I was super uncomfortable in a bathing suit in those smaller, you know, smaller clothes, less clothing, shorts, things like that. I would refuse pictures. I’d be like, I’ll take it. I’m the one behind the camera. Like, do not take a picture of me in my bathing suit, unless I’m wrapped up in a towel, and I probably won’t let you post it anywhere. And that was like a lot of my college timeframe trips. I have pictures of the places, but I don’t have pictures of like my friends and I, or my family and I, or just like me somewhere because I didn’t want my picture taken in a bathing suit and those smaller pieces of clothing. And now when I look back at that, I’m like, oh, like that’s so sad. I don’t have these memories because I was so uncomfortable that I couldn’t even allow for a photo to be taken.

Ryann

What about, how did you handle restaurant eating and restaurant food when you were on, before you hit that, like, I’ve crossed the line of like, F it, I’ll be better when I get back, that initial point of, I am trying to stay, quote, on track, I’m trying to stay, quote, good, and it was time to go to eat at a restaurant.

Lisa

So before we even went there, I had to know where we were going so I could look at the menu. And I would usually end up getting a salad and asking for something, like, the dressing, always dressing on the side. Always on the side. Like, if the dressing came on a salad, I just remember being like so repulsed, being like, I cannot eat this, it’s so unhealthy, just insane. And usually some form of like grilled blam chicken, maybe shrimp, maybe. But it was always something along those lines. I never got what I wanted. I would look at that menu and be like, oh, that looks good. Or we’re going for a long time. I like boycotted red meat in my disordered eating phase because I thought it was so unhealthy. And I thought I would just like instantly gain weight if I ate it.

So we’d be going to this like, you know, known steakhouse that has amazing quality of meat. And I would be like, I’ll have the chicken. It just wasn’t, there was no fun, like that joy in eating out and having this new experience was not there. I usually picked up my food and would eat a little bit and kind of like move it around. Lots of leftovers were taken home but then never eaten again. It just wasn’t fun. It was not fun because I was constantly doing that like again that running thought of okay if you eat this you know what that means. You’re gonna have to do this, are you gonna get up and work out? Or you had that for lunch, what should you do now? It just was not enjoyable. I was not present at any of the meals because I’m hyper-focused on the food in front of me. Yeah, just, I mean, overall, not fun.

Ryann

I was the exact same, or I was just thinking, for example, if we had sandwiches for lunch and then it was like, we’re getting pizza for dinner. I was like what? I can’t have bread twice? Are you kidding me? We can’t do that. We can’t do that. I remember having moments like that and then something else just going back to those like bitchy moments. So I have a little brother and he’s always had a very fast metabolism, not to mention he is five years younger so he’s always been kind of like in a different phase very young. And I remember getting so angry with him when he, for example, when my parents were like, do you want to order dessert? And I was like, no, of course not. And he would be like, no, I’m okay. And I’d be like, what do you mean?

What do you mean? You get to have dessert. Like you are allowed to have dessert. Why aren’t you having dessert? Or we would go to an ice cream shop and I would obviously not get anything and he would get the sorbet. And not because, you know, I mean, he was like 12, right? He just has always been like a fruitier than a more chocolate guy. And I would be so mad. I’d be like, you’re getting the sorbet? How could you get the sorbet? You can get all of these. Why would you get? You’re allowed. And I just remember being so angry and just, and then my parents being like, Ryann, why do you care? Why do you care? And then it would be like, I don’t want to talk about it. Bye. And then continuing to just like make things awkward, make things about food, ruin the mood. Ah!

Lisa

Oh yes, I would do very similar. My brother’s four years younger than me. Super fast metabolism. Like this kid just eats every two hours. Always has, that’s his thing. And when we were on trips, that’s where a lot of the stress would come up because we would eat breakfast, and he would have like two meals. And then we’d all eat lunch. And I’d always be like, should you be doing this, but then you can do this. So there was almost like I’m jealous, but also like keep doing it because you’re able to and I was caught in this awkward middle of like, I don’t know how to address this because I have all my own insecurities about it and we get in so many fights about food and my parents are like, Lisa, just leave it alone. Like, stop.

And I’d be like, but, but, but, my mom’s like, just let him, he’s, you know, at the time, like, he’s 12 or whatever. Let him do his own thing. And again, total mood killer. Everyone was then in this like pissed off mood. I’m like fuming and just like pouting at the table. And you know, my brother’s oblivious and like eating his chicken wings or whatever. And it just caused so much tension in the family dynamic, especially when food was around. When you’re on vacation, everything revolves around food. You’re constantly planning, oh, we’re gonna do this for lunch and then we’ll do this for dinner. Like that is where a lot of like the structure of the day comes. And I think that’s why I latched on to it because I was like, if I can do this, I can have some sense of control. And I remember always being like, well, we need a vegetable.

That was my thing. Oh, we need a vegetable because then it’s healthy. What are we having for veggies? Can we make veggies? And like to this day, if I’m ever helping my mom make dinner, she’s like, you do the vegetables. And I’m like, now I’m like, okay, totally fine. But she knows that I was just like, you know, thought we had to have this because in my mind that makes, you know, it a little bit healthier. And then I’m being quote unquote good, where now I’m like making these awesome, you know, roasted veggies or whatever it is. So we’ve shifted a little bit, but she still knows, like, here’s a job for you.

Ryann

That’s so funny and I mean, it’s also kind of sad to be like, that was my identity.

Lisa

I don’t think anyone was surprised when I was like, I’m gonna be a dietician. They were like, yeah, no shit. That makes sense.

Ryann

It just, it makes me think back to all of the moments that I missed out on and all of the memories and the times that I’ll never get back. And it’s like, for what? For what? And is that how I want to continue spending the rest of my life? And let me tell you, things are so different now. And I am incredibly grateful because it is possible for this not to be the story. So what are things like for you now?

Lisa

I would say now my favorite part of the trip, any trip, is the food.

Ryann

Same.

Lisa

Like that’s what I’m the one researching restaurants and you’re like oh my gosh this you know hole in the wall or this got great reviews. I’m always like let’s try the most unique local you know one-of-a-kind places because I want that experience where before that would have never been the case. So I think the biggest change has been now, it’s still all about the food, but in a totally different way. And that added stress of looking a specific way or trying to get a workout in every single day during your trip, that’s no longer there. It’s kind of like, if I want to go on a bike ride, beautiful. If I don’t want to work out the entire time, that’s fine.

And having that flexibility actually allows me to be more active on vacation, because before it was all or nothing. I’d work out the first three days, and then I’d be like, screw this, and I wouldn’t work out for the last, you know, however many, or I would just say, I’m not doing it at all. Where now that movement can be kind of sprinkled in, it’s a lot more gentle based on how I feel, and it’s more fun because then we can do these active things and I don’t feel like I’m trying to make them quote unquote count as a workout. So it’s more enjoyable for everyone.

Ryann

Right, it’s not like I have to do this like 45 high-intensity workout. It is, I’m just going to go move my body and that’s amazing. But I do think that you bring up such a good point of how it is still about the food, but it’s a different way. I am the same where I get so excited about trying new things, trying new places, having that experience. It is an experience sitting down and being with people that you love and taking time to Talk and enjoy the food and talk more and sit there and be there That was another thing too that before I was like, okay, we’re done eating. Why are we still here? And now it’s Okay, like let’s sit let’s talk let’s enjoy this time together and It’s just there’s no stress. Like there’s no chaos. Like that’s the best way that I can put it. There’s no chaos.

Lisa

Oh, I totally agree. And one of probably the coolest things that I’ve had happen. So my family goes to Florida multiple times. We’ve been going there for an extended period of time. My grandparents lived there. So there’s places that we’ve, you know, restaurants we’ve been going to for years. And now that I’m in this, you know, intuitive eating phase, not phase, life, life, part of my life, I don’t like the word lifestyle. Anyway, now that I’m an intuitive eater, going to these restaurants that I’ve eaten at multiple times, 50 times, however many, it’s really interesting because the first time I went to these as an intuitive eater, I’d order what I normally order, just kind of out of habit.

And then I was like, I don’t really like this. Or like, this is okay, it’s fine, but I wonder what this would taste like. Or I wonder if I chose the blackened option, or if I got sweet potato fries with this. If I did something different, how would this taste? Would I be more satisfied? And then going back again and exploring those options and realizing that I really like this restaurant, I just don’t like what I was getting, but I got it for years and years because I wasn’t aware of how satisfied I felt, what the flavors were like, was this the right temperature, consistency? I wasn’t taking any of that into consideration. It was, what do I think is the lowest calorie option? That is what I want, no questions asked. So it’s kind of cool that I get to almost experience these places for the first time.

Ryann

Yeah, I’ve been there, but it’s like, it’s brand new to me because now I have the whole menu. I don’t have this like tiny section. I have so many different options and that has been really, really rewarding because I’m able to have these experiences in a place that I’m very familiar with, but it still feels brand new. I love that. I think to piggyback off of that, something else that’s really been a game changer for me is not feeling like I have to wait for other people to eat. For those of you that have ever read my about me post, I am not a night time person, I’m a morning gal, like true and true, no matter what I’m doing, if I’m on vacation I will still wake up very early and when I’m on vacation, oftentimes I’m with people that like to sleep in and so when we’re having breakfast, it’s usually a brunch and it’s going to be between like 10 and 11 and me eating for the first time at 10 or 11 is not going to happen.

And so just knowing, and a lot of people know this about me too, for example, we’re going to Florida as well at the end of April and we’re going to be staying with my husband’s parents and it’s like they know that like I need something in the morning. So they’ll have like toast or something and before that used to be off the table. I can’t eat before we go out to breakfast. Like if I eat this now, this means I can’t have that later. And just all of the bargaining and the drama that would go on in my head that now it’s like, yes, I’m gonna have something now and then I’m gonna go to brunch and I’m not gonna be overly hungry and I’m gonna treat it no different. It’s not that big of a deal.

Or even those moments before when I would get so frustrated about somebody either eating something later than me or having a snack right before, like I think of you saying, my brother was eating and we were going to dinner. I used to get so mad because I would be like, if you’re eating now, that means that you’re not going to want dinner and I want dinner and that’s not okay. And now it’s like, okay, well, if you’re eating this now and you’re not as hungry for dinner, like that’s on you, but like, I’m going to continue to eat dinner either way. And like, that’s whatever you’re eating doesn’t change things for me and that has been huge.

Lisa

I would agree. Having, I think before I had this idea that like when we were on vacation, everyone had to be on the same schedule. We all had to eat breakfast at the same time, which meant we ate lunch at the same time. And if you deviated from that schedule, I was not okay with it. Like no, absolutely not. And thinking when you go on trips with friends, that’s almost harder. Because when you’re with your family, I can be bitchy. I can be a stick in the mud, like I don’t care. But when I’m with my friends, when I was with my friends, I should say, there was like this pressure to go with the flow and like be okay with it. And a couple trips, a couple spring break trips in college, that would happen.

We, everyone would get up late because they were probably hungover, and we wouldn’t, you know, we’d be like eating our first meal at noon, and I knew, like, I’m ravenous. I’d also probably been up for four hours at this point because I don’t sleep in. And I’m just, you know, like twiddling my thumbs in a hotel room in Mexico being like, I can’t, I don’t want to leave by myself. And I also don’t have cell service. So I’m stuck waiting for the next person to get up. And I remember going into those. Lunches and being in this really weird state because you’re hungry. So you’re like, at that point, my biological hunger is just like screaming at me. You need food, you need food, but I know because I waited so long, I’m like, I know I’m gonna, I’m just gonna overeat, like I have everything there is going to, and then I’m gonna feel bad in my bathing suit, and I’m gonna feel self-conscious, like I already knew what was gonna happen.

So then I would be like fighting against what my body was asking for, and that was so challenging because you’re trying to be like this easy, go with the flow type of gal with a bunch of other people, and you’re just like holding it all in. And I remember a couple times like during the day, like mid-afternoon, I’d be like, oh, I have to go back to the room for something. And I’d go and like inhale bars or leftover food or like whatever we had, because I didn’t let myself eat enough at lunch. So I was still hungry and it was just, it was miserable because I’m just thinking about food the entire time that I’m with my friends.

Ryann

I will say something that I do definitely still struggle with is when other, I feel like now I have gotten to a place where I’m so connected with my body that no matter where I’m at, for the most part, I’m pretty good at honoring my fullness.

There are obviously times where I push it over the edge, but that doesn’t happen very often anymore. And so I feel like oftentimes when I’m in these situations with people that maybe don’t have a healthy relationship with food, and there is this constant like, oh, I’m so full, I cannot imagine eating again, or how are you already hungry again?

That I feel like I still get, I’m definitely better, but I definitely still have this like, oh, that’s like kind of triggering and hits me in a different way because I have that old story of, oh my gosh, you did something wrong, how are you already hungry, but also annoyed because I’m like, I don’t understand why you’re making this a big deal because I listened to my body, like you didn’t, why are you making this about me

Lisa

Oh 100% that like gives me like it gives me the ick like because I think it it’s almost like I flash back instantly to that time where I was saying those things to myself and now like you were saying most of the time I’m eating to a comfortable level of fullness or I’m like very aware of like oh yeah that was you know just yeah and I own that decision. Yes, I was gonna say, it’s always like, okay, I’m gonna do this. It’s not, it doesn’t come out of nowhere, it doesn’t surprise me anymore. Before, it did. I always own that decision and say, I’m going to do this, I want to do this, I’m allowed to do this.

But when people say that, especially a group of women, I just am like, bleh. Like, it literally makes me feel it type of way because I’m like well I can be hungry again It’s been you know X amount of time since we ate or maybe I wasn’t satisfied And I just need I need something like it’s my my body I get to choose you know what I eat how much I eat all the things and just because that’s different than yours Doesn’t mean it’s bad or good or right or wrong, but I agree. That is something that still kind of gets me, even with where I’m at like now in my journey, it still just kind of hits me.

Ryann

Or even I’m thinking about, we had a late lunch, do we really need dinner? Or we had a late lunch, do you want to just like do some charcuterie for dinner? And I’m always like, no, I need dinner. I don’t care if it’s later, but I need dinner. Like, that’s not an option. I remember, I think it was like, one of the first times I was going to visit Grayson’s and meet Grayson’s parents. And we were flying in super late, and we hadn’t eaten anything. And he was on the phone with his mom. And his mom was like, is that gonna be okay? And Gracie looks at me and he’s like, no. No. And I’m so grateful I have that relationship with him where he knows me so well, he gets off the phone and he’s like, you would have gone ballistic. But that kind of stuff, I mean, I’m definitely better now where I’m like, no, we’re gonna go get dinner and if you don’t want to eat anything that’s fine. But that was- it took me a really long time to get there.

Lisa

Oh and I feel like that’s sadly very normal. Oh we had a big lunch! You’re like, oh blah blah blah let’s let’s skip this meal. And I- a long time ago I had an Instagram post- a long time ago, maybe like a year ago- I had an Instagram post and it was like stop what did I say oh stop like glorifying disordered eating and calling it wellness like when people would skip meals in the sake of like health and like even that like saying oh we had a big lunch we don’t need this or whatever it is that stuff now at this point gets me because it’s so normalized like skipping a meal because you had a big meal, you know, eating certain things, not eating certain things, over exercising because of things, like that is so normalized, but it’s so unhealthy.

Ryann

Not to mention it just exacerbates the I feel out of control the next time that I eat, which I don’t really have anymore. And I will say that a lot of that is specifically because I eat delicious food all the time so when I go to a restaurant it’s not like my taste buds and my brain is exploding yes I’m like this is delicious and I’m really enjoying this but I don’t have that my body is telling me it’s had enough and I keep telling myself to stop stop stop and I can’t like I can’t I do not have that anymore. And I know a lot of people ask me about that. And that really comes from what you do when you’re not on vacation. Because if you are not eating delicious food on a regular basis, and then you go on vacation and you’re eating all of this different food, then of course it’s gonna be really hard to put the fork down. But for me, the biggest difference between not being on vacation and being on vacation now is environment and that I’m not cooking. But other than that, there’s nothing different. There’s nothing different. I’m still eating delicious food. I’m still honoring hunger. I’m still listening to fullness. I’m still respecting my body. I’m still doing things that make me feel good. I’m just in a different place.

Lisa

Yes. Oh my gosh. I, I totally, totally agree. You just like, I had that thought and you summarized it so well.

Ryann

So for anybody that thinks, I don’t understand how you could ever go on vacation and come back and not diet, I want you to think about what if there wasn’t such a difference between being on vacation and not being on vacation?

Lisa

Yeah. And I think too, there’s, so this, I’m gonna use my brother as an example again, he’s always been the person who will leave like a couple bites of food on his plate, even when we’re out at, you know, anywhere. He always leaves like maybe onesie twosie, maybe sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s less, but he always leaves food on his plate. And before I’d be like, just eat that. Like, why aren’t you going to finish that? It’s three bites. And he’d be like, I don’t want it. Like I’m full. I don’t want it. And I never understood that until now when I’m like, oh, I get it. Like he is an intuitive eater without even knowing because he stops when he’s full.

Ryann

Because it’s not about weight anymore. Because it’s not about weight. When it’s about weight, it’s whatever, I’ll be better tomorrow. Hell yeah, I’m gonna eat that because either I’ve already accounted for it or I already blew it. But when it’s about feeling good, then no, I don’t want that because I don’t want to stomachache.

Lisa

Right, right. And if you say you’re on vacation, the worst thing is like having an upset stomach in a place that’s not yours.

Ryann

Yeah.

Lisa

Being uncomfortable, having like any type of GI distress in a place that’s not yours, or when you’re with people and you’re like sharing a bathroom and like all the things, that then adds like another level of stress. So now on top of having an upset stomach, you have just like so much adrenaline and so much cortisol pumping through your body. Yeah, no wonder you feel like absolute crap and not having to deal with that. Oh my gosh, it’s so nice to not have that stress, to know that realistically, nothing is different other than the place that I’m in and maybe the people that I’m with. That’s the only thing that’s different. Everything else stays the same.

Ryann

Yeah, and it can stay the same, especially when you don’t have this on track, off track, on the wagon, off the wagon.

Lisa

Yeah, I totally agree.

Ryann

For any of you that are getting ready to go on trips, definitely start with our episode on Lisa’s podcast, the Fully Fueled Life podcast, to listen about the pre-vacation, what it was like before, what it’s like now, so that you can avoid the what it was like when we were on vacation and you can get what it is like now. I will put a disclaimer that it did take time, right? You need to think of each one of these experiences as new practice opportunities because you’re in a new environment and you’re doing something new. And at the same time, it is possible to have those moments where it’s not a chaotic free-for-all on vacation where you’re coming back and you are so uncomfortable and you feel stressed and you’re like, got to get back on the, it doesn’t have to be like that. It can be enjoyable and it also doesn’t have to be all about stressing over the food or what’s gonna happen to my body on vacation, you are allowed to have fun.

Lisa

Yeah, I was gonna say, it doesn’t, especially if this is maybe your first trip that you’re taking, as an intuitive eater, as you’ve kind of started this journey, do not expect it to look like what Ryan and I were saying our trips look like now. It’s taken time, it’s taken practice, and we’ve learned from each trip that we’ve gone on. We’ve learned more about ourselves, about our hunger, our fullness cues, what we need to do to set ourselves up for success. So each trip that you go on now is just a learning experience. You’re gonna learn more about yourself and then the next trip you’re gonna learn even more and that’s gonna continue. I mean, I’ll probably learn something new about myself when I go to Florida, I’m sure you will as well. And that’s kind of part of the fun. We’re continuously learning, like this journey never ends. And I kind of like that.

Ryann

I do too. And that just made me think about one more thing, something that I did learn when I was in treatment that really helped in the beginning is having that moment before you go on the trip to think about what do I want to remember from this trip. Like, if it is the day after you got back and you’re writing down everything that happened on this trip, what do you want to write down? And keeping that top of mind so that when you do have these triggers or these tough moments, bringing it back to that and asking yourself, this is what I want in this tough moment, how can I still make that happen?

Lisa

I love that idea. This is kind of related to that. spring break trip to Barcelona, very lucky, but I was like, I want to remember this. I want to remember this. And I made a point every night before I went to bed and I write down the little bullet points. I was like, had an amazing meal here. You know, like cried over gelato here, like these things. So I could look back and be like, Oh, I remember that. And that for me was the first time that I have like vivid memories of a trip, and that completely changed how I thought about trips moving forward.

Ryann

I love that. Well, I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope you have an amazing time on any vacations that you have coming up. And obviously, if you ever need either of us or just want some extra support, you can always reach out and we will talk to you guys soon.