‘I can't stop counting the minutes until I am alone so I can binge – why is this happening?!'
I remember sitting on my bed, tense and itchy, just waiting for that door to close and for me to be alone. Alone in my house, with nobody to judge or watch, I ran to my kitchen, shoving everything in my mouth as fast as possible. *but just enough of each food so nobody would notice when they got home.*
As I came back into consciousness, feeling so sick and drowning in shame I would tell myself, ‘I'll never do this again.” Until, of course, I did do it again. And again… AND again. I was repeating the same restrict-binge cycle over and over.
The problem was that I spent so much time focusing on how not to binge rather than looking at what was causing me to binge that nothing changed. For years.
Once I got honest about the root of my bingeing (restriction) and worked HARD to end it, I realized one day that I was home alone, and the thought of bingeing didn't even cross my mind. At that moment, I knew I was free.
There is hope. You can be free too!
The urge to binge when you are alone is due to the restriction that is happening throughout your day (whether that be emotional and/or physical)
Get curious (without judging) where you're still restricting. If bingeing is happening, that means restricting is still happening. Don't know where? Check out this post to uncover some sneak restrictions— or this one.
Work on the restriction. Once the restriction ends, the bingeing will, too, whether you're alone or not 🙂 You don't need more willpower or to try harder – you just have to get to the root!