Today’s blog topic comes from a follower’s question that I feel is so worth talking about: the dreaded stretch marks.
She wrote:
“Hi, Ryann! I just noticed new stretch marks., Will they go away? How do I deal with new stretch marks without spiraling?”
First of all, I want to sincerely thank this brave woman for daring to ask a question I am pretty sure nearly all of us can relate to. In recovery, body changes are almost inevitable, but, the body changes are only the things we can see: the weight gain, and the tighter clothes. etc. In reality, there’s so much more to them that we can’t see.
When you are grieving any major change (in this case, your old body) reframing your thinking doesn't work because this isn't just about your body changing – It is facing the reality of what those changes mean to you! In order to do that, I suggest something I like to call “rewriting your story.”
Rewriting Your Stretch Marks Story
Here is the exact method I use with my clients. Fill in the blanks for yourself to help rewrite your story about stretch marks.
01. I feel ashamed of _________________, because to me it means _______.
02. Evidence I have to support that story: ____. The evidence I have to discredit that story: ____.
03. When my mind plays this story, something more empowering I can tell myself instead is_______.
I know this is tough stuff, so let me give you an example:
What are you telling yourself about your stretch marks?
I feel ashamed of my stretch marks because to me it means that I'm less attractive, less worthy, have no control, and have ruined my body.
Is that story really true?
The evidence I have to support that story:
I have no actual evidence to support this story, just beliefs I've been told by social media.
Evidence to discredit that story:
Story: I'm less attractive and less worthy
Discredit: @victoriagarrik and @fittybritttty both have shared they have stretch marks, and they're both incredibly beautiful, successful, and worthy.
Story: I have no control
Discredit: Stretch marks have nothing to do with control. For example, you can get them from having a baby!
Story: I have ruined my body
Discredit: Stretch marks can't ruin my body. My body is still functioning and healthy. I’m alive.
Can I change the story?
When my mind plays this story, something more empowering I can tell myself instead is that I am learning to accept these stretch marks. They tell the story of me being a bad b* and overcoming my struggles with food.
So, to answer your question:
I don’t know if your stretch marks will go away… no one can tell you that. What I can tell you is that you can handle these changes in your body. What I can tell you is that responding to the new bodily changes by rewriting your story is how you keep yourself from spiraling. You have all the power in you to rewrite your story. Believe in yourself. Food freedom awaits.
