Calorie deficits. Yikes! And diet culture really sells it, doesn’t it? “Just eat in a deficit!” and voilà, the weight melts off, and everything’s great. Unicorns and rainbows and all the attention, praise, sex, money—[all those fantasies you’ve told yourself will happen when you finally lose the weight]. But the reality? Oh man, you’re miserable.

Let’s talk specifics.

Physically, it’s like your body is running on fumes. Your energy levels plummet, and suddenly you’re dragging yourself through the day, thinking, “How am I this tired?” Your workouts start to feel like a chore, and your once-enthusiastic self turns into someone who counts down the minutes until you can lie down again. Your stomach is growling between meals, that gnawing emptiness that makes every food ad seem like it’s speaking directly to you.

And then there’s the psychological side—the constant irritability, the short fuse when things don’t go your way. You snap at your partner, feel distant from your friends, and wonder why you’re always in such a bad mood. And why is it that suddenly, food is all you can think about? It’s like your brain has been hijacked, and no matter how hard you try to distract yourself, those thoughts about dinner—or that doughnut you swore you wouldn’t eat—are always lurking in the background.

Why Calorie Counting Turns Up the Volume on Food Thoughts

When you’re eating less than your body needs, your brain knows. Studies show that when the body is underfed, the brain becomes hyper-focused on finding food . It’s your body’s built-in survival mechanism, a strategy that worked wonders for our ancestors in times of famine.

So, when you start cutting calories, your brain is like, “Whoa, wait a minute—are we in a famine or something?” And what does it do? It ramps up your focus on food. Suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of every smell, every ad for pizza that pops up, every crinkle of a snack wrapper. It’s like your senses are dialed up to a hundred.

You might find yourself scrolling through recipes on Instagram, watching food videos, fantasizing about meals you’re going to eat once this “diet” is over. And even though you’re trying to eat less, you end up spending more time thinking about food than you ever did before. It’s not a lack of willpower; it’s biology. Your brain is trying to motivate you to go find food because it thinks you’re not getting enough.

It’s Not Just About Hunger—It’s About Deprivation

And sure, yeah, there’s the hunger. That gnawing, empty feeling in your stomach when you’ve cut your calories down to fit into some calculator’s idea of what you should be eating. But it’s more than that. It’s about deprivation.

Think about it—when you’re told you can’t have something, what happens? You want it more, right? It’s like being told not to push a big red button; suddenly, it’s all you can think about. When you’re constantly restricting certain foods or telling yourself you can only eat a little bit, it’s like those foods become the forbidden fruit. And then, even foods you didn’t think about that much before become way more enticing.

The Brain’s Sneaky Way of Trying to Protect You

When you’re in a calorie deficit, your brain doesn’t just make you think more about food—it starts to crave it intensely. Research shows that calorie restriction increases the production of ghrelin, the hunger hormone, and reduces levels of leptin, the hormone that signals fullness. Essentially, your body’s alarm bells start ringing, making it feel like food is scarce, and your brain’s response is to get you eating again—fast.

It’s like your brain is throwing everything at you to get you to eat more, a last-ditch effort to restore balance. That’s why you might find yourself reaching for snacks you don’t even like that much or why that leftover slice of cake suddenly seems impossible to resist. It’s not that you’re out of control; it’s that your brain is working overtime to keep you from staying in that deficit. It’s like your body is saying, “Hey, remember those chips? Those would be really great right about now.”

Your body is designed to survive, so when it senses that food might be scarce, it shifts into high alert. It slows down your metabolism (so, you burn fewer calories), and it increases your focus on food (so, you’re more likely to go find some). It’s not trying to sabotage you; it’s trying to save you, even if it feels like the exact opposite.

And this is the tricky part—your brain isn’t doing this to sabotage you; it’s doing it to protect you. It’s trying to make sure you have enough energy to keep going. So those cravings? That urge to eat when you’ve told yourself you shouldn’t? They’re not a sign of weakness. They’re a sign that your body and mind are doing exactly what they were designed to do—ensure you survive.

The Problem with Constantly Thinking About Your Next Meal

So, you find yourself thinking about your next meal constantly, planning out what you’re going to eat and when, maybe even feeling anxious if your meal is running a little late. And what happens when you finally get to eat? You might feel like you can’t control yourself, like you’re eating faster, like you’re eating more than you meant to. It’s like all those thoughts and all that focus on food build up, and then, when you let yourself have something, the floodgates open.

The Food Noise Gets Louder, Not Quieter

It’s like being underwater and then finally coming up for air—you can’t help but take these big, desperate breaths. And then the guilt kicks in, right? Because you think, “I shouldn’t have eaten that much, I’m ruining my progress,” but really, your body is just trying to make up for what it missed. And that guilt? It just makes you want to restrict again, and the whole cycle starts over.

This is what I mean when I say calorie deficits make the food noise louder. You think about food more. You dream about food. You get anxious about food. You plan your day around it. It’s like you’ve got this radio in your head, and all it’s playing is food, food, food. And it’s exhausting. It’s like your whole life starts to revolve around what you can and can’t eat.

“But How Do I Lose Weight Then?!”

Ah, the million-dollar question, right? “Okay, I get it, my brain is just trying to keep me alive, but… how do I lose weight then?!” Trust me, I hear you. It’s confusing when all you’ve been told is to cut back, restrict, eat less, move more. But here’s the thing: maybe the solution isn’t about taking things away. Maybe it’s about adding things in instead.

Focus on Adding In, Not Cutting Out

Think about it—when you’re constantly focusing on what you can’t have, it’s like waving a big red flag at your brain. It becomes all you can think about, and that food noise just gets louder and louder. So what if, instead of putting all your energy into cutting out calories, you shifted the focus to adding in things that actually support your body and make you feel good?

Add More Nourishing Foods

Start with food that fuels you, that makes you feel strong and energized. Adding in more whole, nutrient-dense foods—like fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean proteins—means your body is getting what it needs to feel satisfied. And when your body is getting what it needs, it’s a lot less likely to send out those desperate hunger signals. Think about it like crowding out—when you add more of the good stuff, there’s naturally less room for the things that don’t make you feel your best.

Add in Movement You Actually Enjoy

And hey, let’s talk about movement too. Instead of punishing yourself with workouts you hate just to burn calories, what if you added in activities that you actually enjoy? Movement that makes you feel alive, not like you’re just trying to burn off last night’s dinner. Walking, dancing, stretching—whatever makes you want to move, go for that. It’s amazing how much your mindset shifts when you see exercise as something that adds to your life, not something you’re doing out of guilt.

Add in Mindfulness Around Eating

It’s also about adding in a little mindfulness. Slow down when you eat, notice when you’re full, and give yourself permission to enjoy the foods you love without labeling them as “bad” or “off-limits.” When you’re not constantly in a battle with yourself over what you can and can’t eat, you start to notice what actually feels good in your body. And that can make a huge difference in how much you naturally eat.

Focus on How You Feel

And maybe the biggest shift of all? Start focusing on how you feel rather than what the scale says. When you add in foods that nourish you, movement that brings you joy, and practices that help you manage stress, your body starts to respond. Maybe that means weight loss, maybe it means finding a healthier balance. But it’s not about obsessing over a number; it’s about creating a life that feels good—one where food isn’t the enemy and your body isn’t a project to be fixed.

So, yeah, losing weight might not look like the strict, calorie-cutting plans we’ve all been sold. It might look more like treating your body with a little more kindness, adding in more of what you need rather than taking everything away. And that, my friend, is a lot more sustainable—and a lot more peaceful.

You Deserve Peace Around Food

At the end of the day, you deserve peace around food. You deserve to live a life where food doesn’t take up all your thoughts, where you can enjoy a meal without mentally calculating every bite. You deserve to feel full and satisfied, not just physically but mentally too. And that peace? It’s not going to come from eating less and less—it comes from tuning into what your body really needs, and letting yourself trust it again.

So next time you hear that voice saying, “Just cut back a little more,” maybe try asking, “But at what cost?” Because if the cost is constant food obsession, stress, and feeling like you’re never enough, then maybe it’s time to try something different. Maybe it’s time to trust that your body has your back, even when your mind is telling you otherwise.