Why It’s So Damn Hard to Let Go of Dieting

December 11, 2023

Hey There, I'm Ryann Nicole.

I’m a recovered binge eater who changed the story from something that happened to me to something that happened for me. Now, I’m a licensed therapist teaching you to do the same.

My mission? To help you ditch food stress and live your life with mental peace and freedom every single day!

Letting go of dieting feels impossible sometimes, doesn’t it? You know the endless cycle—the hype at the start, the rigid focus, that feeling of control, and then, before you know it, the inevitable slip-up. You’re left feeling worse than before, promising yourself, “Next time will be different.” So, why does dieting have such a strong hold on us, even when we know deep down that it doesn’t work in the long run? Let’s break it down. There’s a lot more going on here than just the food.

Control: The Illusion We’re Hooked On

For many of us, dieting feels like control. It’s a set of rules to follow when everything else feels chaotic, a place to funnel our energy when life gets overwhelming. This sense of control feels comforting. But the thing is, it’s not real control.

Think about it: if dieting truly offered control, it wouldn’t slip through our fingers the second life throws a curveball. Dieting is a flimsy kind of control because it demands perfection in a world that’s anything but perfect. And yet, we hold onto it because it feels like control—something reliable in a world that can be anything but.

According to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), about 35% of people who start with “normal” dieting will progress to more pathological dieting habits. Of those, 20-25% end up with a partial or full-syndrome eating disorder. So that sense of control? It comes at a cost, and for many, it spirals into something darker and harder to shake.

The Fear of Weight Gain

This one hits hard: the fear of weight gain. We live in a world where thinness is equated with value, worth, and love, so it’s no wonder that letting go of dieting feels like setting yourself up for judgment. The idea that you might gain weight if you stop dieting can feel terrifying. It’s not just about the physical change; it’s about what you believe that change says about you.

Dieting often seems like the only path to acceptance, which is a huge part of why it’s so hard to let go. And here’s the kicker: research shows that around 95% of people who lose weight on traditional diets regain it within 1-5 years. That’s almost everyone. So if weight control is the goal, dieting doesn’t exactly deliver on its promises. Instead, it locks us into a cycle of fear and constant self-surveillance. And living with that constant fear of weight gain? It’s exhausting and rarely worth the toll it takes.

The Belief That Letting Go Means “Giving Up”

Here’s the sneaky one: there’s this deeply rooted belief that letting go of dieting means “giving up” on yourself. It’s like we’ve been taught that if you’re not actively working to shrink yourself, you’re somehow failing. Diet culture has convinced us that if we’re not trying to change, then we don’t care about ourselves. But that belief is twisted because letting go of dieting doesn’t mean you’re letting yourself go. It means you’re choosing to listen to your body, to honor it instead of fighting it.

Letting go of dieting is, in fact, a step toward mental and emotional health. NEDA reports that dieting is the most common precursor to eating disorders. People who diet are significantly more likely to develop eating disorders than those who don’t. So choosing to step off the diet path isn’t giving up; it’s breaking a cycle that can lead to real harm.

Letting Go of the Fantasy: The “Ideal” Body and the Perfect Life

And then, of course, there’s the fantasy. We hold onto dieting because it comes with this image of a better life—the perfect version of ourselves that we believe is waiting on the other side of that goal weight. We imagine that finally losing weight will mean confidence, happiness, and a feeling of finally being “enough.” That fantasy is powerful because it promises so much.

But here’s the thing: studies show that dieting itself contributes to psychological distress. Dieting has been linked to increased levels of stress, anxiety, and even depressive symptoms. That fantasy? It often leads to a very real sense of disappointment because weight loss isn’t a magic cure for the deeper struggles we carry. Giving up the fantasy of perfection is hard, but it’s the first step toward finding peace that isn’t dependent on a number on the scale.

So, How Do You Let Go?

It’s no wonder letting go of dieting feels impossible. It’s tied to control, fear, beliefs about self-worth, and a fantasy of happiness. But here’s the question: what if letting go of dieting isn’t about losing control but finding it somewhere else? What if it’s about choosing to trust that your body knows what it needs—even if that feels wildly uncomfortable at first?

Letting go is hard, yes. But holding onto something that doesn’t serve you, that ultimately harms you? That’s even harder.

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Ryann Nicole

Licensed Therapist, Certified Nutritionist, and Virtual Wellness Coach

Ryann is a licensed therapist and virtual wellness coach who has assisted individuals worldwide in establishing a healthier relationship with food and their bodies.

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Ryann is a licensed therapist and virtual wellness coach who has assisted individuals worldwide in establishing a healthier relationship with food and their bodies.