Are you caught in the frustrating loop of “F-it” eating, where one small slip sends you spiraling into a binge? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re tackling why that “F-it” mentality feels so hard to escape, how perfectionism pushes you into it, and what you can do to finally break free and find peace with food—especially as the holidays approach.

🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎧 Listen on Spotify

HIGHLIGHTS

01:10 What is the Last Supper Mentality and how it traps you

06:00 The role of perfectionism in fueling binge eating

08:45 Why perfectionism is so hard to break and keeps you stuck

12:30 How to break free from f-it eating and find balance

RESOURCES + LINKS

⭐️ Starting October 8th, I’ll be offering free live group coaching every week in my Facebook group to support you through this journey. Don’t miss out!

Ryann: @itsryannnicole

Work with Ryann: BingeEatingUnchained.com

Join the IRN Community Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/itsryannnicole

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional advice.

Transcript

 I saw a girl on TikTok yesterday who was sharing how she was practicing having just a part of her pumpkin cookie and leaving the rest. And she was talking about how her brain so wanted to go into effort mode and how she was refusing to let herself go there. And it was such a great video because I feel like it did a really good job at sharing in real time what it looks like to Challenge yourself and use your skills and after I finished watching that it had me thinking about how that last supper mentality the effort mentality Really isn’t talked about a ton and when you’re in it when you think that way It can feel like you’re the only one who thinks like that and how no one would understand how you can go from calm to All of a sudden wanting to eat everything in sight and and it’s wild how fast that’s going switch flips, right?

Like one minute you’re totally fine. And then the next you’re spiraling into this like chaotic, let me just scramble and eat everything now. And suddenly it feels so logically everything in sight because you tell yourself tomorrow’s a new day. Tomorrow, you’ll be good and you’ll start fresh and won’t have to worry about those foods anymore.

Right? But it’s never the last time, so why does this keep happening and how do you stop doing this? That’s what we’re going to get into today. I want to break down this whole last supper mentality and give you some strategies to stop falling into that trap so that you can feel more at ease around food, especially during the holidays.

So this, let me eat everything now and tomorrow I’ll be back on track thing, that’s called the last supper mentality, and it’s not just some random, one off thought. It’s a pattern that so many people who struggle with binge eating get caught into. Evelyn Tribbley and Elise Reich, the authors of Intuitive Eating, nail it when they say, The pursuit of weight loss is a catalyst for food obsession, leading to a last supper eating behavior in which you eat as much as you can today as you vow to begin your diet tomorrow.

That hits home, right? It’s that mindset of, better eat it all now because tomorrow I’m starting over, aka. I’m bad, I’m wrong, I’m a failure today, tomorrow I’m getting back on track. And then there’s this all or nothing thinking that goes along with that. They say all or nothing thinking is a hallmark of diet culture and perfectionism.

If you can’t be perfect, it feels like you’ve failed, so you might as well go all out. That’s exactly what happens. The moment you can’t stick to perfect, your brain flips the switch. Suddenly it’s like, well, I already messed up, might as well go all in. Perfectionism doesn’t just trigger this mentality.

Perfectionism Every time you set those impossible standards for yourself, you get trapped in the same cycle. You’re chasing perfectionism, and let’s be real, it’s impossible to get there. And that’s why this cycle feels so exhausting and endless. And you might think to yourself, I don’t understand though, because I care so much about what I eat all day, and then I hit this wall where I’m like, screw it, I don’t care.

But the truth is, it’s not that you stop caring. I’d argue it’s the opposite. You care even more in those moments. The decision to give in, to say screw it, is driven by the fact that you care so much that any slip up feels like a total failure. This is happening because you care so deeply and you’re putting so much pressure on yourself.

That one decision, one cookie, one extra bite feels like it’s all or nothing. So in your mind, once you’ve messed up, it becomes, what’s the point? I’ve already failed. When you’re stuck in that perfectionist mindset, Every little slip up feels like a total failure. You tell yourself, I’ll be perfect tomorrow, but how often does that actually go as planned?

Tomorrow rarely plays out the way you imagine, and when it doesn’t, you’re back in the same place promising yourself next week or next month, you’re back in the same place. will be different. It’s so draining, because perfectionism tricks you into thinking that more control is the answer, when really it’s the letting go of that pressure that’s really the solution.

I mean, think about every time you’ve tried to restrict yourself. Cutting calories, weighing every bite, or keeping quote good foods in the house. It might work for a bit, work in quotes, because what’s your definition of works, right? But eventually the pressure builds up, and then that one moment when you eat something off plan turns into a total mess.

Total spiral. You end up eating way more than if you hadn’t been so strict in the first place. That’s the classic rebound effect. The tighter you try to grip, the more out of control you end up feeling. Were those times when you’ve logged every calorie convinced that control was the key. Then one day you go over your calorie limit by just a little.

Instead of brushing it off, it becomes the reason to throw the whole day away. I’ll start fresh tomorrow and suddenly tomorrow is just a repeat of today. In those quote, good foods you stock up on, hoping that avoiding bad foods will keep you safe, again, bad in quotes, because what is bad? How many times have you ended up driving to the store to grab that exact food you’ve been craving, only to binge on it because you told yourself you can’t have it?

Like, for me, it didn’t matter if I didn’t buy the foods, because A, I would just either binge on anything that I had, or I would just drive to the store and get what I wanted when I had the urge to binge. The more you try to control everything, the more intense those cravings get, and the harder it becomes to find any kind of balance.

This is the proof that perfectionism doesn’t keep you in control. It’s what makes you feel out of control. It’s like setting yourself up to fail before you’ve even started. But why is it so hard to be like, I totally see that, and I totally understand that, and I can’t stop? Because it’s not just about wanting to do things right.

Perfectionism is like this protective shield you’ve built. It’s how you’ve learned to feel safe. To keep things under control if everything’s perfect. Nothing can go wrong, right? It feels like a way you can keep yourself safe from avoiding failure judgment or disappointment It helps you manage all those uncomfortable emotions that come with uncertainty because if I control it, maybe I wouldn’t care Like think about it.

Maybe you started tracking calories or weighing your food because it gave you something to control when everything else felt messy and made you feel like you had a handle on things. Or maybe you remember the praise you got when you were being good with food and that felt like validation. It told you you’re doing it right.

So you’re good. So you kept chasing that perfect feeling, thinking it would keep you safe from judgment or criticism. Or how about when you avoided going out to eat with friends because you didn’t want to mess up the day? That wasn’t just about food, it was a way to protect yourself from feeling out of control in front of other people, right?

Perfectionism gave you a script. Stick to it, and you’ll be fine. You’ll be safe. If you could just follow the rules, nothing bad is gonna happen. The truth is perfectionism usually comes from something deeper. A need for approval or this fear of not being enough. It steps in to fill the gaps where you feel insecure or afraid of not measuring up.

It’s like if you can just be perfect, you’ll avoid the pain of feeling like a failure or the fear of being rejected. And this isn’t just in your head. Research shows perfectionism is rooted in fear. Fear of failing, fear of rejection, fear of being seen as not good enough. That’s why it’s so hard to break.

Letting go of perfectionism feels like giving up control and when control has been your safety net, it feels terrifying. It’s like our brain says, if I stop striving for perfection though, everything is going to fall apart and I’m not going to be able to handle that. And that’s where that last supper mentality comes in.

Perfectionism tells you that tomorrow you’ll do it perfectly, so you’ll be quote good, stick to the plan, eat all the right foods, and get it together. But today, well you’ve already blown it, so why not go all in? The perfectionism fuels that cycle of I’ll just start fresh tomorrow, because if you’re not perfect right now, what’s the freaking point?

It traps you in that all or nothing thinking where you’re either winning or losing. or failing and there’s no in between. And it’s exhausting. It doesn’t protect you. It just keeps you stuck spinning your wheels. So how do you change this? Let me tell you. First, it’s important to recognize that this isn’t something that shifts overnight.

It’s about retraining your brain to think in a more flexible, compassionate way. And that’s gonna take time. So if this doesn’t automatically change overnight. That’s not that you’re not doing enough or not that you’re doing something wrong, it’s that it just takes time. But here are some steps to get you started.

First, as we’ve been talking about over a lot of the last couple of episodes, it starts with awareness and a pause. The first step is just noticing when you’re falling into perfectionist or all or nothing thinking. Start by paying attention to your thoughts around food and your body. When do you notice yourself falling into this thinking?

Awareness is key because you can’t change what you don’t notice. So what might this look like? Well, let’s say you’ve just had a slice of cake and immediately think well, I’ve already messed up So might as well just eat the rest of the cake Oh, I noticed I’m falling into this. Pause. Then from there, you’re going to talk to yourself.

This is one of the most underrated coping skills, but it’s so powerful. Talking to yourself helps you step out of that spiral and gives you a chance to reset. If you can talk out loud, that’s great. Hearing your own voice can be extra calming, but most of the time, you’re probably going to need to do this in your head because you’re going to be with other people.

So here’s what that might sound like. Hey, it’s okay. The food isn’t going anywhere and you don’t need to make yourself sick over this right now You can still have more if you’re still hungry later by talking to yourself in a kind and understanding way You’re breaking the cycle of guilt and pressure and creating more space to make a more mindful decision around food Like what would you say to somebody else?

Can you say that to yourself? And then from there? Let’s redirect your focus When you feel that pull to go all in and fall into that perfectionist thinking, shifting your attention can be powerful. Sometimes it’s about taking your focus off the food and putting it back on the moment or experience. Like, if you’re with others, let’s try focusing on the people around you instead of the food.

Think about the conversations, the laughter, the atmosphere. Engage with the people at the table, ask questions or share stories. Redirecting your attention to that connection and experience can take some of the power away from the food. For example, remind yourself this event is about so much more than just the food.

It’s about enjoying the people that I’m with. Let’s say you’re home alone and this is happening. When you’re by yourself, redirecting can feel a bit trickier because it’s easy to get stuck into your head. But you can still shift your focus in something more grounding. Maybe you take a moment to step away from the kitchen, go for a short walk, or read a few pages of a book.

I recommend a fun book. Or put music on and dance for a minute. You can also focus on your physical sensations, like hold some ice cubes or splash some cold water on your face. This is really about slowing down and asking yourself, how can I take care of myself in this moment that doesn’t involve food?

Like, what do I really need right now? The goal here is to break this cycle of hyper focusing on food and give yourself a moment to regroup. By shifting your attention to something else, whether it’s the people around you or an activity that feels good, you can create some space to breathe and make decisions that feel more aligned with what you really need.

Okay, so now let’s see how this might look in practice. Let’s say you’re at a holiday brunch, sitting around the table with friends and family, and the food just keeps coming. Pancakes, quiche, bacon, pastries, eggnog. You’re enjoying yourself, not really paying attention to how much you’re eating, because everything tastes so good.

But then as the meal winds down, you suddenly realize how much food you’ve had. You start mentally adding up all the calories in the panic, and that’s when you Oh my god, I’ve eaten so much and it’s not even noon. And then immediately it’s like, well, well, I’ve already gone over my calories for today so I might as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the day and I’ll get back on track tomorrow.

But instead of falling into that mindset, you pause. Hold on. Just because I’ve eaten more than I planned doesn’t mean the whole day is a waste. I don’t have to do this. You remind yourself that one meal, no matter how big, doesn’t define your day or your progress. It’s just food and I’m allowed to enjoy it.

I have no idea what the rest of the day is going to look like. Why don’t I just pause and when I’m hungry again, I’ll eat again. You remind yourself I’ve enjoyed myself and that doesn’t necessarily mean the rest of the day has to follow some all or nothing pattern. Maybe you decide to take a walk after brunch not because you need to burn off the calories but because it simply feels good.

Or maybe you move on with your day focusing on spending time with loved ones instead of obsessing over the food. By letting go of that perfectionistic thinking by reminding yourself that one meal doesn’t have to define the rest of your day, you break that cycle. You allow yourself to enjoy the moment without letting it spiral into guilt or overeating.

This is what flexibility looks like in real life over time because at the end of the day, this is really about breaking the rigidity. So to bring this full circle, remember that TikTok video I mentioned earlier, the one where she was practicing not going into epic mode after eating part of her cookie.

That’s the key word. Practicing. You have to actively practice doing something different around these foods, especially the ones that tend to send you into this thinking. You can’t expect to let go of these deeply ingrained patterns overnight, and you definitely can’t get mad at yourself for slipping back into old habits if you’re not giving yourself the space to try new ones.

You can’t break this cycle by just hoping it won’t happen next time, it’s a practice just like anything else. Each time you catch yourself in that all or nothing last supper thinking, or when you feel that urge to just eat it all now and be good tomorrow, that’s That’s your moment to practice. It’s not about getting it right every time.

It’s about showing up for yourself and trying again with compassion. So as the holidays roll in, cut yourself some slack. You’re learning. You’re practicing. And each time you choose to respond differently, even in the smallest way, you’re making progress and we’re gonna celebrate that. And if you take anything away from this episode, when you’re noticing yourself going into that spiral, pause, breathe, remind yourself, I don’t need to make this mean so much.